Welcome To My Rebellious Kingdom

2010-09-12T01:15:00.003+04:00

My blog's 5th Anniversary

Five years have passed so fast. I remember how often I used to blog releasing all the negative energy & thoughts I had, condemning what used to suffocate me from religions, cultural constraints….

I remember how writing used to set me free…I had the courage to write what I couldn’t say ….When I go back to my old posts back, I really laugh! I even cant recall what exactly used to trigger all the sadness I had….

5 years passed, probably im more mature now… Less rebellious, with more to understanding of the cultural burden we inherited from our "beloved" ancestors…I discovered that deep inside I'm the most traditional female you could ever meet yet I have a "rational modern twist" ….I'm against dating yet against arranged marriage...Against prostitution & bitching yet against covering women from head to toe

Most importantly, i'm so very thankful to God who let me appreciate family values & relationships before its too late..

This spot will always have a special place in my heart ….its the private zone documenting intimate moments with myself

2010-08-31T00:56:00.002+04:00

She thinks I would steal her boyfriend!!!

One of the reasons I don’t believe in true friendship between girls is the unbearable rages of jealousy among chicks.

Lately, I had enough from my friend's intolerable jealousy. She trurly thinks I would steal him from her!!! She keeps teasing me as if I care how often he calls her up, shows up, 7abiby said this & that…things getting so discusting esp when she describes in detail heir sexual relation & how happy they are when being together!!

She never misses a chance to TEASE ME DELIBERATELY & ON PURPOSE !! It makes me feel sick!

She used to CRY & FIGHT with her boyfriend when he mentions my name! last time she has gone crazy when he brought me a gift when came back from his vacation. I remember her crying saying why the hell he bring us the same gifts! i told her taaaaaaaaaake it I REALLY DONT WANT IT. . She refuses to exchange numbers with him! She even has gone too far by telling him that I got engaged & I'm about to get married SOON!!!

I wish if I could scream in her face & TELL HER I would never feel jealous of her & that I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR SICK MENTALITY & UR BOYFRIEND. GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!

Not only bad luck with the opposite sex but also with the SAME sex :(

قاضي سعودي: تعيين لمى السليمان نائبة لرئيس "التجارة" جارح للمشاعر - Culture & Society - ArabianBusiness.com

2010-02-05T11:16:00.000+04:00

قاضي سعودي: تعيين لمى السليمان نائبة لرئيس "التجارة" جارح للمشاعر - Culture & Society - ArabianBusiness.com

2010-01-01T16:53:00.001+04:00

New Year Resolution List

Keep my job & focus on my career
Pay my loan & Keep my car
Save some money & cut down on unnecessary expenses
Stay healthy. Stay fit. Cut out the junk food.stop the emotional eating habit
Be positive, optimistic, happy, self confident, fresh
Read more
Socialize more
Learn new stuff
Forget the past & its memories
Exercise twice a week
Beat depression & boredom
Maintain & achieve the above-mentioned!!!

2010-01-01T16:05:00.002+04:00

Here is what I was about to post yesterday before reading a very inspiring article…..

Was 2009 any good?

I have been reviewing the old posts written in Decembers 06 07 08 …i was searching for either a sparkle of optimism or happiness….unfortunately I couldn’t find any…

I was searching for any old resolution list so I can copy & past it signifying no remarkable achievements when it comes to my poor list!!….yes poor list…I lost the spirit which adores challenges …..

For me 2009 was one of the painful years ever….

Many cheated on me
Many deceived me
Many betrayed my trust
Many used my honesty
Many were mean to me

2009 was a year full of financial & emotional disappointments…I can remember the tears more than the laughs….career wise, its still the worst year ever….am I still suffering from mood swings? Yes I'm

I was brave enough to buy an astrology book for 2010 for Maguy Farah. I had some hope to boast my motivation for the new year but seems the starts & planets have a different plan! After reading the book I determined to stay at home predicting a stormy year!

……………………………I decided to drop the negative attitude thus i didn’t continue what I intended to write......

And
Here is what I had in mind after reading the article:

we can make our destinations…we can change…we can influence…we can make our happiness….

I wont fall a prisoner for my past …my pain
I can come over all the obstacles & start once again
Reading a good piece of article can always enlighten your vision & take u to a wider perspective that yours ….I'm planing to write all wut i didnt like in 2009 in a sheet of paper and then burn it!!!!!I'll try how it feeeeels to get rid of any sad memories...Why dont you try it too!?

anyways Hope 2010 would bring with it happiness, health, & peace & most importantly LOVE

Happy New Year

2009-12-28T23:16:00.004+04:00

After a very strong emotional shock, here I'm still alive & breathing

I have heard about bastards' stories in life but I couldn’t imagine that I could fall a victim of any one of them. Despite being very protective serious & challenging, he managed to fool me & fool my family.

Im still wondering if he got paid to do wut he did. Or it was a dare? Wallahi it could be. My brain couldn’t stop thinking…I'm suffering from sleep disorder & my eye blood pressure hurts me like hell.

My heart is really broken. I don’t deserve to experience the horrible trap I've fallen in. The worst part I still couldn’t comprehend the MOTIVES behind his movie. Fake name, fake nationality, fake profession, fake details!!!! Every thing is fake… months, hours, minutes, seconds were full of lies. His family was fake, his residence was fake!!! His romance & love were fake!! It was a very dirty game with a well-planned scenario. No body could ever play such an illusional personality unless he has something in mind.

I can no longer trust people… I can no longer trust men

Fear & insecurity conquered my body & soul…waiting for a new sunrise to uncover my sadness…asking God to strengthen my patience & bless me with Oblivion

Still much more to learn the ward way …..will I ever see the light at the end of the tunnel ? will I ever unfold this page?

2009-12-27T09:21:00.003+04:00

لازم اساعد نفسي كرمال اطلع من الحالة يالي انا فيها .... لازم اوقف تفكير بالموضوع و اتخطاه.. الحياه مدرسة و دروس و ياما رح اشوف وحوش ادمية و ناس مريضة اكتر من هيك.... لازم انسى هاي التجربة لازم انسى

انا رح افتح صحفة جديدية بحياتي لازم افتح صفحة جديدة

لازم انسى و الايام كفيلة تناسيني يالي صار

ما في حدن بيستاهل ادمر حياتي و مستقبلي عشانو

الحمدلله يالي انكشف الموضوع من بكير .... الحمدلله .... قدر الله و ماشاء فعل .... انا لازم اكون قوية و ارجع لحياتي الطبيعية ....حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل حسبنا الله و نعم الوكيل

لازم انسى انا رح انسى الموضوع انا لازم انسى انا لاون انسى انا رح انسى

انا بكرهو انا بكرهو انا رح انسى انا قوية انا مش رح اضعف انا قوية و مش رح اسمح لحالي اضعف

انا ما رح استسلم الضربة يالي ما تكسر بتقوي انا لازم اتعلم من هاي التجربة

انا رح اطلع من يالي انا فيه .... انا قوية و لازم افتح طاقة أمل جديدة.... الحمدلله رب العالمين على كل الشيء... انا رح انسى انا ما رح دمر حياتي

انا لازم اوقف على رجلي كم جديد ... انا لازم اوقف على رجلي من جديد .... الحياه رح تستمر الحياه رح تكمل انا ما رح اكتئب انا رح اطلع من يالي انا فيه ... يا رب ساعدني يا رب ساعدني يارب وقف جنبي

انا قوية و لازم اطلع من التجربة باقل الخسائر الممكنة ...انا ما رح انكسر كرمال انسان حقيييير و ما عندو دين ... ما في حدن بيستاهل دموعي... انا لازم اكرهو ... انا بكرهو و الله رح ياخد حقي منو

انا قوية و لازم اتخطى التجربة .... اتعلمت درووووس كتييييرة

انا رح انسى انا قوية انا لازم ارجع لوضعي الطبيعي انا رح اتخطى الازمة انا مؤمنة بنفسي انا مؤمنة بنفسي

Please ignore the above mention shit coz its part of the way i heal my pain

UAE Torture Tape Released!

2009-04-28T08:54:00.002+04:00

“He fires guns at him, inserts a cattle prod in his anus, sets fire to his testicles and runs him over”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m in a shocking state & words run out as I cant imagine what I have seen. I’m more convinced that it’s the end of humanity!

Warning: if you cant tolerate watching such footage, PLZ DONT

Watch this horrible tape featuring a member of Abu Dhabi royal house torturing Afghani Merchant.

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=7401720 http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=7401720 http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=7401720

Read this article written in the Guardian

No comment!!Mercy Mercy Mercy on Earth ya Allahhhhhhhhhhhh

Abu Dhabi court sentences parents to 10 years in jail for child abuse

2009-04-27T08:33:00.002+04:00

Abu Dhabi: The father and stepmother of a nine-year-old girl have been sentenced to 10 years in jail for torturing the child.

The Abu Dhabi Criminal Court also ordered the parents to jointly pay Dh160,000 in compensation to the youngster, Naouf, who will be offered the maximum levels of physical and psychological care and rehabilitation to help her overcome the effects of her ordeal, according to officials.

The criminal court earlier heard the case of the girl who suffered horrific injuries. The paternal grandmother and uncles of the victim - who is being treated for burns, knife cuts and bruises over her body at Al Mafraq Hospital, gave statements against the father.
The grandmother told the court the youngster had been tortured at the hands of her father and stepmother.

More details can be found here!

Armenian Genocide

2009-04-25T15:27:00.009+04:00

Its estimated that around 1.5 ppl were killed during the Armenian Genocide

Torturing Gays in Iraq

2009-04-21T10:27:00.003+04:00

I’m not here to defend gays but I’m writing this post to express my disgust of those who appoint them selves as Gods on Earth to spread morality & cleanse people’s sins in the most cruel, inhumane, & barbaric way.

For Arabic speakers, you can check out this. Gays in Iraq are getting kidnapped, severely Tortured,& then shot by religious Militia in Iraq, more specifically by Shiite. Such Iraqi militia gets creative in using horrible beyond the description tools & way that let their victims suffer before death!

It has been reported that they use very strong “ Iranian Glue” to close their butts!! After letting them drink things causing diarrhea & they watch them dying slowly in pain!! They are just teenagers! Human
beings are turning into monsters! Do you think this would be the right way?? Torture & execution are the solutions to fix the world?

I hereby ask: who the hell are you to interfere with people’s religious convections & sexual orientations!!! Why we r still far away from realizing that we NEED FREEDOM in this part of the world. FREEDOM & PEACE!

I think Iraq was much better during Sadam’s era!

To my blog with apology!

2009-04-15T15:43:00.002+04:00

I feel sympathy towards this blog. It tolerated a lot & has been my window when being depressed or upset. Actually I used blogging mainly as a modern therapeutic methodology when feeling irritated!!! Without doubt, that consequently reflected a certain image of me being so desperate in life! I cant deny that I come across tough moments when I feel myself week, vulnerable, & pessimistic.

This blog witnessed various stages of my life & drastic transitions in my thinking about the world. I hereby express my thanks along with apologies to this webpage!

I would never delete this blog! One day I might go through what I have written & just laugh (I’m doing that already!!)
I really miss my old fellow bloggers who either quit or just disappeared. Have not heard from them since ages. I’m also blamed for being inactive in networking in the blogsphere. Here is some of them:

Abu Faris (Syria),AL Baal Big Fat Ego CF (UAE) Dana (Jordan) DG (UAE) Digital Niqabi (US) Dina (UAE) Eshda3wa (Kuwait) Eva Feras (Jordan) Fouad (UAE) Gardinia (Syria) Hanan (UAE) Jawahir (Oman) John Ford Khaled (Jordan) Local Expat (UAE) Lost & Confused (Oman) Maryam MD (UAE) Mothings Nash (Oman) Out of Me Sabra (Canada) Samer (US) Stained (UAE) Summer (US)

And many many more…….

I’m determined to either revamp the blog inside out or just quit blogging.

April resolution would be a life time resolution hoping to look at life in an optimistic way, to embrace wut Allah has given me, love things/ppl the way they are, accept reality, & seek positive changes in attitude, mentality, & way of life….

I’m looking for a new beginning….. a bright start indeed …today I’m opening a new window
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step & I started with changing the blog color.

Would this feeling last??? I hope so

I Need UR Recommendations!

2009-04-12T10:58:00.002+04:00

I’m heading to the bookstore today evening

Would love to hear some suggestions on some good tiles.

My mind is in need of something to read. psychology, personal development, diary, business, spiritual topics. Women’s rights, or poetry, all would be fine. I guess I’m in the mood to read something related to psychology esp mood swings & personality disorders! Or most probably something on self-esteem & positive attitude. anything informative & enjoyable !

Any recommendations!??!!!!!!???

2009-03-28T11:38:00.002+04:00

I’m very depressed as usual. I am thinking of finding a good psychiatrist in town before its too late. I have been suffering from severe sadness for years & I wish if I could put an end to this nightmare

Hehe Tomorrow I’m going on a blind date !!! LOL

2009-03-10T12:14:00.002+04:00

Following the tremendous failure encountered last week meeting a “horrible 3ares” (yuk i dont want to remember), i decided to go wild!!!

Khalasssssssss I totally gave up on the idea of finding a perfect match or Mr. Right :( so I made up my mind & concluded that waiting for ever is not an option at all.

I’m having a blind date tomorrooooooooooooooooow whohoooooooo…well I don’t know if I can call it a DATE but my friend has been deseperately trying to arrange a couple outings with the friend of her boy friend lol sounds complicated huh?4 of us will hang out & lets see what will happen

If by any chance the situation ended up like the cartoon above I would be still fineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ...hope so lol .By the way shall I buy a souvenir or wut :P? and if yes, what shall i buy?

Anyways, today I’ll go shopping & then definitely will go to the saloon to get my nails done :D

I’ll try to ENJOY! Will keep me updated!

Salamzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Happy International Women’s Day!

