30 August, 2006

aha woow I hope u guys finished arguing coz I have some points to address….the party is over...I’m really sorry coz things went that way…never expected the discussion will turn like that ....Actually, I’ve been misunderstood big time…

Some ppl just let their imagination go far away imagining me being oppressed & tortured by religion, family, and culture!! Some ppl just put my family is da middle…but guess wut I have the most wonderful , supporting, caring, and loving parents on Earth…..

The rebellious energy and my openness haven’t come out of the blue but from my dear dad..
Who gave me the ability 2 chose & decide……. Who put his faith, trust, and confidence in his little daughter…Who encouraged her 2 have a strong personality, 2 be an independent entity, rebellious, stubborn, a girl who never accepts things as they are without being convinced….

I argue, argue, and argue with them YES
but eventually reach satisfying solutions ….I’m not living with a military gang! So plz put my family aside….i guess having some sort of conflict is something healthy and usual! Some friends just think I’m lucky 2 have such a family! I realize this when I look at some other conservative families whose daughters learnt nothing except being submissive spending their lives pleasing the society & letting years pass by to end up alone…..

Yes I dare to criticize & question
& have the willingness to continue keeping this spirit!

Some mistakenly supposed that it’s disrespectful to think about living alone while ur parents are still alive. It’s your right to believe in whatever you want but don’t close your eyes assuming that people with different point of views DON’T EXIST OR NOT ALLOWED TO EXIST.

Another thing, if you just paid attention to the following sentence:

Your identity is a mixture of things U CREATE fromUR RELIGION U FOLLOW ...UR ETHICS .........UR OWN PERSPECTIVES .............................................

I guess I said follow ur religion, if some bloggers had just read that word “UR Religion”, they would have saved their comments. My relation with God is mine; it’s between him and me. I love my national dress, eat national traditional food, enjoy listening 2 wut mom & dad tell about the old good days, adore the national music, love 2 smell my grandma’s sewn sweater…….BUT that doesn’t mean that I can’t try the Italian or Chinese food, wear jeans, or learn a foreign language....I’m no body 2 demean, degrade, disrespect, or offend other cultures and the same applies when it comes 2 our culture……

The reason behind this blog was 2 release my anger toward what is happening in our “feminine world”, to express my frustration to c some women suffering coz they are women…… Cultural practices and beliefs are not the HOLY QURAN ..our ancestors were human beings like u & me……its not a white page without black marks….

In some cultures they still burn the wife alive if the husband dies before here….. In some cultures they chase the wife for paying the dowry and some women commit suicide just 2 get ride of their miseries….. In some culture they still practice Honor killing…… u name the rest coz the list is long

Dina is a women in her mid-twenties living under immense oppression & unlimited supervision…not allowed to work…beaten up by her dad…not allowed 2 have friends…living under her step mother’s mercy…restriction…restriction …and restriction ....She rebels in her own way, she drinks, smokes, have sex with anybody whenever she has the chance …& guess what she is a lesbian…seeing similar example everywhere, in every house, in every society, in every country depresses me. I feel myself paralyzed coz I can’t help….i can’t change how SOME people look upon women, can’t change their mentalities….. Her fault is being a woman in the wrong place….. leading her life to hell… …seeing some women destroying their lives makes me imagine that they would have been brilliant personalities, achievers, or leaders if some body had believed in them!

I see women who are not allowed to
Study majors they like,
Choose their man,
Get married or even
I see women who are not allowed to survive in a male-dominated society.

Dear all
Excuse me if I talk on behave of them
I don’t blog 2 entertain others, not 2 insult anybody either….
I ‘m not a Mufti…& I don’t claim I know better than any one…but being young doesn’t mean I have 2 close my big mouth….

I do respect & admire your views. Didn’t intend 2 block ur stream of thoughts…but I still have all the rights to see things from my own perspective which might be wrong or right……love ur passion 4 Islam….i don’t have any problem learning from you though…

I see no reason for ur “ma3ma3a”…….
U could be the greatest LOVER
The greatest HUSBAD
The greatest BROTHER
The greatest DAD
AND eventually the most wonderful MAN ever….

But don’t assume the rest of men on earth are
Respectful to women
Protective to a reasonable extent
And followers of TRUE Islam that appreciates women

If that was the case, we wouldn’t c other dinaz everywhere…… Ur free 2 express ur opinion here …its my home…my kingdom…my nest…my outlet….the place where I share my concerns, others experience & my observations…..

Many thanks 2 MD, silent tear, uae alias, abed hamdan, summer, tamara, clayfuture, shady, hanan &
Mr. Qwaider ( damak 7ami kteeer ro2!)

