I was strongly mistaken when I wished my self a peaceful weekend.
On the contrary it was a very depressing, heartbreaking weekend embroidered with bloody news…
Before switching off my car engine & before the minute I stepped into our house.. my brother bombarded me with some bad news
3rifti sho sar be beet khali?? (Did you know what happened to my uncle’s house?)
I was like shit what….
It got hit by the Iseali Army
I was frozen for a minute trying to imagine what happened to Mart Khali, her daughters in law, the kids….and everybody
A five floor building located next to UNWRA office collapsed….
2 kids got injured & the family escaped searching for a safe shelter …THX GOD ejat 3a 2ad heek!However, the worst part resembles in having 3 missing cousins
Probably I have mentioned before that Khali (mom’s bro) came from Gaza a month ago on a visit to UAE…How the hell you wana inform Khali who god knows how many health problems he suffers from…diabetes, blood pressure, & heart problems, I can go on & on
We haven’t informed Mom & khali on Thursday but as u know bad news spread fast….I couldn’t help but cry …I truly panicked ….ur blood boils when u see them being killed for no reason but when u see some beloved ppl in pain & horror you cry your heart out
Mom’s relatives now are dispersed ….she doesn’t know where some of her nieces & nephews have gone…they fled their homes & went to unknown places….my two aunts are fine but they are about to lose their mind from what they see….
The worst part comes on Friday Morning when I woke up on hearing mom crying for her niece who got killed with her husband & three kids ….a missile was shot on their car while heading to the hospital!! I couldn’t imagine how her sisters feel now! They lost their mother two years back & now they lost their sister…yalla allah ..please some mercy!
May they rest in eternal peace along with those who lost their souls & those who are still falling while we do nothing…we watch them getting slaughtered
Bent khali (my cousin) who lives in UAE has lost connection with her sister too ….the last call was when she heard her screaming “they hit our home & my daughter was home”…Thank God her 3- year- old daughter didn’t get hurt but the whole building collapsed when Israel hit the house of Saeed Siyam, one of Hammas Leaders …she had her daughter after more than 12 years! What about who lose their kids in dozens….entire families have been abolished.? Who will hear their screams….
I’m wearing black until this Umah wakes up & betrayer get their punishment…
The Bitter Taste of Betrayal…Another Chapter …
Yesterday was one of the worst & longest days ever….time stopped at 9:00 am & didn’t move…
I wasn’t in the mood to work ….after duty I went shopping hoping to get better. actually yes I felt a bit better…the worst part continued when I woke up at 3:00 AM …I woke up from a horror movie indeed ….dead people again but this time I saw myself dead…I couldn’t stop crying & moved to another room….its like emotional torturing ..
Two weeks passed & I cant get over those nightmares…is it a sign? Will something wrong happen? Is it me or my family? Its like waiting for unknown mysterious fate…its getting closer from its target
I just saw my entire life in a movie for few minutes … I realized that I’m not ready at all to face death…I have never been a good Muslim….does God hate me? I can’t understand him….
I need to get those dreams explained by somebody coz I can’t tolerate such paaaaaaaaaaaain….i’m scared to sleep
One of my friends came from Canada last month… she is settled down in dubai now…her engagement party is this Friday..i cant help explain my mixed feelings….i’m happy for her but at the same time I’m sorry for myself …
Life doesn’t seem to be colorful anymore…..why do people start to lose interest in everything..things you try to engage your self with in order to get out of your dark zone…all my plans to get my brain busy have failed..sport..masters..friends…nothing worked
I’m missing something …I’m really missing something ….is it religion what I should search for
Thoughts
I would like to thank those who left comments on my last post…its so amazing to get your feedback & seek some advices based on your experience…
Wondering why some people read my blog!!!
Days pass by so fast…the weekend is around the corner ….work is ok but boring….I’m not going to the gym theses days …I knew it …my grades were ok for both midterm & project but I still have my final exam in two weeks….
Today morning my brain is occupied with the warnings about some possible terrorist attacks on UAE…I’m so confident that this would happen someday but I have no clue when…the disastrous part that I’m working in one of the potential targets which is busy with westerns & foreign companies……
How does it feel if you survived from a terrorist attack? How does it feel to know that you were able to make it while your colleges, friends, relatives or anybody at the attacked place weren’t? how much time it would take you to heal from the situation…what if I got paralyzed? Black thoughts ..black thoughts
And in case you lost your life, how doesn’t feel to know that the game is over? You are not able to do one final good deed any more. ….even you cant ask the forgiveness of people you hurt….you are not able to correct your mistakes anymore…its too late….no more chances….
What would you do if you know that today is your last day?
I would just raise my head to the sky & talk to God…I would tell him that I know that he exists ….i might not be a perfect person but whatever I have done, I have done it based on my convictions & beliefs that might be wrong or right…
Mom I don’t know if you & dad have been good parents but I know that you love me in your way….i know that I don’t express my love in the right way either but I love you both