2009-03-09T10:18:00.004+04:00

8th March

For every woman out there, I say Happy International Women’s Day!
Continue what you have started & if u haven’t started yet START NOW
Continue your love, contribution, progress, persistence, & most importantly stand up for your rights

With Love,
Arab Lady

Anazer (another) Blab Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

2009-02-17T09:43:00.003+04:00

shatoora ana ana i took this photo

Since I’m damn bored now waiting for the clock to tick 5:30 PM announcing officially that it’s the end of the daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay….just for your information its still 9:45 AM……..way too early to start counting …….right : (

I’m the type of ppl who gets BORED QUICKLY ……So tell me how was your Valentine? Any good news? Mine sucked & was preceded with severe depression. This valentine passed by without having a date nor a fiancé : (
Too bad huh…somehow my friends managed to convince me to go & hang out….currently I’m not into heavy makeup but booked an appointment & had my make up done by a makeup stylist taba3an in attempt to lift my spirits up!! I wore black in black ! actually I wore one of the shortest skirts I have! I looooooooooove short skirts!!

Anyways, yesterday I stumbled over E while hanging out at Mall of the Emirates. I haven’t seen him since March 2007! He came back to dubai recently but never managed to catch up with each other…..

Anyways

The boyfriend of my Best Friend is driving her crazy ….yesterday we were negotiating about her plans to cheat on him!!! (7aki niswan)Well I advised her to give him some time to fix the situation & if things didn’t get any better GO AHEAD BABE & DATE someone else!!! Hehe what a bad friend … her b/f brought me on my birthday beautiful roses & a gigantic pinky bear whose head couldn’t pass through my room door!! Actually I told her don’t expect men to remain the same creatures the first day u met them! They do change A LOT once they figure out u r in love with them……….
L is getting married in May! Ya rab ya rab plzz plzz I wanna loooooooooooooooooose weight before her wedding ceremony!! Any ideas for lovely useful gifts that would draw a smile on the face of one of the most beautiful brides ever.

By the way I’m still bored…lol
ANYWAY I think I will write another post to kill time as I don’t feel like doing anything…

Blabblaaaah...another day

2009-01-26T15:02:00.004+04:00

I am so delighted to see my starvation plan working perfectly fine & beyond my expectation. Its almost the 9th day if I’m not mistaken. The resolution is like no chocolate, no coke, no fast food, no fattening stuff, no tea with milk along with drinking a lot of water, almost two litters per day!

Lately I have been so upset about my body & the way I look …I just want my sexy body back. I tried zillions of things....fitness centers, fat burning, appetite reducers but nothing worked since I lacked the determination & will…..food along with infrequent blogging were the only ways I used to manifest & express my depression & emotional status….

Hope I would be able to continue what I have started…. I have too….do I have another option?….for a change I’m thinking of changing my hair style & geting my eyebrow reshaped…looking for a tattoo artist too? If you know someone professional in dubai plz let me know..
I haven’t changed my hair color in 6 months …do you imagine! I just had some highlight three months ago …Actually I have tried various colors blond, red, & black ….now I’m looking for a new color…probably i might wait for another six months until I finish my masters ….finishing my degree would signal the start of a new chapter in my life so changing my look would be a must then!

Today I talked with my sister …I don’t know what to say but she sounded frustrated & said she doenst want to have anything to do with this family anymore! She had enough of listening to our problems….

I wish if you could know how much I love you my beloved sister ….sometimes I feel I love her more than my mother …she is my supporting back…I could never imagine my life without her ….she never let me down….was by my side since ever….i just love u more than anything in life…

Daaaaaaaah I’m sick of myself being tooooo emotional ………isn’t the right time to toughen my heart & get over my weaknesses

A good question!

I got to start studying ….

2009-01-22T13:23:00.002+04:00

This semester I got some heavy subjects & honestly im afraid to screw up in Retail marketing Management!
I have got two projects & plenty of assignments for this damn course as if we are not full time employeeeeeeeeeees! For god’s sake we are not working for the government sector!! We are not that spoiled …..
Whats the hell! are we studying at Harvard….
For the individual project onlyyy, he wants secondary data, 5 interviews with retailers & 6 observational Examples! Get a life!! Who would have the time to do all of that!!

I feel sorry for my money wasted in doing my masters here….i could have studied at AUC or AUD without the imaginary figure we pay each semester….6 months & 9 days to go …..lately I have been nagging , whining, complaining a lot …right?
: )

I won't wish my self a peaceful weekend this time…an average one would be ok !!

Peace

If your religion does not change you, change your religion

2009-01-21T12:46:00.003+04:00

**** If your religion does not change you, change your religion****

An inspiring quote I came across yesterday….its by Elbert Hubbard..
I have been thinking a lot about this sentence ….my sister threw some comments last night when she said you are not in need of us…nor do we …but remember that one day you will be asked about your deeds!!

Shall women compromise in the name of religion?
Shall I surrender submit ….accept the current situation & tolerate more shit because allah will punish me if I wanna go against the current flow!!! So surprising that she wants me to experience what she has gone through! Advocates of misery!

I’m just asking when can religion become a burden on Mankind!! So would you change your religion if it didn’t change you!

My Life in a boooook

2009-01-20T17:44:00.003+04:00

Today while I’m heading to office I had the idea of turning my blog into a diary published to the public…the only difference would be sharing my thoughts on every thing ...its not an experience of not being a thinker, scientist, politician but an Arab female living in a Muslim conservative male dominated cultures….

I don’t know if my life details & the obstacles I faced & I’m still facing would inspire young ladies out there….i reached to a point that I cant compromise anymore….some people accuse me of being too ambiguous …they cant understand that I’m tired of hiding many things I kept secret for years…

i have been restricted to practice my rights just becoz of gender issues….i have missed out on lots of opportunities & chances that could have pushed me steps forward….

Sometimes I wish if I could write about every thing & anything on this webpage without being afraid of revealing my identity or discovering who I’m ……….

No one on earth knows that I have been sexually harassed in my childhood ..one of the incidents was by close ppl..i wish if I could know mom’s reaction when she discovers who tried to sexually molest me when I was 6 years old…..

I would also tell my story with Hija which i put it on for a certain time ....then I couldn’t tolerate it anymore…being a non-hejabi now put me under the criticism zone for ever…I have got many things to say to the world…most importantly to the fucking culture….

i will really work hard to make this idea come true … even if I couldn’t change my life…my experience would change the life of many young ambitious ladies ….i wont reveal my identity as it will always remain Arab Lady …i really hope to accomplish this dream by the end of 2009….i will just write it publish it & distribute it FOR FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ضقنا ذرعا منك يا "دول الاعتدال"

2009-01-17T15:12:00.003+04:00

المؤامرة العربية لاغتيال المقاومة....يا أيها الخائنون لأوطانكم

دور الدول العربية تجاه القضية الفلسطينية بات مفضوووووح و أصبح "العبيط" قبل العاقل يفطن ان تأخر الدول العربية "المعتدلة" في أخذ موقف يشرف شعوبها ما هو إلا لاعطاء اسرائيل المزيد من الوقت لإنهاء و تصفية المقاومة في الأراضي المحتلة

شي مخزي او بالأحرى مقزز" لرئيس دولة" منتهية صلاحيته ان يتقاعس عن حضور قمة قد عقدت لانقاذ شعبه!!!! تعرض" لضغوط" ؟ أي ضغوط هذه ؟
انا اسأل عباس الآن: لأجندة من أنت تعمل؟
موقف مشرف لدولة قطر أن تدعو قادة الفصائل الفلسطينية المقاومة! هم ممثلين الشعب و هم المتحدثين الرسميين عن شعب غدرته أجندات السلطة الفلسطينية و أجندات "الدول العربية المعتدلة"

"الدولة العربية الكبرى" تتبجح بدورها و تضحياتها و الخمس الحروب التي خاضتها من أجل الفلسطينيين و كان النظام الحاكم الحالي هو من كان صاحب القرار بتأدية واجب ديني و قومي و نضالي!!

زمن الشرفاء انتهى و أطالب كل فلسطيني بكف مناجاة " الدولة العربية الكبرى" لفتح المعابر فقد باعت فتح و السلطة القضية فلماذا نحمل "الدول المعتدلة" مسؤوليات قومية في حين هي نفسها لا تستطيع تأدية واجباتها تجاه شعوبها!

أنا نفسي افهم ماهو مبدأ المواطنة و حقوق المواطن لدى العرب في حين الحكومة في وادي و الشعب في واد!!!
لماذا يخضع المواطن لاجندة الحكومة الغير شعبية في حين المطلوب ان تمثل الحكومات شعوبها!!

أنا أطالب كل فلسطيني و عربي و كل انسان شريف بان يحمي و يدافع عن حق النضال المسلح ضد الاحتلال و عدم الانجراف وراء تراهات أناس باعوا انفسهم قبل ان يبيعوا القضية...

أطالب أهل الضفة بموقف وطني و أطالب حركة فتح بالاختفاااااااااااء عن الخريطة السياسية لان مشوارها المليء بالفضائح و الفساد السياسي و الاداري الذي أساء لوحدة الشعب الفلسطيني و رسخ الانقسام و غدر بالمقاومة و تآمر على شعب غزة... يا أهل الضفة فيييييييئوا فيييييئوا بنعاتب العربي و نسينا اهل البلد!!!!

انا أطالب أهل غزة برفض المعونات الاغاثية المرسلة من قبل "الدول المعتدلة" !! شعب حر شريف لا يقبل مال ملطخ بدم اطفال و دم غدر...

يا تجار الأرض....يا تجار سلام الشجعان....يا تجار الدولار و الدينار....
اخرجوا من أرضنا ... من برنا ....من بحرنا....من قمحنا ... من ملحنا.... من جرحنا.... من كل شيء ، و اخرجوا من مفردات الذاكرة

The Bitter Taste of Betrayal…Another Chapter …

2009-01-17T11:05:00.005+04:00

I was strongly mistaken when I wished my self a peaceful weekend.
On the contrary it was a very depressing, heartbreaking weekend embroidered with bloody news…

Before switching off my car engine & before the minute I stepped into our house.. my brother bombarded me with some bad news

3rifti sho sar be beet khali?? (Did you know what happened to my uncle’s house?)
I was like shit what….
It got hit by the Iseali Army

I was frozen for a minute trying to imagine what happened to Mart Khali, her daughters in law, the kids….and everybody

A five floor building located next to UNWRA office collapsed….
2 kids got injured & the family escaped searching for a safe shelter …THX GOD ejat 3a 2ad heek!However, the worst part resembles in having 3 missing cousins

Probably I have mentioned before that Khali (mom’s bro) came from Gaza a month ago on a visit to UAE…How the hell you wana inform Khali who god knows how many health problems he suffers from…diabetes, blood pressure, & heart problems, I can go on & on
We haven’t informed Mom & khali on Thursday but as u know bad news spread fast….I couldn’t help but cry …I truly panicked ….ur blood boils when u see them being killed for no reason but when u see some beloved ppl in pain & horror you cry your heart out

Mom’s relatives now are dispersed ….she doesn’t know where some of her nieces & nephews have gone…they fled their homes & went to unknown places….my two aunts are fine but they are about to lose their mind from what they see….

The worst part comes on Friday Morning when I woke up on hearing mom crying for her niece who got killed with her husband & three kids ….a missile was shot on their car while heading to the hospital!! I couldn’t imagine how her sisters feel now! They lost their mother two years back & now they lost their sister…yalla allah ..please some mercy!

May they rest in eternal peace along with those who lost their souls & those who are still falling while we do nothing…we watch them getting slaughtered

Bent khali (my cousin) who lives in UAE has lost connection with her sister too ….the last call was when she heard her screaming “they hit our home & my daughter was home”…Thank God her 3- year- old daughter didn’t get hurt but the whole building collapsed when Israel hit the house of Saeed Siyam, one of Hammas Leaders …she had her daughter after more than 12 years! What about who lose their kids in dozens….entire families have been abolished.? Who will hear their screams….

I’m wearing black until this Umah wakes up & betrayer get their punishment…

Turned Twenty-Something

2009-01-15T12:53:00.003+04:00

Somebody turned twenty-something few days back! I’m getting older & hopefully getting mature & wise as well!! duh

Well well well I’m officially labeled a “spinster now” : ) who cares anyways….i wish if things could have been better on all stages ( money, education, career, & most importantly love)!!

Got to loooooooooooooooooose weight…a sentence that I have been repeating it since ages! I need to get a liposuction then go hunt for a man ! lol

I’m wishng myself & everybody a peaceful weekend!

Cheers!!!

Shall History Forgive Us!

2009-01-11T10:03:00.023+04:00

I feel helpless in the light of what is going in Palestine. The holocaust is still going on & the international community is helpless too. Hundreds of thousands Protested worldwide to condemn the barbaric cruel war but the screams fall on deaf ears!!!

No honorable political action has been taken so far by our governments. Donations & condemnation are useless too. Unless the economical card is used, war crimes in gaza will not be stopped.

What a memorable day in history when the president of Venezuela kicked out the Israeli ambassador to protest against the country's assault on Gaza!I believe arabs everywhere have the same expectations of Egypt, Jordan, Qatar, & Mauritania !

A group of Egyptian lawyers has recently succeeded in forcing Egyptian court to Overrule
a controversial 20-year deal on gas exports to Israel.Egypt loses $9m for each day that Cairo upholds the fixed-price agreement with Israel!So why Egypt is still supplying Nazis, oppps I mean their beloved peace partners, with gas although it goes against its national interest!

I still believe we, arabs, can do much better on the streets & via boycotting …through showing reality to others who have been brainwashed by their biased media….

I wish if I could have time to start a professional documentary website on the history of Palestine illustrating original maps & documents proving that this country has been suffering from ethical cleansing wars for the past 6 decades in a trial to abolish the native inhabitants….its a must project on my list! But serious efforts shall be joined to let this project see the light. meanwhile I hope that this simple slides pulled together by me in my free time could help reflect the tragedy of an occupied nation….

