I got Palestine’s flag!

07 January, 2009

Yesterday few of sharjah & Dubai residents participated in the silent protest held at am phi theater located in Dubai Media City…attendees lit candles & held the flags…for the first time in my life I participate in such a gathering showing solidarity to people in Gaza Strip... its an overwhelming feeling…was so lovely to see some non-Arab faces carrying some pictures of Gaza’s Massacre …although it’s a nice gesture from the volunteers who organized the event but things could have been better by having a planned program. The most important thing I feel happy about is the small flag I got….i even brought it with me to work.

Meanwhile I’m uploading more pictures on my blog, msn profile, & facebook along with sending some e-mails to all my contacts to let the world see the unseen truth….pictures speak a thousand word don’t they say so
I’m so terrified as I can see no end to this barbaric war…they hit every living spot…they bombed schools, mosques, houses, factories…it’s one of the dirtiest ethical cleansing wars ever….& the world enjoys seeing the Palestinian blood,
innocent victims falling everyday
unbelievable destruction,
children’s bodies torn into pieces
chemical weapons used against disarmed civilians
abolition of the human kind…
and the world remains silent!

I feel like singing Mawtini….
Here is the lyrics…sing with me & pass it on …beautiful words…

مَــوطِــنــي مَــوطِــنــي
الجـلالُ والجـمالُ والسَّــنَاءُ والبَهَاءُ
فـــي رُبَــاكْ فــي رُبَـــاكْ
والحـياةُ والنـجاةُ والهـناءُ والرجـاءُ
فــي هـــواكْ فــي هـــواكْ
هـــــلْ أراكْ هـــــلْ أراكْ
سـالِماً مُـنَـعَّـماً وَ غانِـمَاً مُـكَرَّمَاً
هـــــلْ أراكْ فـي عُـــلاكْ
تبـلُـغُ السِّـمَـاكْ تبـلـغُ السِّـمَاك
مَــوطِــنِــي مَــوطِــنِــي
مَــوطِــنِــي مَــوطِــنِــي
الشبابُ لنْ يكِلَّ هَمُّهُ أنْ تستَقِـلَّ أو يَبيدْ
نَستقي منَ الـرَّدَى ولنْ نكونَ للعِــدَى
كالعَـبـيـــــدْ كالعَـبـيـــــدْ
لا نُريــــــدْ لا نُريــــــدْ
ذُلَّـنَـا المُـؤَبَّـدا وعَيشَـنَا المُنَكَّـدا
لا نُريــــــدْ بـلْ نُعيــــدْ
مَـجـدَنا التّـليـدْ مَـجـدَنا التّليـدْ
مَــوطِــنــي مَــوطِــنِــي
مَــوطِــنِــي مَــوطِــنِــي
الحُسَامُ و اليَـرَاعُ لا الكـلامُ والنزاعُ
رَمْــــــزُنا رَمْــــــزُنا
مَـجدُنا و عـهدُنا وواجـبٌ منَ الوَفا
يهُــــــزُّنا يهُــــــزُّنا
عِـــــــزُّنا عِـــــــزُّنا
غايةٌ تُـشَــرِّفُ و رايـةٌ ترَفـرِفُ
يا هَـــنَــاكْ فـي عُـــلاكْ
قاهِراً عِـــداكْ قاهِـراً عِــداكْ
مَــوطِــنِــي مَــوطِــنِــي

Massacre of Gazan Children‏

05 January, 2009

لك تفي ع هيك امة بلا رجال

لاول مرة بحس انه الاحداث بتدفعني لاكون متطرفة بارائي و معتقداتي....العالم فقد الاحساس و الانسانية و شعب عم يباد و جرائم حرب بشعة عم بتسير و حكومات فاشلة عم بتخطب و تفتي بان المعبر يحق السيطرة عليه من قبل دولة مجرمة اعتقد انو بلش يخرف هالانسان يالي لا بارك الله بحياته و لا بعمله
لاول مرة بشعر اني حمساوية بامتياز و اني جدا مهيئة لاني اكون نموذج متطرف جدا لدرجة اني فقدت تعاطفي مع قتلى تفجيرات القاعدة يالي بتستهدف مواطني دول الاجرام ...هو حل مشروع طالما دم العرب مستباح
حما الله آخر رجال العالم المقاومين ....أخر الرجال على الارض و مافي بعدهم شي اسمو رجولة
خذلتهم الامة لاكن لم يخذلوا الله و لا وطنهم