Appreciate ur comments although some ppl were harsh, aggressive, and just came up with false assumptions….

Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.
Mahatma Gandhi

Prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery.
Author Unknown

We are free, truly free, when we don't need to rent our arms to anybody in order to be able to lift a piece of bread to our mouths.
Ricardo Flores Magon, speech, 31 May 1914

Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.
Abraham Lincoln

Liberty is the possibility of doubting, of making a mistake,... of searching and experimenting,... of saying No to any authority - literary, artistic, philosophical, religious, social, and even political. Ignazio Silone, The God That Failed, 1950

Warm regards & my space is open 2 the whole world!

Love u all !!!

28 August, 2006

Shady’s comment on the post “Single Arab women living alone? Yup, WHY NOT?” triggered this post and reminded me of one of the zillion conversations I had with my sister about what is so called “Culture”.......

My poor sister was convincing me (as usual along with the rest of the royal family :D) with regard to how my rebellious mentality doesn’t work with “OUR CULTURE”…and how “OUR CULTURE” never accepts such ideas…..and that I don’t live in the west but “IN OUR CULTURE”….Etc

I asked her a question: could you please define the word

She was like it’s about our beliefs…..blab blah

I said let me define it for you

It’s about beliefs, thoughts, practices, traditions, and customs our ANCESTORS used to FOLLOW hundred years ago……

Our ANCESTORS are DEAD (sheb3oo moot)………and I don’t FOLLOW others beliefs (Why would I? Any reason? NO) ………not born to FOLLOW but hopefully to

I FOLLOW my OWN RULES I put for myself

Your identity is a mixture of things U CREATE from

UR ETHICS .........
UR OWN PERSPECTIVES .............................................

Do you notice the
U, I, Myself, Me ,UR

It's not THEY………

Someppl claim that they r LIBERAL while they keep on saying BUT…….

Yesterday I asked a bloger (Tamara)
about the difference between untraditional and liberal after reading her profile

Tamara Says…
About Me
I'm a simply complicated person...a best friend and worse enemy...love life but not afraid of death...to put me in simple words ...well you can't, TRADITIONAL TO THE CORE BUT THE MOST UNTRADITIONAL PERSON YOU HAVE MET...what can I say simply marvelous...with a twist ; )

So I went ahead and asked the lady …..i was telling myself why she didn’t use the word LIBERAL ..WHY UNTRADITIONAL!!!

ArabLady said...
my first time here and inshalla not the last but got a Q 4 u plz if u dont mindwut is da difference bwt untraditional & liberal....just had a look @ ur profile and the word "untraditional"caught my attention
3:38 AM

Tamara said...
Arab lady – welcome to my coroner and I'm glad you are planning to make many more visits : D Mi casa es su casa As for untraditional Vs Liberal, liberal usually refers to not abiding by social or religious guidelines, untraditional in my opinion and what I was referring to is that I'm not like every one else, I dare to question norms and traditions well every thing for that matter, not disrespect them just question and I only follow what I'm convinced in and follow only the true rule of Islam. And well my untraditionally shows in other aspects, if you follow my writings you will see manifestations of that ( this is called blog promotion ; ) )
4:09 AM

Tamara hope u r not bothered by what I posted.....hope I answered u shady!!

After all we are not supposed to be alike in this world! Are we?

Sorry but I liked to clarify this point…..hope its clear now…….

I don’t belong to anybody, anyplace…….i belong 2 myself…kinda weird, eh!


When dreams die out……happiness is gone

My dreams are falling apart
I have no clue from where to start or even how

I miss the old soul that used to inhabit my body ........
I miss the ambitious active girl with rosy dreams .......
The girl who wanna touch the sky.......

I discovered that dreams destroyed my life ........
I don’t want to dream anymore…..
I want my feet to be on the ground……my dreams destroyed me mentally and ruined my relationships with the people surrounding me

I lost the motives ........
I lost the desire .........
I lost the willingness .......
I lost my soul three years ago ..........

I want the old me….i wanna her to come back….plz come back !!

Maybe she is happier somewhere there leaving me alone grieving my deep wounds……

I can’t find happiness….what is happiness….i just wanna break the cuffs and fly away searching for my lost spirit......
The question is

is it going 2 come back.....

26 August, 2006

What happens if an insect falls in a cup of coffee

The British: will throw the cup into the street and leave the coffeeshop for good.

The American: will get the insect out and drink thecoffee.The Chinese: will eat the insect and drink the coffee.