At this moment I proudly announce being anti-peace talks …pro Palestinian, pro-Hamas, pro-military resistance , anti-fatih ….! Full stop!!

اختلط الحابل بالنابل

2009-01-09T12:06:00.008+04:00

بعد جولة سريعة لبعض المدونات العربية اتضح لي ان كفة ميزان المحتل النازي اضحت متساوية مع كفة المقاوم عند الاخوة العرب!

أصبح المقاوم "مجرد ارهابي مغطى بكيس اسود بفتحتين
شعور بالحسرة المؤلمة ان تنقسم الشعوب العربية بين شاجب و مؤيد لحق المقاومة المسلحة و كانه أمر غير مشروع! و متى كان يعاب على الشعوب كفاحها. و هل المطلوب الآن من الشعب الفلسطيني الرضوخ لانظمة لها أجندة مغايرة للأجندة شعوبها.

ماذا فعلت المقاومة الاسلامية في فلسطين لتنال سيل من الخناجر و ينعت شبابها المقاومين بالمتعصبين و المتشددين! هل تغير مفهوم المقاومة عبر العصور ام تغيرنا نحن!

هل أصبح حق الرد و حق الدفاع عن الارض و العرض ارهابا عند الاخوة العرب؟!

الشعب الفلسطيني اختار حماس بانتخابات شرعية و ديمقراطية بعد ان فشل خيار السلام مع من لا يريدون السلام.

عقود من الضلال و الفساد السياسي و النهب عاشها الشعب الفلسطيني تحت حكم حركة فتح ؟ وماذا بعد؟
يتشدق الليبيراليون العرب بخيار السلام ؟ فاي خيار سلام هذا؟
عقود من المحاداثات " العبثية" التي افضت لمزيد من ضياع للحقوق و هدم للبيوت و تجريف للمزارع ومصادرة للأراضي!

عقود من المحاداثات " العبثية" التي افضت لضياع حق عودة الاجئين و حق الحصول على دولة ذات سيادة...أي محادثات سلام يتكلمون عنها و اكثر من 11,000 معتقل فقد الامل بالحياة مثل اي شاب عادي....و جيل من الاطفال بعاني من أمراض نفسيا و يمنع من ابسط حقوق الطفولة...

احساس الخيانة له مذاق مر عندما ياتي من اقرب الناس لديك
حمى الله المقاومة "الغير عبثية" حامية الارض و الشجر و الحجر و اقول لرجال المقاومة مثلما غنت جوليا بطرس لمقوامي حزب اللة في حرب اسرائيل على لبنان عام 2006

فأنتم مثلما قلتم رجال الله في الميدان

ووعدٌ صادقٌ أنتم

وأنتم نصرنا الآتي

وأنتم من جبال الشمسِ عاتيةٌ على العاتي

أحبّائي..

بكم يتحرر الأسرى

بكم تتحرر الأرض

ُبقبضتكم بغضبتك

ميصان البيت والعرضُ

بناة حضارةٍ أنتم وأنتم نهضة القيمِ

أحبّائي..

أقبلُ نبلَ أقدامٍبه

ا يتشرّفُ الشرفُ

بعزّةِ أرضنا انغرستْ

فلا تكبو وترتجفُبكم

سنغيرُ الدنياويسمعُ صوتنا القدر

ُبكم نبني الغدَ الأحلى

بكم نمضي وننتصر

I got Palestine’s flag!

2009-01-07T13:46:00.006+04:00

Yesterday few of sharjah & Dubai residents participated in the silent protest held at am phi theater located in Dubai Media City…attendees lit candles & held the flags…for the first time in my life I participate in such a gathering showing solidarity to people in Gaza Strip... its an overwhelming feeling…was so lovely to see some non-Arab faces carrying some pictures of Gaza’s Massacre …although it’s a nice gesture from the volunteers who organized the event but things could have been better by having a planned program. The most important thing I feel happy about is the small flag I got….i even brought it with me to work.

Meanwhile I’m uploading more pictures on my blog, msn profile, & facebook along with sending some e-mails to all my contacts to let the world see the unseen truth….pictures speak a thousand word don’t they say so
I’m so terrified as I can see no end to this barbaric war…they hit every living spot…they bombed schools, mosques, houses, factories…it’s one of the dirtiest ethical cleansing wars ever….& the world enjoys seeing the Palestinian blood,
innocent victims falling everyday
unbelievable destruction,
children’s bodies torn into pieces
chemical weapons used against disarmed civilians
abolition of the human kind…
and the world remains silent!

I feel like singing Mawtini….
Here is the lyrics…sing with me & pass it on …beautiful words…

مَــوطِــنــي مَــوطِــنــي
الجـلالُ والجـمالُ والسَّــنَاءُ والبَهَاءُ
فـــي رُبَــاكْ فــي رُبَـــاكْ
والحـياةُ والنـجاةُ والهـناءُ والرجـاءُ
فــي هـــواكْ فــي هـــواكْ
هـــــلْ أراكْ هـــــلْ أراكْ
سـالِماً مُـنَـعَّـماً وَ غانِـمَاً مُـكَرَّمَاً
هـــــلْ أراكْ فـي عُـــلاكْ
تبـلُـغُ السِّـمَـاكْ تبـلـغُ السِّـمَاك
مَــوطِــنِــي مَــوطِــنِــي
مَــوطِــنِــي مَــوطِــنِــي
الشبابُ لنْ يكِلَّ هَمُّهُ أنْ تستَقِـلَّ أو يَبيدْ
نَستقي منَ الـرَّدَى ولنْ نكونَ للعِــدَى
كالعَـبـيـــــدْ كالعَـبـيـــــدْ
لا نُريــــــدْ لا نُريــــــدْ
ذُلَّـنَـا المُـؤَبَّـدا وعَيشَـنَا المُنَكَّـدا
لا نُريــــــدْ بـلْ نُعيــــدْ
مَـجـدَنا التّـليـدْ مَـجـدَنا التّليـدْ
مَــوطِــنــي مَــوطِــنِــي
مَــوطِــنِــي مَــوطِــنِــي
الحُسَامُ و اليَـرَاعُ لا الكـلامُ والنزاعُ
رَمْــــــزُنا رَمْــــــزُنا
مَـجدُنا و عـهدُنا وواجـبٌ منَ الوَفا
يهُــــــزُّنا يهُــــــزُّنا
عِـــــــزُّنا عِـــــــزُّنا
غايةٌ تُـشَــرِّفُ و رايـةٌ ترَفـرِفُ
يا هَـــنَــاكْ فـي عُـــلاكْ
قاهِراً عِـــداكْ قاهِـراً عِــداكْ
مَــوطِــنِــي مَــوطِــنِــي

Massacre of Gazan Children‏

2009-01-05T21:35:00.007+04:00

لك تفي ع هيك امة بلا رجال

2009-01-05T14:58:00.006+04:00

لاول مرة بحس انه الاحداث بتدفعني لاكون متطرفة بارائي و معتقداتي....العالم فقد الاحساس و الانسانية و شعب عم يباد و جرائم حرب بشعة عم بتسير و حكومات فاشلة عم بتخطب و تفتي بان المعبر يحق السيطرة عليه من قبل دولة مجرمة اعتقد انو بلش يخرف هالانسان يالي لا بارك الله بحياته و لا بعمله
لاول مرة بشعر اني حمساوية بامتياز و اني جدا مهيئة لاني اكون نموذج متطرف جدا لدرجة اني فقدت تعاطفي مع قتلى تفجيرات القاعدة يالي بتستهدف مواطني دول الاجرام ...هو حل مشروع طالما دم العرب مستباح
حما الله آخر رجال العالم المقاومين ....أخر الرجال على الارض و مافي بعدهم شي اسمو رجولة
خذلتهم الامة لاكن لم يخذلوا الله و لا وطنهم

For the first time I see myself so radical in my beliefs….its beyond my control…seeing people being killed in hundreds just poured into me all the hatred towards those participating in killing & starving 1.5M Palestinian

Egypt’s official standing from what is happening is disgusting! The fat pig is now talking about what is legal & not legal…..

i wish if AL Qaeda would please our hearts by hitting each & every target for Israel world wide….why have we been so against targeting them abroad?! They are a bunch of inhuman killers who were scattered all over the world …. guess what? They figured out all of the sudden that the are God’s chosen people…
your promised land is just a dream which will be vanished by Hamas
Viva Hamas

FROM BARBARIC ZIONISTS TO PALESTINIANS WITH LOVE

2008-12-29T19:59:00.009+04:00

This lovely gallery is dedicated to the shameful, insane & blind international community

Enjoy going through each & every picture …enjoy your humanity…that what Zionists gifted Palestinians on the holiday seasons….don’t expect roses, candies or Christmas gifts as the rest of human beings would gift….

Gaza: celebrate the New Year in your own way as the rest of the world let you down today

2008-12-28T21:36:00.004+04:00

FOR THE 300 INNOCENT SOULS LOST IN GAZA

2008-12-23T10:30:00.000+04:00

OH MY GOD I PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSED MY EXAMS!!!!
WHOPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
: )
YALA JULY COME SOOOOOOOOON
I’M VERY HAPPYYYYY
THANKS GOD FOR MAKING MY DAY

If i were a boy......

2008-12-20T22:59:00.004+04:00

At the moment im very pissed off ….im so convinced more than anytime that I need to pack up soon & leave this hell…..

Ya allah I just wish if I had a magical stick ….i would definitely move to another spot in the word….

Beyonce says if I were a boy even just for a day I’d roll out of bed in da morning n throw on wut I wanted & go drink beer with the guys................

would turn off my phone
Tell everyone that its broken
so they thinkthat I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
and make the rules as I go
cause I know that she’ll be faithful
waiting for me to come home ( to come home)

& I say if I were an arab boy I would be able to change my life .....

Beyonce - If I were A Boy (New)
Uploaded by Le-Tour-2Lor

What happens when u lack life interest & satisfaction

2008-12-16T11:31:00.000+04:00

I never imagined that I would reach a stage of hopelessness in life. I’m so shocked to the extent that I’m not recognizing whom I’m. Fears surround me from everywhere. I feel I have nothing to stay for in this country. I can see no future for me here. I’m so detached from my family in a way that staying at their home becomes a complimentary thing from my side. I feel myself very old with my attitude & psychological make up which drive me to lack of satisfaction. Apparently
I’m not loving anything …I’m not enjoying whatever I do…

Ma disappeared for almost 6 months & then showed up suddenly claiming that he was being hospitalized for months ….i didn’t call him back again since our last call two weeks back...he is so sexy & charismatic but too short to be considered, otherwise I would love to give it a try !!

Actually, I totally refuse the idea of dating somebody shorter than me …
In 15 days the world will farewell 2008 & I haven’t even accomplished any of my resolutions

What a pathetic loser!!!

Blab Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

2008-10-08T11:48:00.000+04:00

I’m so very busy these days…work work & work

what its making it worse is having my midterms next weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek…..need to dedicate this weekend to studying & only studying have no clue how I will digest 16 chapters all at once……I’m worried about my individual projects as well….my work occupies all my efforts & time ..but 7amdila I can still find time for shisha & close friends :D

Yesterday haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad fun shopping …oh gosh outlets at mall of the emirates have introduced new collections of clothes & accessoriesssssssssssss …wanted to buy EVERY THING…went to buy a shoe but ended up buying belts, accessories, make up & toppppppps….while driving back home & I felt a bit guilty as I forgot about having financial obligations these two upcoming months……………

my best friend came back from Canada after finalizing her paper & another one came back from her vacation ….another friend will relocate to Dubai & I expect him to reach Dubai by the end of this month……..

and a disastrous problem coming my way when my uncle comes to visit us sooooooooooooooooon…..dunno how long he will stay but of course gossip & troubles will start indirectly when he sees what I wear & why I come late …etc

Momy …please keep your brother awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay !

Now get to back to work

C yaaaaaaaa

Block THEN Delete

2008-09-01T10:39:00.001+04:00

Sometimes i really feel like having a problem forgiving others. I have few incidents that I can’t come over. I just cant. Its either black or white. I know its WRONG but I just couldn’t. I haven’t spoken to some people in YEARS!

I just can’t forget. I cant forgive. Probably I cant forgive those who meant something in the past.

Having the ability to forgive is a bless! It’s truly a bless! Sometimes I cant & I know Its one of the worst traits I ever have! I admit!

Yesterday I received a Ramadan Greeting MSG from an old friend I haven’t spoken to in one & a half years. A hot discussion ended our 5 years friendship. That day I knew its over at least from my side. I just drop her off, kissed her, & asked for her forgives if I ever hurt her.

Since that time I never spoke or met her.

Every Ramdan & Eid she sends me a msg but I never reply until last Eid when I decided to at least reply with a msg. this Ramadan I just posed starring at her text msg & I wasn’t sure if I had to reply back this Ramadan as well. It’s just too hard to forget how I felt that moment.

The hot discussion wasn’t about having different opinions or so but about seeing masks falling & true feelings being disclosed & revealed…..

You just realize how stupid you were when your honesty & good intentions blinded you.

I’m so very loyal to people in a naïve way. When I give I give endlessly but when I get hurt no matter how trivial the reason might be to some I just can’t get over the incident. The person gets moved to my black list immediately!

Ending a relation with an old friend might not sound as serous as taking out a close relative from your life. They just mean nothing to me & don’t exist in my world. I’m not regretting it now & I don’t want to regret it later. But I really don’t want THOSE DELETED people in my life for good!

PS: Ramadan Kareem to ALL Fasting Muslims

To the guy of “Excuse me miss, I know who you are!”,I write to you!