For the first time I see myself so radical in my beliefs….its beyond my control…seeing people being killed in hundreds just poured into me all the hatred towards those participating in killing & starving 1.5M Palestinian

Egypt’s official standing from what is happening is disgusting! The fat pig is now talking about what is legal & not legal…..

i wish if AL Qaeda would please our hearts by hitting each & every target for Israel world wide….why have we been so against targeting them abroad?! They are a bunch of inhuman killers who were scattered all over the world …. guess what? They figured out all of the sudden that the are God’s chosen people…
your promised land is just a dream which will be vanished by Hamas
Viva Hamas

FROM BARBARIC ZIONISTS TO PALESTINIANS WITH LOVE

29 December, 2008

This lovely gallery is dedicated to the shameful, insane & blind international community

Enjoy going through each & every picture …enjoy your humanity…that what Zionists gifted Palestinians on the holiday seasons….don’t expect roses, candies or Christmas gifts as the rest of human beings would gift….


Gaza: celebrate the New Year in your own way as the rest of the world let you down today

28 December, 2008

FOR THE 300 INNOCENT SOULS LOST IN GAZA

23 December, 2008

OH MY GOD I PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSED MY EXAMS!!!!
WHOPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
: )
YALA JULY COME SOOOOOOOOON
I’M VERY HAPPYYYYY
THANKS GOD FOR MAKING MY DAY

If i were a boy......

20 December, 2008

At the moment im very pissed off ….im so convinced more than anytime that I need to pack up soon & leave this hell…..

Ya allah I just wish if I had a magical stick ….i would definitely move to another spot in the word….

Beyonce says if I were a boy even just for a day I’d roll out of bed in da morning n throw on wut I wanted & go drink beer with the guys................

would turn off my phone
Tell everyone that its broken
so they thinkthat I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
and make the rules as I go
cause I know that she’ll be faithful
waiting for me to come home ( to come home)


& I say if I were an arab boy I would be able to change my life .....



Beyonce - If I were A Boy (New)
Uploaded by Le-Tour-2Lor

What happens when u lack life interest & satisfaction

16 December, 2008

I never imagined that I would reach a stage of hopelessness in life. I’m so shocked to the extent that I’m not recognizing whom I’m. Fears surround me from everywhere. I feel I have nothing to stay for in this country. I can see no future for me here. I’m so detached from my family in a way that staying at their home becomes a complimentary thing from my side. I feel myself very old with my attitude & psychological make up which drive me to lack of satisfaction. Apparently
I’m not loving anything …I’m not enjoying whatever I do…

Ma disappeared for almost 6 months & then showed up suddenly claiming that he was being hospitalized for months ….i didn’t call him back again since our last call two weeks back...he is so sexy & charismatic but too short to be considered, otherwise I would love to give it a try !!

Actually, I totally refuse the idea of dating somebody shorter than me …
In 15 days the world will farewell 2008 & I haven’t even accomplished any of my resolutions

What a pathetic loser!!!

Blab Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

08 October, 2008

I’m so very busy these days…work work & work

what its making it worse is having my midterms next weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek…..need to dedicate this weekend to studying & only studying have no clue how I will digest 16 chapters all at once……I’m worried about my individual projects as well….my work occupies all my efforts & time ..but 7amdila I can still find time for shisha & close friends :D


Yesterday haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad fun shopping …oh gosh outlets at mall of the emirates have introduced new collections of clothes & accessoriesssssssssssss …wanted to buy EVERY THING…went to buy a shoe but ended up buying belts, accessories, make up & toppppppps….while driving back home & I felt a bit guilty as I forgot about having financial obligations these two upcoming months……………

my best friend came back from Canada after finalizing her paper & another one came back from her vacation ….another friend will relocate to Dubai & I expect him to reach Dubai by the end of this month……..

and a disastrous problem coming my way when my uncle comes to visit us sooooooooooooooooon…..dunno how long he will stay but of course gossip & troubles will start indirectly when he sees what I wear & why I come late …etc

Momy …please keep your brother awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay !

Now get to back to work

C yaaaaaaaa

Block THEN Delete

01 September, 2008

Sometimes i really feel like having a problem forgiving others. I have few incidents that I can’t come over. I just cant. Its either black or white. I know its WRONG but I just couldn’t. I haven’t spoken to some people in YEARS!

I just can’t forget. I cant forgive. Probably I cant forgive those who meant something in the past.

Having the ability to forgive is a bless! It’s truly a bless! Sometimes I cant & I know Its one of the worst traits I ever have! I admit!

Yesterday I received a Ramadan Greeting MSG from an old friend I haven’t spoken to in one & a half years. A hot discussion ended our 5 years friendship. That day I knew its over at least from my side. I just drop her off, kissed her, & asked for her forgives if I ever hurt her.

Since that time I never spoke or met her.

Every Ramdan & Eid she sends me a msg but I never reply until last Eid when I decided to at least reply with a msg. this Ramadan I just posed starring at her text msg & I wasn’t sure if I had to reply back this Ramadan as well. It’s just too hard to forget how I felt that moment.

The hot discussion wasn’t about having different opinions or so but about seeing masks falling & true feelings being disclosed & revealed…..

You just realize how stupid you were when your honesty & good intentions blinded you.

I’m so very loyal to people in a naïve way. When I give I give endlessly but when I get hurt no matter how trivial the reason might be to some I just can’t get over the incident. The person gets moved to my black list immediately!

Ending a relation with an old friend might not sound as serous as taking out a close relative from your life. They just mean nothing to me & don’t exist in my world. I’m not regretting it now & I don’t want to regret it later. But I really don’t want THOSE DELETED people in my life for good!


PS: Ramadan Kareem to ALL Fasting Muslims

To the guy of “Excuse me miss, I know who you are!”,I write to you!

27 August, 2008

Yesterday & in the middle of my grocery shopping at Emirates Mall, an Asian guy stopped me. I was like noooooooooooo way not any again! Remind me please to tell u an old story about the same incident at the same spot & time but with an Egyptian guy ;)

Anyhow, I was so suspicious about what he wanted. He asked if I’m X person working @ X company in DMC. I confirmed that I’m the same person but explained that I’m not working at that company anymore. He tried to remind me of himself...apparently I interviewed him for a job vacancy. To be honest with you, that was 2 years ago & I couldn’t remember him!

But was that a convincing reason???

I had no clue why he stopped me & initiated many topics while I still had way to go to finish what I want to buy. He was so confident & excited! His eyes & body language radiated his excitement to tell me a secret or anything confidential he knows….!!!He wanted to say something but he couldn’t know how. I was so patient until he reached the part that he could have said in the very beginning.

I know your blog! I know that you are Arab Lady!

My smile disclosed everything….I was like aha! What makes you believe I’m the same blogger?

Actually, he showed his interest to the topics I discuss & asked me about the reasons why I want to keep my blog so very private. He apologized for causing any kind of embarrassment, if any.

He was like you look very strong as we see u in real life but it’s somehow surprising to read your writing that shows a kind of battle deep inside you.

I know that you will read my post & I just want to let you know that I didn’t get embarrassed. Not at all. I will never be ashamed of my opinions nor the emotional & mental status I go through when I get pissed off or depressed.

I might look to you like a lady with a strong personality, plucky, & arrogant but at the end of the day I’m like the rest of human beings who question their cultural, religious, & social values. My blog is a spot where I mostly rant, complain, & whine about anything that upsets me. Above this & that, I’m a female with feelings, worries, dreams & sensitivity that i keep hiding…

Regarding the privacy issue, any female writing about any controversial topic is considered as a fame seeker!
So here I’m …just seeking a tiny spot on the cyber space to voice my thoughts & escape reality…it’s an online diary anyways & I’m not a writer


At any rate, I liked your courage. See you around!