The Israeli will:
1) Sell the coffee to the American and the insect to the Chinese.

2) Cry on all media channels that he feels insecure.

3) Accuse the Palestinians, Hizb Allah, Syria and Iran ofusing germ-weapons.

4) Keep on crying about anti-semitism and violations of human rights.

5) Ask the Palestinian President to stop planting insectsin the cups of coffee.

6) Re-occupy the West Bank, Gaza Strip.

7) Demolish houses, confiscate lands, cut water andelectrity from Palestinian houses and randomly shootPalestinians.

8) Ask the United States for urgent military support and a loan of one million dollars in order to buy a new cup of coffee.

9) Ask the United Nations to punish the coffee-shopowner by making him offer free coffee to him till the end of thecentury.

10) Last but not least, accuse the whole world to be standing still, not even sympathizing with the Israeli Nation.

25 August, 2006

Somehow true!!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

23 August, 2006

Single Arab women living alone? Yup, WHY NOT?

Personally I see no harm in single women living alone in separate apartments even if they have families living in the same country……

To me living alone means:

And a separate identity away from dady’s and momy’s supervision and interference!!!

Life has no meaning when u r still living under ur family’s control even if u work and earn money….getting a sense of independence and being in charge of running your own house will enrich your life experience and will raise ur self esteem as a mature and independent woman who has equal rights and responsibility as men’s.

This idea is awkward in our conservative societies and impossible in most of the situations !!Both religion and culture are over-protective when it comes to anything related to women in a way that sickens me. So once you open your eyes u find a long list of taboo things waiting for u just becoz u r a woman!! Damn it!!!

To them, being a woman means that u must follow but not lead & must let others think, decide, and act for you coz they KNOW BETTER……..

Women are physically weak, mentally shallow-minded, and might get hurt becoz of men’s intentions so you must stay under your brother’s, husbands, or father’s control to PROTECT US!!!

I fed up of this crap and any woman must grab any chance to break the closed circle to free herself……

Why men can leave their family house and be independent while women can’t?

I’m waiting for an answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uffff…….i can’t wait for the day when I have my own apartment ALONE!!!!

19 August, 2006

Comments with regard to the last post

+wow…mmm ok first of all I m really happy that every one of u shared his/her
opinion, experience, or thought on this important topic…I guess I should allot more time 4 discussing the subject in my future posts….

Just to make things clear the type of dating that I talked about which I agree with meant to:

be serious not for fun

between adults and mature ppl who know what they are doing and know WHY they r dating

SO its customized to take both culture and religion into account….

I didn’t talk about dating in a night club

Or in a bar

Or a guy who threw his number when passing by a beautiful girl in a shopping mall!!!!!

+ I can list a zillion exp about marriages failed coz the couple knew nothing about each other !! and I can list a zillion exp about situations when the parents asked about the groom's reputation but ppl never know the other side of u ,,,their daughters were beaten and humiliated by the guy whose friends and relatives said he is decent!

In a nut shell thx 4 contributing and look forward to continuing this topic,,,unfortunately there will be no more posts…….i'll leave on vacation plus there is something worng with my laptop
:(((((((((((((...so good that i had the chance to write at least a reply 2 ur beautiful and interesting thoughts

Enjoy the summer…………

+ VERY Quick reply to:

adel: thx plz share with us ur dating stories
I need days just to reply to u man…first of all know that I respect ur opinion and appreciate your strong Iman and would like to get ur e-mail so I can write to u if u don’t mind..
…and feel free to comment on this blog .. some ppl might get convinced or have questions for u …anyhow why should u be surprised?
Having rebellious thought doesn’t mean that I don’t feel for my ppl any where in this world whether they are Arabs or not….

3anooda: give me a biiig hug ;)

Dozz: unfortunately I know ppl, most of the arab girls, who get married 4 "the heck of it" esp when the girl hits 25…sometime I don’t blame them as our culture never feel mercy 4 spinsters or divorced….ppl have creativity when it comes to torturing them mentally and emotionally!!!

Summer:no0thing is taboo in my dictionary but was busy with what is happening in Lebanon….so don’t be shocked to c more of this "taboo" topics esp about women's rights in this part of the world….welcome to the rebellious part of me ;)

babe_uae : dear I must say that u r so lucky (Mashallah) that u have met an open-minded local guy, so rarely 2 find such ppl, who doesn’t wait 4 his mamy and dady 2 choose his woman…usually wut local guys do is marrying at least 2 …1 local woman to save his social face in front of his ppl and rest (3) r of his choice!!!