2008-08-27T10:44:00.001+04:00

Yesterday & in the middle of my grocery shopping at Emirates Mall, an Asian guy stopped me. I was like noooooooooooo way not any again! Remind me please to tell u an old story about the same incident at the same spot & time but with an Egyptian guy ;)

Anyhow, I was so suspicious about what he wanted. He asked if I’m X person working @ X company in DMC. I confirmed that I’m the same person but explained that I’m not working at that company anymore. He tried to remind me of himself...apparently I interviewed him for a job vacancy. To be honest with you, that was 2 years ago & I couldn’t remember him!

But was that a convincing reason???

I had no clue why he stopped me & initiated many topics while I still had way to go to finish what I want to buy. He was so confident & excited! His eyes & body language radiated his excitement to tell me a secret or anything confidential he knows….!!!He wanted to say something but he couldn’t know how. I was so patient until he reached the part that he could have said in the very beginning.

I know your blog! I know that you are Arab Lady!

My smile disclosed everything….I was like aha! What makes you believe I’m the same blogger?

Actually, he showed his interest to the topics I discuss & asked me about the reasons why I want to keep my blog so very private. He apologized for causing any kind of embarrassment, if any.

He was like you look very strong as we see u in real life but it’s somehow surprising to read your writing that shows a kind of battle deep inside you.

I know that you will read my post & I just want to let you know that I didn’t get embarrassed. Not at all. I will never be ashamed of my opinions nor the emotional & mental status I go through when I get pissed off or depressed.

I might look to you like a lady with a strong personality, plucky, & arrogant but at the end of the day I’m like the rest of human beings who question their cultural, religious, & social values. My blog is a spot where I mostly rant, complain, & whine about anything that upsets me. Above this & that, I’m a female with feelings, worries, dreams & sensitivity that i keep hiding…

Regarding the privacy issue, any female writing about any controversial topic is considered as a fame seeker!
So here I’m …just seeking a tiny spot on the cyber space to voice my thoughts & escape reality…it’s an online diary anyways & I’m not a writer

At any rate, I liked your courage. See you around!

Ana & My Religious Mama!

2008-08-24T10:50:00.003+04:00

It’s so ridiculous how being a single female in a conservative culture means that you are under supervision regardless of all circumstances. Whether you are financially independent or not, whether you are above 21 or not, whether you are mature or not, you still have to abide by local tradition by force even if you don’t believe in it.

Having a religious Muslim mother is not something pleasing to deal with! When I say religious, I mean every bit of it!
I wish if I could let her understand that it’s my life. Indeed, I fed up from changing my plans & lifestyle to accommodate her frame of mind. I wish if she could figure out that I’m doing her a favor by staying at my parents’ house!

I want to scream saying I hate Hijab! I'm sick of the endless lectures about how "7aram" is it to reveal your body & hair!
I want to let her know that if I smoke or wear a short skirt it is not about showing my merchandise or hunting down a handsome groom, its about me respecting my right to exist without suppressing my self! I dont believe my body is "3awra"!

I am sick of the same broken record about “3eeeb” & “ 7aram” & “wut ppl shall I say”.
I wanna EXIST & LIVE in a world away from religious & cultural obligations that drive u to no where!

Can I have some peace without calling me almost every day asking why u are late? Where are u now? How many times shall i explain that if a truck hits me, the hospital would call her! i'm moving around with my ID with me for God's sake! so they will know who the hell i'm!

Personally, I don’t have to give explanations about why I’m late. at least this wut i believe in... I’m fully responsible for myself & my safety. I don’t need time curfew since I’m not living in a military camp! HELLOOOOOOI have the right to go wherever I want with whomever I want whenever I want! Hellllllll

She thinks I’m not convinced of Islam & its teachings that’s why I’m rebelling. At the end of the day its my life so please wake up before I lose my patience.

Your obsession about me should end; the bird will leave the nest sooner or later.

Unrelated ….inconsistent thoughts written while @ work

2008-08-14T09:47:00.001+04:00

Fake world with frozen feelings…plastic faces…big lies….yellow smiles….black hatred…
I can no longer trust anybody …I can’t distinguish between who is honest & who is not…

My mood is not good today with all the money I spend to boost my swingy emotions….that proves that happiness stems from your brain, your attitude, your soul, & your heart

The day before my childish friend dragged me to Magic Planet @ Mall of the Emirates to play games!!!
I found it ridiculous & shameful… I was looking around myself all the time to see if anybody I know would me there! Its cool to go crazy & do things you usually don’t dare to commit!

She wanted to get our picture etched on a medal & I had to surrender to her wish especially that she will get back to her home town next week….i will definitely miss her non-stoppable madness with all the tons of the problems she has…she never stops laughing giggling jumping from here to there like a kido …sometimes I think about her & how she could survive with the endless troubles she has…she still manages to smile….weird life…or weird human beings…

2008-08-04T11:20:00.000+04:00

This is what a wrote on 10th July, 2008-08-04

“ At this particular moment, I feel that I’m so desperate & sad,
I really lost interest in life
What makes me stay here is that I’m afraid of death…….
I have no reason anymore to stay”

I also wrote the following lines:

ماذا من طعم يبقى في الحياة “
بعدما تفقد الحياه لذتها ماذا من جمال يبقى في الوجود
بعدما تفقد الاشياء من حولتك جماليتها

تبحث عن المزيد في حين لا يرضيك ماهو الموجود
تبحث عن الذي انت لا تدري ماهوى
لكن تدرك أنه مفتاح الخلاص
“
I have the same feelings today & everday…I really wish if I can die coz I e feel I have no reason to live…..why shall I live the way destiny was set by forces beyond my capability…whats the point of positions, money, cars…education if I will eventually die

Why don’t we cut it short if we are not happy in life….i wish if death would be a peaceful end to someone’s pain

Why Arabs are bloody killers

2008-08-04T10:25:00.001+04:00

I have read a comment by an American on You Tube commenting on the killing of the Lebanese singer, Suzan Tamem. He was right. He just asked why Arabs like to kill people!!

Yes why we have the passion towards killing others…others who differ from us

I’m sick of the bloody genes that we unfortunately inherited…..Palestinians, Lebanese, Egyptians, Sudanese, Iraqis…etc are killing each other in the name of religion, for the sake of dominance….

Diversity is a curse in the third world ….Is it God’s fault who created us differently..or its us having malfunctioning shallow-minded brains

I’m sick of seeing brothers in humanity killing each other….i’m sick of seeing people putting an end to life on Earth….

Lets live in peace for God’s sake…….

Random Thoughts

2008-07-21T09:57:00.000+04:00

How does it feel to take off your chest a heavy burden? I just did by finishing my final exam. As mush as I was happy, I was a bit sad. My friends will be graduate next semester while I’m waaaaaaaay behind. They have jobs as well to maintain so I don’t have an excuse. I still have one year to go. I don’t want to regret putting my masters on hold but things happened the way it happened & I can do nothing about the past.

These days I don’t feel like talking to any of my family members….three days passed i haven’t seen anybody..nothing happened but I just don’t feel like talking ..listening to mom’s ranting about this & that….eft!

I should start a saving plan cause the situation is horrible…I’m not saving a penny although my salary is higher than my married brothers who have a tribe of kids!!

Thanks God, I don’t have to think about rent expenses, electricity, telephone bills, water, grocery shopping & cooking etc…..however, I’d love to be independent & settle down alone a part from sharing your privacy & life with your family….

Happy 3rd anniversary my lovely blog…I love u & I’m proud of you…I know you tolerated me in times I was happy, depressed, desperate, moody….thanks for my trustworthy friend & warm nest

Weekend Stuff

2008-07-06T09:54:00.002+04:00

This morning I feel my head will explode …its heavy … its like carrying batikha (watermelon) I drank plenty of coffee, smoked two cigarettes, & took headache reliever …nothing is working : (

Friday was (nakad) & depressing. Didn’t feel like seeing anybody or talking to anybody…I spent all day long sleeping…. Yesterday I went to watch a movie with the “newly engaged friend”.... I watched “ AL RAyes Omar 7arb” it sucks….then we went for shisha probably my head is spinning becoz of that…or probably becoz I didn’t have enough sleep …u know I cant miss on watching Noor on MBC 4!!!

By the way I confronted my friend with what bothered me the other day…she explained her point of view & I tried to be understanding! See how good I’m ;)

Last week I sent an e-mail to my ex-boss who moved to KSA. I missed him so very much. It’s so amazing how chemistry played a role. I have been so close to him & I took plenty of time to realize that he left Dubai for good....

He replied back telling me that he laughed when he read my e-mail. He was talking about me ( as usual) in front of his colleagues who asked me to offer me a job in KSA. He seemed sooooooooo depressed.

Here is a part of what he wrote:

“thanks (……. )for your mail you makes me feel so happy
my family went to(……)I,m setting here alone , no place to go bcs i,m now single i have very restricted area to go.

any way i rely miss you and the time when we were setting together chatting about every thing our life and our future,now i cant find somebody to talk to.

let me tell one thing ,from the time i left Dubai may be you are the only person who is contacting me i don't know what wrong with the people i don't want you to feel bad i,m feeling very bad towards women you remember when i told you that i,m always feel that i,m not lucky with women , now i can feel it more , some of the girls whom i thought they are Friends they don't even answer my calls .

since i met you it was clear for me that you are different and now you prove it for me , you are rely a special person i wish we are setting now in Patti coffee taking our coffee and talking any way as they said you cant always get all what you want and some times you met people you wish you met them earlier in your life,

i don't know what i,m writing it seems that i,m very dispirit
pls keep in touch....with love "

I replied with a spirit- boasting e-mail hoping it will make him feel good. Actually my e-mail sounded like a lecture…..he is blaming women & women r blaming men..whats the hell!

Don’t get depressed my ex-moddddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir

Hope to see u sooooooooooon.

Quit or no Quit

2008-07-02T10:18:00.001+04:00

What you would do if you have a boring job. The problem is that nothing comes as a full package its either disorganized management style, being underpaid, or having boring responsibilities.
All my ex-bosses were awesome. My current boss is awesome too.
With my ex-employer I loved my job to death, had a wonderful manager, but stress was about to destroy me mentally & I couldn’t cope with university , missed my final exam & failed the course…etc
Now I moved to a new employer, a wonderful boss as well….well paid….international com etc
But I don’t feel its fulfilling my hunger towards what I love to do …my passion towards marketing…I don’t feel such a job will add to my career path neither strengthen my skills… no knowledge gaining….
I’m programmed to have very demanding stressful jobs …having a verrrrrrrrrry relaxing job is not my cup of coffee, tea, wutevaa……I want something challenges something new everyday
I can’t be greedy at the same time…..having everything is somehow impossible
Yesterday I had dinner with my newly engaged friend …. She pissed me off to the max with a behavior that I didn’t like ….thx God I managed to control my nerves!

Goodbye Ali

2008-07-01T12:24:00.000+04:00

I’m very sad

A fellow blogger , Sleepless in Muscat, passed away at the age of 29

I used to read his blog when I started blogging

I wish his soul will find peace wherever it exits now

May allah bless your soul ALi

2008-06-24T09:35:00.001+04:00

Yesterday was one of the worst & longest days ever….time stopped at 9:00 am & didn’t move…
I wasn’t in the mood to work ….after duty I went shopping hoping to get better. actually yes I felt a bit better…the worst part continued when I woke up at 3:00 AM …I woke up from a horror movie indeed ….dead people again but this time I saw myself dead…I couldn’t stop crying & moved to another room….its like emotional torturing ..

Two weeks passed & I cant get over those nightmares…is it a sign? Will something wrong happen? Is it me or my family? Its like waiting for unknown mysterious fate…its getting closer from its target

I just saw my entire life in a movie for few minutes … I realized that I’m not ready at all to face death…I have never been a good Muslim….does God hate me? I can’t understand him….

I need to get those dreams explained by somebody coz I can’t tolerate such paaaaaaaaaaaain….i’m scared to sleep

One of my friends came from Canada last month… she is settled down in dubai now…her engagement party is this Friday..i cant help explain my mixed feelings….i’m happy for her but at the same time I’m sorry for myself …

Life doesn’t seem to be colorful anymore…..why do people start to lose interest in everything..things you try to engage your self with in order to get out of your dark zone…all my plans to get my brain busy have failed..sport..masters..friends…nothing worked

I’m missing something …I’m really missing something ….is it religion what I should search for

How Do i Breath

2008-06-22T23:23:00.002+04:00

Mario - How Do I Breathe lyrics

2008-06-21T21:17:00.001+04:00

At this very moment …I feel like shooting my sister in law for being the worst mother on Earth…I always had the feeling that she has some mental disorders that belong to her early childhood since she was oppressed by her fanatic family….

She didn’t want to have her first child & in my opinion she successfully failed in raising her three yrs old kido ….the disastrous part that she is pregnant!!!! She doesn’t like kids!! Is it not educated enough to raise kids! She has a very short temper….

I wish if I would yell at her & say that u cant even take care of a rabbit

Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!! She deliberately abuse her son

Not every women can be a good mother….childhood should be protected by a third party in case parents failed in fulfilling their responsibilities…where the hell do u find this in the Arab World!!!

Tell me how on Earth could a proper parent shout at his/her child…

I’m so upset

Dreams...Dreams...Dreams...

2008-06-19T10:54:00.001+04:00

I’m having some weird dreams these days. I have bad feelings when I wake up. I saw my self with a bunch of relatives wearing black clothes. I understood that somebody passed away but I’m not sure who exactly. I think she was my mother if I’m mistaken.

Last week I saw myself visiting my dead aunt & her daughter. My aunt was sitting with dad but my cousin looked upset…she didn’t even want to talk to me….at the end of the dream I saw myself sitting by a harbour….no place in any of the dreams looked familiar…that weekend I spent it at home I had some fear that something bad would happen

Why relatives? Wish if I could know the meaning o f my dreams…..

The third anniversary of my blog is approaching ….three years passed & I hope to continue the habit of jotting down my annoying thoughts

Thoughts

2008-06-18T10:06:00.000+04:00

I would like to thank those who left comments on my last post…its so amazing to get your feedback & seek some advices based on your experience…

Wondering why some people read my blog!!!