Ana & My Religious Mama!

24 August, 2008

It’s so ridiculous how being a single female in a conservative culture means that you are under supervision regardless of all circumstances. Whether you are financially independent or not, whether you are above 21 or not, whether you are mature or not, you still have to abide by local tradition by force even if you don’t believe in it.

Having a religious Muslim mother is not something pleasing to deal with! When I say religious, I mean every bit of it!
I wish if I could let her understand that it’s my life. Indeed, I fed up from changing my plans & lifestyle to accommodate her frame of mind. I wish if she could figure out that I’m doing her a favor by staying at my parents’ house!

I want to scream saying I hate Hijab! I'm sick of the endless lectures about how "7aram" is it to reveal your body & hair!
I want to let her know that if I smoke or wear a short skirt it is not about showing my merchandise or hunting down a handsome groom, its about me respecting my right to exist without suppressing my self! I dont believe my body is "3awra"!

I am sick of the same broken record about “3eeeb” & “ 7aram” & “wut ppl shall I say”.
I wanna EXIST & LIVE in a world away from religious & cultural obligations that drive u to no where!

Can I have some peace without calling me almost every day asking why u are late? Where are u now? How many times shall i explain that if a truck hits me, the hospital would call her! i'm moving around with my ID with me for God's sake! so they will know who the hell i'm!

Personally, I don’t have to give explanations about why I’m late. at least this wut i believe in... I’m fully responsible for myself & my safety. I don’t need time curfew since I’m not living in a military camp! HELLOOOOOOI have the right to go wherever I want with whomever I want whenever I want! Hellllllll

She thinks I’m not convinced of Islam & its teachings that’s why I’m rebelling. At the end of the day its my life so please wake up before I lose my patience.

Your obsession about me should end; the bird will leave the nest sooner or later.

Unrelated ….inconsistent thoughts written while @ work

14 August, 2008

Fake world with frozen feelings…plastic faces…big lies….yellow smiles….black hatred…
I can no longer trust anybody …I can’t distinguish between who is honest & who is not…

My mood is not good today with all the money I spend to boost my swingy emotions….that proves that happiness stems from your brain, your attitude, your soul, & your heart

The day before my childish friend dragged me to Magic Planet @ Mall of the Emirates to play games!!!
I found it ridiculous & shameful… I was looking around myself all the time to see if anybody I know would me there! Its cool to go crazy & do things you usually don’t dare to commit!

She wanted to get our picture etched on a medal & I had to surrender to her wish especially that she will get back to her home town next week….i will definitely miss her non-stoppable madness with all the tons of the problems she has…she never stops laughing giggling jumping from here to there like a kido …sometimes I think about her & how she could survive with the endless troubles she has…she still manages to smile….weird life…or weird human beings…

04 August, 2008

This is what a wrote on 10th July, 2008-08-04

“ At this particular moment, I feel that I’m so desperate & sad,
I really lost interest in life
What makes me stay here is that I’m afraid of death…….
I have no reason anymore to stay”

I also wrote the following lines:

ماذا من طعم يبقى في الحياة “
بعدما تفقد الحياه لذتها ماذا من جمال يبقى في الوجود
بعدما تفقد الاشياء من حولتك جماليتها

تبحث عن المزيد في حين لا يرضيك ماهو الموجود
تبحث عن الذي انت لا تدري ماهوى
لكن تدرك أنه مفتاح الخلاص
“
I have the same feelings today & everday…I really wish if I can die coz I e feel I have no reason to live…..why shall I live the way destiny was set by forces beyond my capability…whats the point of positions, money, cars…education if I will eventually die

Why don’t we cut it short if we are not happy in life….i wish if death would be a peaceful end to someone’s pain

Why Arabs are bloody killers

I have read a comment by an American on You Tube commenting on the killing of the Lebanese singer, Suzan Tamem. He was right. He just asked why Arabs like to kill people!!

Yes why we have the passion towards killing others…others who differ from us

I’m sick of the bloody genes that we unfortunately inherited…..Palestinians, Lebanese, Egyptians, Sudanese, Iraqis…etc are killing each other in the name of religion, for the sake of dominance….