The Rendezvous: Totally agree with u but like to know why things didn’t work with u so far ….would appreaciate if u could share with us some of ur stories and conclusions ;)
Haidar: Well said!

MISE mmm I donnu..i agree with u partially… its not religions that are double-standard but you men of course the majority not all of them..but with regard to religion we should either accept it as a system for our whole life or I duuno wut..but believe me religions never prohibit something for no reason!!

Al-Hajeji & 7ala thx 4 passing by
And I'm not emaratiiii but I live in UAE

15 August, 2006

Are you with or against dating?!?!

To me dating doesn’t necessarily mean making love…

Personally I do agree with dating especially if you are in the process of searching for “THE ONE”. I’m totally against the arranged or traditional marriage. Frankly it’s like buying watermelon its either red or green (metel el batikha ya 7amra ya ar3aa) most importantly I do have the right to pick & choose the man I like....the man I want not what my parents want!

I can’t imagine myself facing a man I don’t know for the rest of life. Oh God it would be the greatest punishment my mom would wish for me….at least I need a year or so to study his personality, mentality, and he must be a great supporter for THE ARAB WOMEN’S RIGHTS!!!! (which I will never find in SOME Arab men)

On the top of all that, it’s vital to know whether you and your soul mate share the same political, religious, social, and personal VALUES…you might say it’s ok & normal to have different opinions BUT I do say that it’s neither ok nor normal to have conflicts over CORE VALUES….unless he is tooooooooo understanding which I doubt finding such a trait in MANY Arab male…..

I agree that dating has many disadvantages especially when you start comparing between you ex- boy friend and you fiancé/ husband.

For example:

Ur ex-b/f used to call you babe, honey, hayati, 7abibty in every and each minute but ur fiancé doesn’t!!!

Ur ex-b/f used to open the door 4 u brfore u get in the car, kiss ur hand when u say bye, and pull the chair 4 u when u go to drink a cup of coffee but ur fiancé doesn’t!!!
(It’s so frustrating I know…very frustrating indeed)

I’m with dating but with limits meaning that:
-Both should be mature enough to have a serious commitment and long term relationship that will/might end up with marriage.

-No sex before marriage ( kisses r ok though…lol)
Believe me 95% of the Arab guys don’ think of getting married to girls they dated & 100% of the Arab guys don’t ever marry girls they had sex with….

I feel sorry for our societies who still disrespect the girl who dates accusing her of dragging her family name in the mud in time the guy can get away with whatever he does!

Is it fair!! I don’t think so……….

13 August, 2006

Do they really deserve wut they go thro ?????

I’m really so upset to see such pictures… (got them from http://moithinkingoutloud.blogspot.com/and though of spreading them so the whole world would c the Israeli civilization built on blood)
They killed childhood in millions of innocent angles…I dunno know what to say..i get mad whenever I read comments or posts about Arabs who feel sorry for victims from both sides!!! WHY BOTH SIDES!!!

Why do I have to feel sorry for Israelis? They kill our Arab kids with cold blood and committed war crimes against humanity and totally destroyed two countries!!! LET THEM BURN!!!

More than 250,000 immigrated outside Lebanon….!!! Regardless of those who lost their houses and wut they own…

Mirvate escaped from Lebanon to Jordan..last week I talked to her she is fine and is waiting 4 the war to end so she can go back to Lebanon…her house was destroyed!!! I’m proud of her as she says what has been destroyed is worthless versus what Hezballah sacrifices to resist the invaders……..

Lina’s house is destroyed as well…she is now in Canada but says they never felt sorry 4 their house as they see victims fall everyday……

Today I messaged Rama ….i was worried about her as haven’t heard of her for a week or so…7amdilaa she is fine too and left her house and moved to her Uncle’s house coz its safer there…

May God bless them all

I’m really in a shock…I’d like to tell the Arabs esp the Lebanese bloggers to save their sympathy 4 their people !!!! Palestinians have been slaughtered for 58 yrs and no body did anything !! I will never feel sorry for killers and Nazis……I want them to suffer every hour…every minute….every second…to feel the pain the Palestinians and Lebanese feel…to lose all their beloved ones to see how it hurts to c the ppl u love die!!!

I ask u God to save the resistance in Lebanon and Palestine….ya Allah Give them ur strength and support…..Bless them ALL….

Feelings of being useless and inactive to wut is happening around me kill me…I dunno wut to do…I hate politics as I stopped watching news…dont wana c any more pics …I dunno waanaa c dead bodies….i want this nightmare to end…….plz enough!!

12 August, 2006

05 August, 2006