Days pass by so fast…the weekend is around the corner ….work is ok but boring….I’m not going to the gym theses days …I knew it …my grades were ok for both midterm & project but I still have my final exam in two weeks….

Today morning my brain is occupied with the warnings about some possible terrorist attacks on UAE…I’m so confident that this would happen someday but I have no clue when…the disastrous part that I’m working in one of the potential targets which is busy with westerns & foreign companies……

How does it feel if you survived from a terrorist attack? How does it feel to know that you were able to make it while your colleges, friends, relatives or anybody at the attacked place weren’t? how much time it would take you to heal from the situation…what if I got paralyzed? Black thoughts ..black thoughts

And in case you lost your life, how doesn’t feel to know that the game is over? You are not able to do one final good deed any more. ….even you cant ask the forgiveness of people you hurt….you are not able to correct your mistakes anymore…its too late….no more chances….

What would you do if you know that today is your last day?

I would just raise my head to the sky & talk to God…I would tell him that I know that he exists ….i might not be a perfect person but whatever I have done, I have done it based on my convictions & beliefs that might be wrong or right…

Mom I don’t know if you & dad have been good parents but I know that you love me in your way….i know that I don’t express my love in the right way either but I love you both

Random Thoughts

2008-06-10T14:58:00.000+04:00

Why women get attracted to men easily. What if this man is a game player? What if he sees you as a friend. I don’t believe in traditional marriage & my sister keeps on advising me to get myself a husband within two years max otherwise khalas its over…!!!
I can sense their concern because I’ m still unmarried

What shall I do? I want to fall in love…meet him accidentally in the elevator or the mini market..he would smile at me & the story would start…ha ha what a broad imagination!!

Did I ever said that I gained 989898 killos within the past few years. I spend time early in the morning trying to fit something wearable! My belly annoys me a lot! I want my sexy body back…..at least I need to lose 5 killos… I tried weight loss & fat burner tablets but they didn’t work….yesterday I registered myself in a gym although I’m not into working out….

im bored now ..nothing much to do at work...

2008-05-26T17:23:00.003+04:00

Update:

I'm not going to the party.....
_________________________________________________

Today my boss was trying to convince me to join him to that Gala Dinner organized by his friend's company...the perfume guy ;)

i dunno why i got some feelings that his friend asked him to invite me :)
i'm not sure if i'm going ...not sure what to do ..why not take the risk!

got to buy a sexy night outfit :)

wut if he approched me..what if he asked for my num....what if he didnt give a dame about me...

anyways i'll think about accompaying my boss...why not ...

will keep u posted

2008-05-20T08:12:00.000+04:00

I have to go back home early because its unacceptable in our culture to see a female staying out late!

Its my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..MY…M…Y…MY

What shall our neighbors say about us? DEFINE the word LATE. What if I want to stay up late who the hell are you to interfere in my life & program it.

I have been hiding zillions of things for the sake of avoiding troubles. But actually I fed up & I couldn’t care more.

How do other females feel when they have a double standard life? How does it feel when you hide things you do & keep lying not because you think what you are doing is wrong but for the sake of getting some peace of mind.

What the fuck!

I really envy my single friends who are living alone away from their families…eft!

bad morning

2008-05-13T09:48:00.000+04:00

Bad morning,

I have no clue what to do

I committed a crime…I hit my brother’s car @ 6 am ..its mercedies I duno what type but a sport car with one door ….he worships his car & uses it like once a month!

The car is covered & parked in front of our house…he has already left for work when I did what I did : (

Somebody will get shot this evening :( ..i dunno how I will inform him!

Shall I send him an sms? Shall I wait until he notice him self in order to avoid a bloody fight today : (

HELPPPPPPPPP

I’ll try to be positive today & forget about this incident ….
get to go

Back to work

CHRISTIAN OR NON CHRISTIAN

2008-05-09T14:55:00.002+04:00

CHRISTIAN OR NON CHRISTIAN

If you are a frequent reader of my diary you would not be surprised to know how religion has been a problem for me when it comes to men & dating.

I don’t recall that I had ever fallen for a guy from the SAME RELIGION. All those whom we get attracted to each other ANE present a very PERFECT MATCH turn to be from a different RELIGION.

Hint: I’m picky & choosy in a way that its so very difficult to get attracted to man.

Surprisingly, my 1 zillion criteria are generally met by non muslims. I keep struggling to hold my feelings back, turn all their invitations down to get closer or give the relation a try.

Personally, I don’t get a damn about this issue. But culture & religion do. I come from a conservative background & I could jeopardize my life & safety if I ever thought of loving or marrying a Christian/Shi’i guy.

What triggled my post is a Chritian HOT HOT guy who saw me at work while meeting my boss. The partition was transparent & he was starring at me all the time; as claimed by my boss. To be honest with u I was extremely busy & didn’t notice that. But I still remember a sexy TALL BOLD guy ;)

The following day I went to his company to get some training & apparently he saw me leaving. When I get back to the office, my BOSS called me to his office & asked what the hell I have down at that company. I freaked out!

He was like what the hell I started getting calls even b4 u reaching ur office!
My blood got frozen! lol

MY BOSS ASKED ME WHAT PERFUME I WEAR! I WAS LIKE WHAT!

That guy who is in fact the regional director of the com in MENA, smelled the perfume & recognized the name of it! It was his fav perfume actually. I just passed for FEW SECONDS while approaching the elevator!

My boss is acting as a matcher now for his friend & gave me good feedback about the guy such as being so choosy as well in getting attracted to women in general.

Lets wait & see. God I know u r reading what I wrote & I would like to tell u something. I figured out that diversity of religion brought to our small world all the pain & wars.

I wish if religions don’t exist! I Wish if life was much easier & simpler. i really fed up

Will keep u posted anyways

Fashit kholi2

2008-05-05T22:27:00.003+04:00

100% of arab men are jurks alll of them all of them ...im just wondering if i could meet only ONE MAN out of the zillions i'm seeing in my daily life

he wants to marry me he wants to c me....he lectures me regarding married women's dress code...he refuses to accept the idea of having male friends..etc CLAIMING THAT HE IS A MAN ...

where is ur manhood today when my car broke up? ur fucking dentist is more important than helping out a woman in need...a girl that u want her to be ur soul mate

i dont care about u ....aslan u dont match my expectations & criteria

i dont care about ur fucking appoitment with ur fucking dentist ..things would have changed a bit if u acted as a MAN
but deep inside i know that 99.99 % of those carying their fucking pinus are far away from being REAL MEN

just wondering why God is not sending my way some REAL Men ..they might not be existing...

wut fucking concepts they have in their mind about HOROR & MANHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

2008-05-02T11:36:00.002+04:00

I’m really tired. I know the solution is easy but I wish if I could change things unchangeable in my life. I fed up from instability. I wish if I could write everything on this wall. Knowing that somebody can read my thoughts upsets me & forbid me from writing what I want!

Instability
Insecurity

I want to settle down I want something guaranteed
Where am I going? I really made a decision that affected my career path…I’m way behind regarding my masters ….not able to communicate at all with the ppl I’m living with
Till when I have to tolerate the gap btw us…its so unbelievable to live with somebody for the sake of being obligatory

Your agenda & life should be programmed the way they want
You should eat, think, behave ,talk ,act ,wear, & walk the way they want
You should embrace their religion, thoughts, & tradition

I’m tired of acting to satisfy them & myself at the sometime

I wish if I could scream & let them know WHAT I M & WHAT I WANT TO BE ..

its my years thats flying by..its my youth .. Its my life…

I want to enforce my options my wants my plans for my life….i don’t want to compromise for nothing ….

Some ppl’s extistance might be a reason to move forward

Some ppl’s existabnce might be a reason to move backward
Disturbing existence

Enough ranting for today!

2008-04-22T20:56:00.000+04:00

Have a look at this post http://desertpeace.wordpress.com/2008/04/21/is-dubai-helping-ethnic-cleansing-in-palestine/

Goodbye Karim!

2008-04-15T20:24:00.000+04:00

Bye Karim

Today Cheif George passed by my office to say hi…I’ve been wondering about Karim, a sexy gentle Moroccan colleague working as a Taste Manger

Kareem has left UAE & the Arab World for good.

He paid some bucks to a 35 yrs old lady in order to marry her & get the Spanish Citizenship

Kareem left without saying good to me!

I just feel sorry for our Arab youth running after Europe’s promises & dreaming about living there

Bye Kareem

I don’t have any citizenship either ! Anybody willing to marry me?

Cheif George envies Kareem. He wishes if he could do so. He thinks Karim seized the right opportunity….

How many zillions of kareemz do we have?

I will miss u kareem

Goodbye

2008-04-15T12:06:00.000+04:00

I really ran out of patience

I’m so sick of the ignorance & carelessness of a bank that should respect who inaugurated it

I already started to contact local newspapers in order to publish my complaint against Noor Islamic Bank

I really exhausted all tools of communication trying to contact the Sales department, customer service, Operations & Senior management but no response so far to attend to my complaint

No action no response

10 days & so far they didn’t fix the LPO

I want my money back !! along with compensation for the time wasted so far

ONE MONTH!!!

Damn it!!

Wish me luck!!!

Quick Update- Noor Islamic Bank Part #12659820659898989

2008-04-13T10:01:00.004+04:00

I just got a call from NIB’s Branch Manger after sending A VERY LOVELY E-MAIL

lol

He promised to solve the problem by today " INSHALA"

i hate when ppl say " INSHALA"...since three weeks i'm hearing this word

" INSHALA"
" INSHALA"
plzzzzzzzzzz have mercy on this WORD For God's Sake!!!

Lets see what will happen.

He better do so before I send a hot letter to 7 days & Emarate El Youm!!! I would love to tell the whole UAE about the worst bank in town!

Lovely Quotes to Start You Day With!

2008-04-12T10:55:00.002+04:00

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path & leave a trial

Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.

- Anonymous

The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

- Allan K. Chalmers

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.

- James Oppenheim

The secret to happiness is not in doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do.

- Anonymous

Attitude determines altitude.

- Anonymous

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

- William Shakespeare

2008-04-08T16:21:00.003+04:00

Cliams cliams cliams ...a world full of cliams, based on claims...depending on claims....

thats what you would read on their website:

Why NIB
"Be it our people, our attitude or our philosophy and purpose. We are passionate about achievement, sincere about service, and caring about customers.
We are Noor Islamic Bank.
Our extraordinary dedication to you- our customer- , drives us to ensure that you always get the best of our highly evolved Islamic banking services. We are committed to setting benchmarks of excellence in our chosen field by delivering progressive Islamic Banking solutions.

We pride ourselves on our result-oriented culture, which is built on a customer-centric and service-assured platform. "

Here’s a sure way to put your life into top gear. If you’ve got your eye on that snazzy little 4-wheeler, we’ll help you drive off into the sunset.

Noor Drive - Unlimited choices , one solution
One of the most innovative and flexible auto finance schemes ever, here’s a multi-faceted auto finance package that's virtually guaranteed to offer a combination that fits your requirement, convenience and budget. And if that is not good enough, we also offer our customers four different way of owning the car of your choice. So go ahead, get into the driver's seat."

After writing a trillion word e-mail to Noor Islamic Bank, I received the following:

Dear ______

First of all, thank you for your time to visit our website.

I would also like to apologize on behalf of Noor Islamic Bank for our short comings.

Your email was acknowledged and forwarded to the Management and concern department and will be recorded in our customer complaint tracking.

Constructive feedbacks such as yours are greatly valued.

Regards,

Noor Islamic Bank

any action from their side??? I doubt

2008-04-08T12:07:00.000+04:00

Three days to fix an LPO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m about to EPLODEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I want my money BACK!!!

Noor Islamic Bank the WORST Bank in the UAE

2008-04-06T19:54:00.000+04:00

Noor Islamic Bank is by far the worst bank ever in the whole UAE. I have been really surprised by the level of very bad service. Does such a thing exist in Dubai!! it shouldn’t !!

Here are my reasons for not to choosing this bank:

Damn SLOW services
Zillions of mistakes in managing the transaction
Unqualified, unskillful, untrained staff ( I talked to three ppl in order to know what date I should put on the cheques)
Your Sales person will never pick the phone to answer your questions ( In your Dream)
Staff that blame each other/other departments for their silly, ridiculous & forgivable mistakes. I kept receiving calls asking if I prepared the CAR REGISTRATION in time the bank hasn’t sent yet the LPO nor the Mortgage Paper to the Agency!!! ( isnt a stupid question)
After getting the damn approval, you would wait for another ONE week till the “Mandoob” call you to sign the contract!
No flexibility: they force their clients to write the due date the first of every month!!! They ask for down payment!! Payments are due 30 days after signing the contacts at the latest ( other banks give u 90 days)

After two weeks of struggling back & forth along with wasting my time to , his majesty “the UNKNOWN”employee has sent the LPO with a MISTAKE!!!!!!

I’m just wondering what kind of banking services they had in mind when they inaugurated the bank???

Usually I don’t regret things I do but this experience made me really regret going for this bank.

And the drama continues

2008-04-06T09:43:00.001+04:00

I think I need a bloody hit on my head to wake up from the laziness phase I’m going through.

I sleeeeeeeeeeeeep a lot
Physical activity = 0
Mental activity= 0
I wake up late
I go to work late
My Tommy is getting bigger & bigger
I go to the saloon for the heck of wasting time & spending money
Appetite reducers didn’t work with me…I can’t close my mouth for more than 30 minz
These days I’m seeing nightmares on a daily basis
I have short temper most of the time
I don’t feel like doing anything at all
I’m hesitant in making decisions! Nothing matters to me..nothing is important anymore…every thing is 3adi
I put plans but I never make them true
I’m not concentrating on one thing at a time…I’m not concentrating at all
Sometimes I wonder what I want from life
I feel myself lost & confused
I’m just unhappy & I dunno why

I’m really worried & I’m scared as there are a lot of things coming up concerning my job that needs full dedication. I shouldn’t forget that I will register for two courses in May for my masters!