Diversity is a curse in the third world ….Is it God’s fault who created us differently..or its us having malfunctioning shallow-minded brains

I’m sick of seeing brothers in humanity killing each other….i’m sick of seeing people putting an end to life on Earth….

Lets live in peace for God’s sake…….

Random Thoughts

21 July, 2008

How does it feel to take off your chest a heavy burden? I just did by finishing my final exam. As mush as I was happy, I was a bit sad. My friends will be graduate next semester while I’m waaaaaaaay behind. They have jobs as well to maintain so I don’t have an excuse. I still have one year to go. I don’t want to regret putting my masters on hold but things happened the way it happened & I can do nothing about the past.

These days I don’t feel like talking to any of my family members….three days passed i haven’t seen anybody..nothing happened but I just don’t feel like talking ..listening to mom’s ranting about this & that….eft!

I should start a saving plan cause the situation is horrible…I’m not saving a penny although my salary is higher than my married brothers who have a tribe of kids!!

Thanks God, I don’t have to think about rent expenses, electricity, telephone bills, water, grocery shopping & cooking etc…..however, I’d love to be independent & settle down alone a part from sharing your privacy & life with your family….



Happy 3rd anniversary my lovely blog…I love u & I’m proud of you…I know you tolerated me in times I was happy, depressed, desperate, moody….thanks for my trustworthy friend & warm nest

Weekend Stuff

06 July, 2008

This morning I feel my head will explode …its heavy … its like carrying batikha (watermelon) I drank plenty of coffee, smoked two cigarettes, & took headache reliever …nothing is working : (

Friday was (nakad) & depressing. Didn’t feel like seeing anybody or talking to anybody…I spent all day long sleeping…. Yesterday I went to watch a movie with the “newly engaged friend”.... I watched “ AL RAyes Omar 7arb” it sucks….then we went for shisha probably my head is spinning becoz of that…or probably becoz I didn’t have enough sleep …u know I cant miss on watching Noor on MBC 4!!!

By the way I confronted my friend with what bothered me the other day…she explained her point of view & I tried to be understanding! See how good I’m ;)


Last week I sent an e-mail to my ex-boss who moved to KSA. I missed him so very much. It’s so amazing how chemistry played a role. I have been so close to him & I took plenty of time to realize that he left Dubai for good....

He replied back telling me that he laughed when he read my e-mail. He was talking about me ( as usual) in front of his colleagues who asked me to offer me a job in KSA. He seemed sooooooooo depressed.

Here is a part of what he wrote:

“thanks (……. )for your mail you makes me feel so happy
my family went to(……)I,m setting here alone , no place to go bcs i,m now single i have very restricted area to go.

any way i rely miss you and the time when we were setting together chatting about every thing our life and our future,now i cant find somebody to talk to.

let me tell one thing ,from the time i left Dubai may be you are the only person who is contacting me i don't know what wrong with the people i don't want you to feel bad i,m feeling very bad towards women you remember when i told you that i,m always feel that i,m not lucky with women , now i can feel it more , some of the girls whom i thought they are Friends they don't even answer my calls .

since i met you it was clear for me that you are different and now you prove it for me , you are rely a special person i wish we are setting now in Patti coffee taking our coffee and talking any way as they said you cant always get all what you want and some times you met people you wish you met them earlier in your life,

i don't know what i,m writing it seems that i,m very dispirit
pls keep in touch....with love "


I replied with a spirit- boasting e-mail hoping it will make him feel good. Actually my e-mail sounded like a lecture…..he is blaming women & women r blaming men..whats the hell!

Don’t get depressed my ex-moddddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir

Hope to see u sooooooooooon.