What the hell is happening to me? it is not me any more.
What do they call such symptoms? Is it depression?

2008-04-05T14:44:00.003+04:00

خرابييييش: أمنية و سؤال محير

خطرت على بالي فكرة جميلة جدا اتمنى تطبيقها في الوطن العربي. ( يا ريييت يعني)

معجبة بفكرة وضع الاب الذي يزوج ابنته القاصر ( أقل من 21) في السجن و اتهام زوج" الهنا" بتهمة الاغتصاب

ياسلام!!! ياترى كم من الاباء و الازواج (المغتصبين) سوف نضع نحن النساء في السجون!!

و احلى شى وضع صورة الاثنين على صفحة المجرمين المحتملين!!

الاجمل من ذلك في مجتمعاتنا هو اعتبار الفتاه التي في منتصف العشرينات ( عانس رسمي) و ان الفرص باتت شبه معدومة!

بسبب حب "الننوس عين أمه" الشاب الثلاثيني و الاربعيني للزواج من طفلة عمرها 18 سنة

صراحة و بدون لف و دوران أي شاب لديه مثل هكذا تفكير لا يناسب ان يكون شريك حياه لفتاه عاقلة متعلمة منفتحة و معتمده على نفسها

وارى ان اي فتاه لم تبلغ العشرين و تريد الزواج هي مجرد فتاه جد بلهاء قبلت ان يكون

جسدها "الفرش" أداة لامتاع الشاب يالي طال عمره يسمى بانه "ناضج"

سؤال؟ اذا الشب العربي يختار فتاه المستوى التعليم المتوسط و الثانوي،

إذا فمن سيتزوج الجامعيات و سيدات الاعمال اللواتي "نحتن في الصخر" للوصول لطموحاتهن

سؤال وجيه؟

الاجابة لي شخصيا سهلة: زواج عرفي يالاضافة إلى تنبي طفل!

و لا مزلة السي السيد بسلامتو!

2008-04-01T10:57:00.002+04:00

In “Emarat EL Youm”, a leading Arabic Newspaper in UAE, there is a section that shows the answers of surveyed people about general topics. Today’s question was” Is beating wives justified?

The sad part is the responses of the women surveyed. I felt so very depressed to read the comments. They do agree claiming that some wives do tease their husbands & dive them crazy!!

Come on for God’s sake? Are we still living in Taliban’s era? Yes we do. Yes we do. Yes we do.

Arab Women deserve what they go through. They absolutely do!

If you are not brave enough to admit that you are a free human being with dignity, you certainly deserve to be abused & humiliated by those you made them your superiors.

I’m really sad.

: (

2008-03-29T17:41:00.001+04:00

Kalam Niswaaaaaan (my story with my sisters in law)- Part ONE

I foresee a potential bloody fight with my sisters-in-law these days : ) …isn’t lovely!

My 9 year old niece has a blabbing tongue exactly like her mother. Both of them have no clue how to use their brain cells in something useful except BLABLAAAAAABING.

(El mohim), the other day I asked my niece about what she wants to be in the future when she grows up. The shocking answer was that she doesn’t think of going to college. For her Grade 10 is more than enough!!!

So I spontaneously replied: “ you want to be like your mother & ur aunt (my other sister in law)???!!!!!!!!

Why on Earth a girl whose age is 9 would love to stay at home & get married? Of course becoz she doesn’t see some leading role models around her. She sees women who clean, cook, speak 132356598 words per second, & get pregnant every 9 months!!

I’m very concerned about the quality of the upcoming generations of my family!! I’m serious about it!

I’m so upset too coz my brothers don’t tend to choose intellectual educated ladies which will be reflected on their kids later on!

I have 2 sisters in law whose maximum level of education is a High School degree!!! Another one s a drop out!! My brother tried to convince her to continue but she refused!

(El mohim), my sisters in law protested! They spoke with my sister about what Hiba means when she said” you want to become like your mother & aunt”

My sister got embarrassed :)

I told her if they want an explanation, im ready!!

2008-03-28T08:59:00.002+04:00

Massive explosion in AL Qouz Industrial Area in Dubai on Wednesday 26th March

Causalities: the accident killed 3 ppl injured 27 others and gutted at least 83 storage facilities in Al Quoz Industrial Area

Gob Bless U UAE & Dubai

2008-03-21T14:54:00.003+04:00

In response to Sabra http://hometoronto.blogspot.com/regarding her post about me feeling sorry for us being Arab Females!!

First of all. Very sorry for not checking your blog frequently as I have been away from bloging. I even turned off the commenting option since June 2007.

Lovely post & lovely “Fashit Kholi2”. I always feel sorry for ambitious women for being Arabs. Successful ambitious talented arab women existing in the Arab World were obliged to sacrifice alot to reach what they have reached. Society sees them as incomplete. Your education, career, & achievement don’t justify. They are not counted. If I prefer to continue my education over getting married, I would be insane. Sympathy could be seen in the eyes of your relatives when compared with your younger peers who got dozens of kids. Even if they are not happy with their marriage, even if they don’t have financial independence, society sees them as achievers! they have made the right choice!

Two days ago I was harsh with a friend of mine who got deceived by a 45 old man who is married with 4 kids! I asked her what about his first wife? How could you allow yourself to sink into such a relationship?!

A woman is always a bitch with another woman.

Sometimes I feel that we deserve what ever Arab women grow through. Women accepted the path drawn by culture & religion. They submitted to the current situation & never tried to change neither rebel.

To every woman out there, fight for your rights. Don’t ever submit to the myth that we don’t deserve absolute EQUALITY.

Sabra,
Since this part of the world has us, future will have a better place & opportunities to the coming generations.

We shouldn’t lose faith.
One day Arab men wont be able to force their sisters to cover themselves, wont be able to force women to get married to their cousins…one day a woman would be able to take her decisions by her own & be her self.

2008-03-20T08:37:00.002+04:00

Life is moving on ….people come….people go…days pass by so fast…happy moments elapse quickly & we realize that its time to say goodbye ….to say goodbye to the people we respect, admire, love, to the people who we trust, the people who inspire us to smile & survive…..

This year it was the happiest because you were in my life…to both of you I say: I will really miss you. I’ve learnt a lot from you…

I cant imagine that your existence will be nothing more than sweet memories while browsing your pictures….you will always have a space in my heart…

Its time to say goodbye…wish to get the chance to see you one day somewhere else on this planet…might be another country under a different sky...

With Love,

Hiba

“People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within”, Ramona L. Anderson.

MY RESPONSE WAS: FUCK U & UR STUPID CEO

2008-02-25T17:31:00.002+04:00

Expatriates.com has forwarded you the following response to your ad.> >

Important: Please read our scam alert page http://www.expatriates.com/html/scams.html to learn about common Internet scams and how to avoid them. > > If you consider the message below to be spam, a scam or otherwise objectionable, please report it by forwarding this email message to contact@expatriates.com.> > From: masisb9@yahoo.com> View Ad: http://www.expatriates.com/cls/2447287.html> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

Hi....,> This is with reference your add aon expatriates website .We are pleased to introduce ourselves that we are a General Trading Company based at Khartoum the Capital City of Sudan and our main business activities are to Import, export of Auto Battery Scrap,Petroleum coke,steel scrap,Charcoal, Sesame Seed, and Textile goods. >

We have our export business around Middle East and Asian Countries and having our own companies in Sudan and Turkey. > We are looking a beautiful,well educated and smart girl as personal secretary fro our CEO who can work at his home based office in Dubai and Khartoum,Sudan.>

The Secretary has to co-ordinate with our World wide and local customers,the secretary has to schedules and coordinates appointments and meetings, arranges travel, manages databases and activity logs, prepares and produces correspondence, maintains paper and electronic files, and researches and recommends solutions to a variety of procedural problems.>

The secretary has to travel with CEO to Sudan,Qatar and UK on business trips because we have our own offices on said stations.> Secretary Must be Fluent in written & spoken English.well experienced computer literate.> She has to attend the business dinner / Lunch meetings.The accommodation will be provided in the CEO apartment

If you think that you are willing to accept this challenging job and can handle the things smoothly and can be trust worthy to our CEO and can establish a frankly and friendly relationship with the CEO then please send your your CV and full length photo.>

If you have any question you can write to me any time.> >
With Regards> >
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SALFI COMPANY LIMITED> >
E-Mail: masisb9@yahoo.com

MY RESPONSE WAS FUCK U & UR STUPID CEO..!!!

2008-02-05T16:28:00.000+04:00

Fashit kholi2

U never know where your happiness is
U meet people & get impressed by what they have reached or done
U never know if they are happy or not..even if they say there are, is it real happiness?
I’m really upset
I’m just wondering when the smashing opportunity is coming..shall I wait till it comes or shall I hunt for it….

I can do better & I need to work very hard on my self to improve ….i feel myself paralyzed…I’m not ambitious anymore…I’m not working hard anymore…

I neeeeeeeeeed a push ……great drastic revolutionary PUSH
I neeeeeeeeeeeed a futuristic opportunity to rise

2007-12-31T14:39:00.000+04:00

So very depressed
Yesterday was a tough day & honestly I have been reviewing How 2007 was…
Apparently it was very promising & glittering but FAKE
FAKE SUCCESS
PERFECT decisions but in really were bad ones in the long run
I was chitchatting with my friend while driving & I really summarized what 2007 was to me:

TOTAL emotional failure, as usual nothing new!!!
Masters plans collapsed just yesterday
Professionally wise, it was…..

Anyways wishing everybody a blessed new year full of love & success

Best Regards
Arab Lady

2007-12-21T19:48:00.000+04:00

Few days ago I went with sister to have a walk by the beach…the weather was amazing
She asked me one question what do you want….

Without hesitation I answered I want to be myself, I want to have a simple life. I really miss being myself. I fed up from acting. I fed up from hiding the true me. I’m sick of acting in front of them, lying, hiding the truth..etc.

It’s a double standard society that made me have two different lives.

I told her how I’m sick of being double standard. Through out the previous years I learnt to talk, act, walk, live, breathe, & think the way CLUTURE, SOCIETY, & RELIGION think it’s the RIGHT WAY.

I feel like screaming very loud telling them its not my fault that God chose us to be FEMALES. Its not our fault he gave us the burden of virginity.

I’m tired of swimming against the flow. Where am i going?

PS: Thanks for all those who send their feedback on my posts. I read all your e-mail even if i dont get the chance to reply back.

With Love,

Arab Lady

2007-12-19T17:42:00.000+04:00

2007-12-13T12:03:00.000+04:00

Today was a weird morning….throughout the one & half hours that took me to reach my office…I was day dreaming :(

I was seeing my self in white..imagining how my wedding would look like & how I would style my hair , who to invite..etc

I can’t imagine myself a married lady..honestly..but got some feeling that probably I’ll wear an engagement ring soon..its a bit difficult to accept the idea! What about my career? After lets say 9 hours at work & 3-4 hours being stuck in traffic then what remaining is absolutely for getting rest!

What about college? Who will cook? What about my single girl friends? Will I be able to hang out with them again? What type of life style will I have? What about the tight jeans? Will he interfere with what I wear & what I do? What about MAMA? How can I leave her!! I barely see her for straight 3 minutes every day but still…I sense her warmth

Digesting the idea of being the woman of one man is very difficult. I want to be SINGLE L but at the same time I really need somebody special in my life. What would be the solution then?!!!

No really the idea of getting married scares the hell out of me. I’m afraid of commitment & marriage is both religious & cultural eternal commitment.

What I understand right now is
I’m still young
It might be too early 4 commitment
I want to be free

I want to be SINGLE

2007-12-10T16:31:00.001+04:00

Sometimes you get stuck in the middle.

You are afraid to go for Option B because you might regret doing so. You are afraid to lose the privileges & positives you are enjoying now. You are afraid of the unknown & its consequences. You are afraid of the new challenges.

At the same time the existing option is not tolerable. Its creativity killer.

I’m stuck & no one is willing to lead me to the right path. Why it’s scary to take decisions. What is the right decision? Why its impossible to be satisfied with what you have?

2007-12-01T17:03:00.000+04:00

Is it a good idea to date a man in his 40s?

Lesson Learnt :Life is very interesting in all aspects.

Is it a good idea to date a man who is 20 yrs older than you?

Lately I discovered than it’s not a very good idea to think about dating a man in 40s! I might be wrong but they tend to be sex & desire driven.

They have spent two decades working day & night & they reached a stage in which they are ready to settle with a sex machine. So you better be extremely beautiful, tricky, manipulative, & sexy in order to pass their “Physical Examination”. Yesterday I passed his Physical Test with a C Grade. So I immediately recommended that he would look for another “OBJECT” that would “PASS HIS PHYSICAL EXAMS” with A+ Grade.

His response was that I’m so tough, defendant, hot blooded, with a fighting attitude & with no sense of humor!!

Every day I discover that they treat us as objects…..

Few days ago, mom had some visitors & among them was a woman mom hasn’t seen for about 10 yrs. Actually she was khataba who was interested to see me/evaluate me to see whether I would pass her exams too!!

She wanted a 20 years girl who would sit at home, a house made in other word. Of course I don’t meet both criteria. I can’t tolerate the idea of married women sitting at home!! Unbelievable!! In my opinion they are the most useless “living creatures” on EARTH. I really feel sorry for them. No identity, no independence, total financial reliance on the man, time wasted on gossip, cooking & cleaning….etc

In short:

She is ridicules… I will never be a house maid….
Men are ridicules….. i will never be an object….

Life with such people is a horrible place to live in. Isn't ?

I believe it’s much better to be homosexual nowadays. At least you will maintain your self respect.

TO HELL with marriage

Arab Lady

2007-12-01T00:07:00.000+04:00

Very quit tonight probably becoz of what happened. Who cares? I will never regret things I have done. Probably I have lost a chance as usual but who cares again…tomorrow I have a battle to win so I better be prepared, very convincing, & firm.

I’m not perfect & I don’t have to explain myself to every & each person….they need to accept the way I’m …

I feel like listening to a sad song….probably some thing by Hussain EL jasmi http://ozq8.com/song-12160.ram ya sneeen 3omri ah ya sneeen 3omri kifaya 7izn ya snini http://ozq8.com/song-12117.ram all ma3ah la t7akiya w latisma3a…

I don’t feel like sleeping either

2007-11-23T12:25:00.000+04:00

Is ISLAM applicable for every time & place??

Yesterday came to my mind some questions ..those questions were always part of my brain thinking activity! I have been taught since ages that Islam is a religion that is applicable for all places, conditions & times.

But Is It?

IT IS applicable when embracers comply by its direction & teaching. But do Muslims abide by Quran & Islam. The question is definitely NO.

Otherwise you won’t see such messy societies nowadays. This lead us to the question which is how come we are still enforcing Islamic Rules & Regulations in our daily , social & Judicial Life?

If women work nowadays & support their families, why we are still inheriting half what a man gets?

If the father is indifference & irresponsible, why the divorced women can’t get her kids’ custody?

If the woman is educated & successful more than her brothers & male family members, why still the man has religious influence over her?

If the woman is educated & mature, why she still needs her father’s permission to get married?

In my opinion Islam has given religious power to the man aiming to protect women, but unfortunately that led to server abuse & injustice to various segments including women.

In Islam they claim that it’s a religion that gives Freedom of Choice. However, they call for killing those who convert into another religion. Explain?!

Zillions of questions that I could find reasonable applicable convincing justifications for…Where is the way to paradise? Is there a paradise in the first place! Probably there is but in our dreams.

2007-11-23T12:16:00.000+04:00

Till When Ya Arabs

Very sad situation…..

Ridicules Judicial court system

Christian lady in prison because her dad converted into Islam 40 years ago for a short time??!!!

Rapped Lady in prison because she was in unjustified “Kholwa” with another guy in a public Place???!! Have a look at this http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/11/21/saudi.rape.lawyer/

Long List of taboo

No religious freedom

Inequality

Social injustic

Oppressing women

Male dominated society

Torture in prisons

Political corruption

Shallow media

Unemployment

Fatyeen bel 7eeet…its sucks to see how we are going backward while others are advancing

Till when? This is the question….

2007-11-10T11:29:00.000+04:00

One of my friends got engaged & I can’t hide that I do have a mixture of feelings. Happy for her & depressed at the same time as I know that she will leave Dubai for good.

Life is moving..
people are leaving,
places are changing & I’m Still at this point. Wondering at where I will end up & with whom..propably alone…

Wish you all the luck 7ayati..Happy for you & I cant wait till I see you in the white dress

Memories here & there…at Mall of the Emirates with the Alphredo Pasta or at Madinate Jumeira …what about our favorite spot at Coffee bean at Marina Walk…
Its Life

I’m really sad & emotional at this point..Will need a cup of coffee to wake up from the call…

2007-11-09T11:16:00.000+04:00

Question Going in mind….

Sometimes I wonder where women can find comfort in life. She is either having enough from her work, her family, or her husband or even her culture or all together at the same time!

Each one thinks that his/her concepts are RIGHT & MUST be FOLLOWED..something expected esp from families or MEN…!They use their religion & social power to enforce their beliefs & way of life, which I personally find ridiculous.

If you were born to a Christian family, they do expect you to embrace their values blindly same as Muslim Families.

If you are coming from a poor background, you are not expected to improve your social class & you are not allowed to dream & have ambition.

If you r coming from illiterate or conservative environment, you are not allowed to think outside the box, pursue high education, or swim against their flow.

I’m just wondering why Muslims believe they own their women. Have they bought them from the fish market or what! When will the balance of power be adjusted?

When will women ALL WOMEN get the chance to CHOOSE what to be, who to be, where to be without bearing the expensive consequences of their non-conformance actions

When will the triangle of Religion, Tradition & Sex be dissolved?

Many questions but the answers remain unknown.

Arab Lady is Back to Blogging

2007-10-02T04:17:00.000+04:00

i need to jot down my worries ...its almost 4:30 AM & i couldnt sleep...is it really worth it...either stuck in the past or thinking too much about what life is hiding for me...the present moments fly by so fast without living it..many plans...sometime i wish if can see myself from a different prespective...what does God think of me? I miss my sister & dad...what's happiness? are we happy creatures?

wish if i have wings to fly...my thoughts are not consistent & i need to go to bed....

2007-07-20T04:13:00.000+04:00

Blab blah – Fashit Khooli2 PART TWO

Its about 4:30 AM & I couldn’t go back to bed…Ahlan ahla bel sleep disorders
I’m struggling to set a budget for my department but they are a hopeless case( dan min teen w dan min 3ajeeeeeeeeeeen)
Too much work….ads…flyers…Articles to write & publish…lame advertising agencies…problems …problems…plans & I NEED 10 ppl to help me out!!!!!!!

On the other side I discovered that when it comes to men, I’m:
·So innocent
·Stupid in drawing conclusions
Nothing compared to my friends who ARE WELL EXPERIENCED IN SUCH ISSUES
· Very emotional
· Very passive
· What a man says to me he says it to ALL WOMEN HE KNOWS, SEES, TALKS TO, MEETS…………ETC

My emotional immune system is very weaaaaaaaaaaaaaak

2007-06-01T13:22:00.000+04:00

Blab Blaaaaaaaaaaaah……..Fashit Kholi2

I need a drastic change
I wish f I could live next to my work
I'm fed up with traffic
I'm fed up with my bosses

Arabs don’t know how to work in a professional way
Girls at work r crappy
Last night I discovered that my friends are fake
Last night I discovered that I feel jealous!
Just wondering why I like the wrong men all the time. Either married with kids or from a different religion
I need to quit smoking
I need to stop making accidents
I need to stop eating junk food
I need to spend time with my parents
I need to socialize more
I need to see Dr. Sultana for consultation
I don’t know if I have to call Hazem
I fed up with my double standard life
I like my nail extension
I need to relax
I like the new look of my hair
I wish if rama could visit dubai this July
I need to enjoy life
I want to go shopping again & again
i’m wondering why ppl can’t guess where I’m from.
I’m wondering why ppl have heart attack when they know where I’m from
I need to save money
I need to cut some expenses
May be I have to call Danya
I will not pay the bill again!
I miss my sister
“F” u r discusting. I hate you…aslan I hate every thing feek…ur accent, ur hair…the way u talk walk…ur laugh …I hate EVERYTHING EVERYTHING feeeeeeeeeeeeek..its enough that u r bakheeeel!
Today I prepared sweets for my male collegues at work…Sayed makes fun of me coz I don’t know cook…:S.
I need to date somebody
I wondering what life hides for me
I need to plan well for my life

Enough for today..khalas

2007-06-01T12:48:00.000+04:00

What's Your Number?

IF you were born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month you are number 1.

If you were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then you are number 2.

If you were born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then you are number 3.

If you were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then you are Number 4.

If you were born on the 5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then you are number 5.

If you were born on the 6th, 15th, 24th of any month then you are number 6.

If you were born on the 7th, 16th, 25th of any month then you are number 7.

If you were born on the 8th, 17th, 26th of any month then you are number 8.

If you were born on the 9th, 18th, 27th of any month then you are number 9.

My Num is 3!

Number 3 You are hard hearted and selfish most of the time. You always tend to have lots of problems within your family in the early stages but you will be able to cope with everything. You seem to have your way in everything.And from birth you would always have to work hard to achieve anything you want.You always make a point to set examples on others, especially the younger ones. Generally you are not a cool person. It's not easy dealing with you.A tough player you are! But once you are comfortable with someone, itwillbe a lasting friendship. You always earn respect from others. You seemtohave lots of worries and problems but they won't be for long. You will have brilliant kids! You love money a bit too much so temptation will push you to try endlessly. You will look after y! our family and help friends, soyouwill spend a life time just being generous and kind (except for men born on the 21st). You love your freedom, creative and ambitious, a person who brings beauty, hope & joy to this world!!! Your best match 6 and 9. Good match 1, 3, and 5.

Tell me wut ur num is & i'll give u what it means! Thanks North Star!

2007-04-17T21:17:00.000+04:00

I feel like yelling

Ana arfaanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I wana cigarettes NOW

2007-04-13T09:51:00.000+04:00

Arab Lady’s new label is Khataba!

For English Speaking Readers Khataba: is the woman who matches between DEMAND (potential grooms) & SUPPLY (potential brides) !It’s a practice deeply rooted in our conservative culture & work for those who are against dating & wanna Mama look for his soul mate!

Ok ok many of you gave me different labels since I started blogging: “Anti-Men”, “Anti-Muslims”, “Sick”, & “Bad Preventative of Arabs”….etc

These days, me & my friend are working as Khataba! Ya Ya imagine:)
My friend is depressed, her mother is depressed, her whole family is damn depressed..guess why? My friend’s sister is 26 and still single. The girl is really cute, educated, conservative, and traditional.. every body loves her & she is a working woman…etc BUT SHE IS STILL SINGLE. Is it shameful for her, for her family..(wasmit 3ar in other words!)?

The mother is really tired of her daughter’s situation & very concerned about her future especially that the girl is getting older. Some guys who were about to propose held their horses back when knew her age! Although they were in their thirties but a 25 or 26 year old girl is too old for them!! (Ra7mitak ya Allah 3al hal Sick-minded men). May God give us strength to tolerate such men. Amen!

I tried to nominate the girl to my relative’s cousin. I’m even spreading the word everywhere! But guess what? HIS MOM wants a tall girl! Excuse me! who the hell are you to categorize people based on their height? Who are you to pick you son’s future partner? Can’t he do that job himself?

My friend keeps calling to follow up. She is so stressed coz she can sense how uncomfortable her sister is but she doesn’t show that she is even thinking about the issue ( 3am tkaber ya3ni) The girl wanna please her mother at any cost by getting married!

I understand the mother’s concerns…she wanna see her daughter in white..she wanna see her happy at her husband’s house having a supporting back and kids…etc

But my questions are:
Are we all supposed to get married? What if we stayed singles, so what? Is it the end of the world? If they perceive me as a “SPINSTER”, is it my fault? Is marriage the path to finding the “supporting back”? Why girls are obsessed with marriage? Why FAMILY, NEIGHBORS, BROTHERS, RELATIVES give SINGLE GIRLS that pity look when they start getting older & years pass by while the girl remains SINGLE! Does marriage guarantee happiness? Is it the ultimate goal in an Arab girl’s life ? Why they put SINGLE girls under great psychological pressure so we end up making the WRONG decisions?

A very close person to my heart got married years ago to a completely incompatible guy just for the sake of escaping her reality, rumors , gossip, looks full of sarcasm..etc.

They say “We are guests at our parents’ house”! It’s true. It is true not because it’s a fact but because they make it a fact! Every body is waiting for us to leave to the golden nest!

But
If there is no nest
No groom
No supporting back
Then mourn your reality & prepare your self for your new name SPINSTER

With Love,
Your Future Arab Cute Spinster!

2007-04-07T12:04:00.000+04:00

The Forbidden Love: When A Muslim Girl Falls In Love With A Christian Guy

We grow up in conditions that we can’t change. Sometimes, we are not supposed to change them. We ask ourselves questions with lost answers. Actually we know the answer, but the truth hurts.

Last night my friend asked me why we, as Muslim girls, cant get married to non-Muslim guys. “Its not fair”, “why men cant do it while we cant”, “are we animals”, love doesn’t know boundaries & religions”, “had shi bishi3” ( its sucks in Arabic)..etc!

Her rants really shocked me not because of the subject itself but becoz I know she is going to another adventurous relationship that will lead to nothing but pain & suffering. I was like for God’s sake mish na2isna!

A male friend of her started expressing his love& that if things were different he would allow himself to fall in love with her! To him she is idealism that leads to perfection! “loved his expression by the way!” The guy is Christian, Lebanese but of Armenian descent.

“He sings brilliantly, his voice is awesome, I like the way he talks, walks, he is adventurous, romantic, all in all I LIKE HIM”!!!!

They have been friends since ages and she never ever expected him to confess his special feelings. But it sounds friendship by time might turn into love! She just likes him but I’m afraid she will start falling. I keep asking her WHY DO U ATTRACT THE WRONG GUYS!

Personally, I don’t mind getting married to a Shii’ or even Christian! But if you choose to have a babe, then what religion is he going to embrace? If both parents aren’t highly educated &open-minded, the kid will be confused, torn into two pieces & lost between two religions, Islam & Christianity. Bearing in mind that Islam doesn’t allow women to marry a non-Muslim person, the whole issue seems impossible. Sometimes we get lost in life’s complexities. She told me about her Sunni friend that has been in love with a Shii guy for about five years. Her parents keep refusing the guy! It’s the worst torture that could happen to someone. The disastrous part is that Women can’t get married without their father’s permission, or any one in his place, otherwise the whole marriage will not be recognized.

If the situation was different, I would tell that girl to go ahead and marry that guy or run away with him! My friend was like would you do so? I was like YES OF COURSE..! but the situation is not different anyways...

أسماء أمهاتنا شرف لنا

2007-04-01T14:47:00.000+04:00

Two days ago I argued with my sister about the theory of holding the mothers’ name. She desperately tried to convince me its 7aram, kufr, blab blah… So to 7ayati my sister& to every one else,

I post this old article written by Dr. Nawal Al Saadawi! Isn’t amazing! By the way, unfortunately Nawal’s latest theater play is not available at the largest bookstore in Dubai :S Help! :(

Enjoy the article!

أسماء أمهاتنا شرف لنا
بقلم د. نوال السعداوى
القاهرة 8 ابريل 2006

لماذا أثارت رغبة الكاتبة والشاعرة د. منى حلمى فى أن تحمل اسم امها مع اسم أبيها كل هذا الغضب ؟
والغريب أن غضب النساء كان أكبر من غضب الرجال
أو ربما ليس غريبا
نحن نعرف أن المسجون لسنين طويلة يخا ف الخروج من باب السجن حين يفتح .
لهذا السبب تخا ف أغلب النساء الحرية , تعودن الخضوع لسلطة الرجا ل خوفا من الطلاق أو النشوز أو فقدان ظل الأما ن فى كنف الرجل ( ظل رجل ولا ظل حيطة )
وأغلب الامهات يعاملن بناتهن بقسوة أكثر من الآباء
وهذا أمر ناتج عن القهر الطويل والعبودية الضاربة فى التاريخ منذ آلاف السنين .
سمعت آراء بعض الأساتذة العلماء فى صحيح الدين ومنهم الأستاذ جمال البنا الذى أكد على شاشة التلفزيون أن أسم الأم شرف فى الاسلام ومن المفروض أن يحمل الأطفال اسم الأم والأب معا لأنهما يشتركان معا فى انتاج الطفل بل ان دور الأم أكبر
وهناك من فقهاء الاسلام من نسب الى أمه , أبن تميمة مثلا

وفى أيامنا هذه يحمل رؤساء حكومات أسماء أمهاتهم مثل :
زاباتيرو رئيس وزراء أسبانيا
هنية رئيس وزراء فلسطين
السنيورة رئيس وزراء لبنان
وهناك رجا ل عظماء فى التاريخ نسبوا لامهاتهم منهم شكسبير ونيوتن وأينشتاين وبيكاسو وباخ
وفى التاريخ القديم حمل النبى عيسى ( المسيح ) اسم أمه مريم وكان يفخر بها وهى المرأة الوحيدة التى ذكرها القرآن باسمها مريم احتراما لشخصيتها , فالأسم جزء من شخصية الانسان , بدون اسم لا يوجد الشخص ,
تجريد الانسان من اسمه هو اهانة كبيرة , لذلك حين تدخل السجن تفقد اسمك وتتحول الى رقم .
بعض القيادات النسائية ( حاملات النظريات الاشتراكية ) مطوا شفاهم وشمخوا بأنوفهم وقالوا ما أهمية اسم الأم هناك قضايا أكثر أهمية مثل الفقر والأمية
و منهن من هى فى المجلس القومى للمرأة حاضرة على الدوام مع السيدة الأولى فى مؤتمرات مكافحة الفقر .
أما القيادات المتأسلمات فقد رددن آية " وادعوهم لآبائهم " دون فهم لمعناها وأسباب نزولها ودون ذكر لبقية الآية على غرار " ولا تقربوا الصلاة "
أما الزعيمة التى كانت شيوعية ثم أصبحت رأسمالية نيوليبرالية فقد قالت هذه فكرة مستوردة من الغرب وتدعو الى الاباحية .
وقا ل رجل يحتل وظيفة دينية أن من يحمل اسم أمه هو ابن زنا لأن اسم الأب هو الذى يعطى الشرف للأطفال
واندهشنا كيف يعاقب الطفل البرىء ويطلق عليه ابن زنا دون أن يزنى بل أبوه هو الزانى , لكن الرجل لا يعاقب بل الطفل , وسألنا أين الضمير يا شيخ ؟
وقلنا أن المجتمع الذى يعاقب الأطفا ل ليس عنده ضمير
فى بلادنا آلاف الأطفال محرومون من الشرف والحقوق الانسانية بسبب قانون النسب الأبوى القاصر على اسم الأب وحده , بسبب رغبة الأب فى توريث أبنائه من زوجته وحرمان أبنائه الاخرين رغم أنهم أبناؤه أيضا وهو الذى أنجبهم
قانون النسب الأبوى قائم على الظلم الاقتصادى والاجتماعى والأخلاقى للأطفال الأبرياء
وقلنا أن المجتمع الذى يتغنى ليل نهار بأغانى الأم يجب أن يكون اسم الأم فيه مشرفا وليس عارا
لماذا يشعر الولد بالعار حين يقولون له انت ابن أمك
والسؤال :
متى تحول اسم الأم من شرف الى عا ر فى التاريخ ؟
فى مصر القديمة كان اسم الأم مشرفا وهو الأساس
لأن الأمومة كانت الحقيقة والأبوة لم تكن معروفة فى الحضارات القديمة
وكانت المرأة ترمز الى الالهه الأم والأطفال ينسبون للأم
مع تقدم العلم واكتشاف دور الرجل فى عملية الاخصاب بدأت الأبوة تعرف
مع نشوء النظام العبودى وانقسام المجتمع الى أسياد وعبيد بدأت القوة هى التى تحكم وليس العدل وسيطر الرجال بالقوة على النساء واختفت الالهه الأم من التاريخ وظهر الاله الأب , وأصبح النسب الأبوى وحده هو القانون , وفقد النسب الأمومى قيمته , وتحول اسم الأم من شرف الى عا ر مع هبوط قيمة المرأة والصا ق تهمة الخطيئة الأولى بحواء الآثمة
تحولت المرأة من رمز الاله الى رمز الشيطان وانفصل الجسد عن الروح أو العقل
وأصبح الرجل يرمز الى العقل والروح المقدسة والمرأة ترمز الى الجسد المدنس
وبدأت الثنائيات والازدواجية فى الأخلاق والقوانين ومنها قانون الزواج الذى يجعل الرجل يملك المرأة وهى لا تملكه وله حق الطلاق وتعدد الزوجات والعلاقات خارج الزواج وحق الشرف والنسب وغيرها
أدت السلطة المطلقة فى الدولة والعائلة و الازدواجية فى القيم والمقاييس الى فساد الأخلاق اذ تمتع الرجا ل بفوضى جنسية أدت الى انتشار ظاهرة الأطفا ل غير الشرعيين يعاقبهم المجتمع وهم أطفا ل أبرياء ولا يعاقب آبائهم بل يتفاخر الرجا ل بغزواتهم الجنسية أكثر من غزواتهم العسكرية
هذا هو المجتمع الطبقى الأبوى الذى يحكم عالمنا شرقا وغربا , والذى يسعى فيه الرجا ل الى امتلاك الساطة والمال والنساء
وقد آن الأوان لكشف فساد هذا النظام الذى يؤدى الى الحرب والقتل من أجل النهب والسرقة , والى الدكتاتورية تحت اسم الحرية , والى الشرف المزيف تحت اسم الأخلاق
علينا أن نحمل أسماء أمهاتنا مع اسم الأب لأنه شرف لنا أن نعترف بفضل الأم علينا الأم التى تضحى بحياتها من أجلنا
لقد جئنا الى الحياة من داخل رحم الأم
لعبت الأم دورا أكبر من الأب فى مجيئنا الى الدنيا
فكيف يكون اسمها عارا
انها تستحق الشرف مثل الأب بل أكثر
ليست هذه قضية ثانوية بل هى قضية جوهرية تتعلق بالعدالة و الحرية والاخلاق والسياسة والاقتصاد والفلسفة والقانون والدين والعلم والفن
انها تمس حياتنا العامة والخاصة
هذه القضية ليست خاصة بالنساء فقط بل انها قضية مجتمع يسعى لاحياء ضميره الضائع منذ نشوء العبودية
منذ أصبحت القوة هى التى تحكم وليس العدل
بل انها قضية العالم الطبقى الأبوى كله الذى تسوده قوة السلاح والما ل وتراق فيه دماء الأبرياء من أجل سرقتهم ونهب مواردهم والتجارة بالجنس وأجساد النساء العارية من أجل ترويج البضائع .
سنحمل أسماء أمهاتنا من الآن فهذا هو حقنا وحقهن ومن تتنازل من حقها لا تستحق أن تكون انسانة . علينا أن نضرب النموذج لغيرنا من النساء

2007-03-30T13:55:00.000+04:00

God Resigns in the Summit Meeting

The new play, “God Resigns in the Summit Meeting”, by Dr. Nawal Al Saadawi initiated a new war between the poor writer and the religious leaders & authorities in Egypt.

In fact I guess Nawal’s imagination went way too far this time with her brave creative & critical way of writing. To Islamists, Dr. Nawal has crossed all the red, blue and purple lines by describing God & his messengers and drawing a kind of conversation between them in the play.
According to an article published in the Gulf New, Saadawi Says "My book contains nothing offensive to religion. This confiscation is a violation of the reader's right to choose and judge the worth of a book for themselves. These people want to stifle our imagination. If my ideas are questioned and suspected, they should be debated, not suppressed. A work of art should be judged by the critics, not religious clerics or government bureaucrats."
God Resigns in the Summit Meeting looks into current socio-economic and religious issues in Egypt, according to Saadawi.

"I feel worried about the future of Egypt whose young people are denied a real chance to be educated and exercise their minds. Confiscation provides a breeding ground for extremism," she said.

I’m dying to read the play. I e-mailed Mugrudy’s Bookstore to check if they do have the book. I’m not sure if I will find it in Dubai but I’ll hopefully manage to bring it from either Jordan or Lebanon. In Egypt, they got rid of 3000 copies! 7araaaaaaaaaaaaam!!! I’m a big fan of her writings but she touched an issue that is considered sensitive & taboo. I guess creativity & religion contradicts as it does contradict with liberalism.

Who doesnt know Nawal Al Saadawi? Nawal El Saadawi is a novelist, a psychiatrist, and a writer who is well known both in the Arab countries and in many other parts of the world. Her novels and her books on the situation of women have had a deep effect on successive generations of young women over the last 4 decades

I have read some of her novels like 'Women at Point Zero','Women in the Kingkom of Oil','The Death of the Last Man on Earth'and some non-fiction books like 'Woman is the Origin' &'Memories from the Women's Prison' .

I really admire this women & her way ऑफ़ thinking।I'm really sorry that she is not appreciated by her country!You might not agree with her totally but one cant deny that she is fighting for social equality, women empowerment, justice, and education।
By the way, she's really lucky to have a supporting husband!

2007-03-29T19:52:00.000+04:00

Make Poverty History

Have you ever thought about how far you have contributed to your community, to humanity’s progress? Are you another hopeless creature who is just consuming oxygen and Mother Nature’s resources?

Can you list any 10 activities or accomplishments you have done so far for the environment or humanity?
Hmm you can’t list any! Same here! Do feel ashamed like me? Believe me it’s never too late.

Make a difference today, wipe a tear, replace it with a smile, and join forces to make poverty history.

Please visit the organization’s website and have a look at what they do in Emirates:
http://www.makepovertyhistory.ae/

Be the Change You Want to See in the World- Mahatma Gandhi

Have you even read something inspiring like this! This statement charges me with loads of energy and strength. It’s my Motto from now onwards!

God Bless

Wife Beating- Only a rod will help!

2007-03-12T16:15:00.001+04:00

Missing U

2007-03-11T11:07:00.001+04:00

i miss u baba i really miss u ...i want u back in my life....i always ask God why u! i love u more than anything in life...really thank u ...although u cant do much to prtotect my little dream but i'm so proud to have a father like u...u were always there for me...missing our discussions in the balcony ...missing ur talks about me in every social gathering...missing ur unlimited support ....do u remember when we used to go for a ride by the beach...do u still remember my fav ice cream ...do u remember when we used to go shopping together...thanks 4 dropping me off to school everyday...i'm sorry 4 not showing my love to u ...have i ever said i love u dad...dont ever leave me alone...i dunno wut to do in life without u ...i love u 7abeby ...life has no meaning without ur blessings

i dedicate this song to u ...i know u love Om Kolthom as much as i love her..do u remember when we used to fight in the car ..u wanted to listen to her while i wanted to listen to Radio Sawa...and then we decide to switch the radio off and start i laughing...

wish if u were reading my lines

love u

2007-03-04T21:40:00.000+04:00

Rhonada Britten

I have 3 options:

A) Delete my online diary & go back to documentaing my thoughts using the traditional way.

B) Start a new blog without telling who the hell i'm.

C) Keep this blog but turn off the comments thing.

till now i didnt decide..

At the moment i'm reading Rhonada's book ' Change your life in 30 days' & here are some statements that caught my attention & made me really think about what they might mean to me....

' When we make things up about the way people feel or think, it only confirms our low self-worth.'
'Invest in the life you have to get the life you want.'
' How you process information creates your perceptions & perceptions creates your world.'
' Dont focus on whether or not you achieved your ultimate goal. Acknowledgments are about the journey to becoming more true to yourself, not the end result.'
' In order to gain confidence you must take the risk you dont want to take'.
' Our fears of failure keeps us from doing the things we yearn to do'.

I'm still thinking about each & every sentence i've read so far..am i gonna change my life in 30 days? this is the question!

Honor Killing Again

2007-03-02T10:49:00.000+04:00

When the civilized spirit vanishes, human beings become animals
They kill, they forget ethics, and they crown themselves as judges

A new victim in the name of culture, in the name of honor, in the name of manhood
Rest in peace
Yesterday was your turn
Tomorrow is hers

****For English speaking readers, the story is all about a Jordanian nephew who killed his aunt after seeing a man jumping from her balcony (as he claims)

Well the victim was virgin! Give me a reasonable explanation you people who ask me to be rational!

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. ~Nicole Hollander

In Deep Shit

2007-02-25T08:35:00.000+04:00

It sounds that I want to live in my own world with my own rules & it won’t work that way…my dreams of having a perfect Job & an excellent Salary ..etc were just dreams and I do have to live as a normal person who accepts what life gives her without seeking more …yesterday I received an e-mail seeking ass holes to work with them in the event management & entertainment arena…the financial benefits made me give the issue a second thought! Why not! 2 or 3 yrs and then that’s it! Plz Allah Strength my Faith in You!! My boss asked my to stay till next week so I can train the new candidate who will take my place…I dunno if I made the right choice by leaving my job! What I know that this year will be a tough one!