Quit or no Quit

02 July, 2008

What you would do if you have a boring job. The problem is that nothing comes as a full package its either disorganized management style, being underpaid, or having boring responsibilities.
All my ex-bosses were awesome. My current boss is awesome too.
With my ex-employer I loved my job to death, had a wonderful manager, but stress was about to destroy me mentally & I couldn’t cope with university , missed my final exam & failed the course…etc
Now I moved to a new employer, a wonderful boss as well….well paid….international com etc
But I don’t feel its fulfilling my hunger towards what I love to do …my passion towards marketing…I don’t feel such a job will add to my career path neither strengthen my skills… no knowledge gaining….
I’m programmed to have very demanding stressful jobs …having a verrrrrrrrrry relaxing job is not my cup of coffee, tea, wutevaa……I want something challenges something new everyday
I can’t be greedy at the same time…..having everything is somehow impossible
Yesterday I had dinner with my newly engaged friend …. She pissed me off to the max with a behavior that I didn’t like ….thx God I managed to control my nerves!

Goodbye Ali

01 July, 2008

I’m very sad

A fellow blogger , Sleepless in Muscat, passed away at the age of 29

I used to read his blog when I started blogging

I wish his soul will find peace wherever it exits now

May allah bless your soul ALi

24 June, 2008

Yesterday was one of the worst & longest days ever….time stopped at 9:00 am & didn’t move…
I wasn’t in the mood to work ….after duty I went shopping hoping to get better. actually yes I felt a bit better…the worst part continued when I woke up at 3:00 AM …I woke up from a horror movie indeed ….dead people again but this time I saw myself dead…I couldn’t stop crying & moved to another room….its like emotional torturing ..

Two weeks passed & I cant get over those nightmares…is it a sign? Will something wrong happen? Is it me or my family? Its like waiting for unknown mysterious fate…its getting closer from its target

I just saw my entire life in a movie for few minutes … I realized that I’m not ready at all to face death…I have never been a good Muslim….does God hate me? I can’t understand him….

I need to get those dreams explained by somebody coz I can’t tolerate such paaaaaaaaaaaain….i’m scared to sleep

One of my friends came from Canada last month… she is settled down in dubai now…her engagement party is this Friday..i cant help explain my mixed feelings….i’m happy for her but at the same time I’m sorry for myself …

Life doesn’t seem to be colorful anymore…..why do people start to lose interest in everything..things you try to engage your self with in order to get out of your dark zone…all my plans to get my brain busy have failed..sport..masters..friends…nothing worked

I’m missing something …I’m really missing something ….is it religion what I should search for

How Do i Breath

22 June, 2008

Mario - How Do I Breathe lyrics

21 June, 2008

At this very moment …I feel like shooting my sister in law for being the worst mother on Earth…I always had the feeling that she has some mental disorders that belong to her early childhood since she was oppressed by her fanatic family….

She didn’t want to have her first child & in my opinion she successfully failed in raising her three yrs old kido ….the disastrous part that she is pregnant!!!! She doesn’t like kids!! Is it not educated enough to raise kids! She has a very short temper….

I wish if I would yell at her & say that u cant even take care of a rabbit

Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!! She deliberately abuse her son

Not every women can be a good mother….childhood should be protected by a third party in case parents failed in fulfilling their responsibilities…where the hell do u find this in the Arab World!!!

Tell me how on Earth could a proper parent shout at his/her child…

I’m so upset

Dreams...Dreams...Dreams...

19 June, 2008

I’m having some weird dreams these days. I have bad feelings when I wake up. I saw my self with a bunch of relatives wearing black clothes. I understood that somebody passed away but I’m not sure who exactly. I think she was my mother if I’m mistaken.

Last week I saw myself visiting my dead aunt & her daughter. My aunt was sitting with dad but my cousin looked upset…she didn’t even want to talk to me….at the end of the dream I saw myself sitting by a harbour….no place in any of the dreams looked familiar…that weekend I spent it at home I had some fear that something bad would happen

Why relatives? Wish if I could know the meaning o f my dreams…..

The third anniversary of my blog is approaching ….three years passed & I hope to continue the habit of jotting down my annoying thoughts

Thoughts

18 June, 2008

I would like to thank those who left comments on my last post…its so amazing to get your feedback & seek some advices based on your experience…

Wondering why some people read my blog!!!

Days pass by so fast…the weekend is around the corner ….work is ok but boring….I’m not going to the gym theses days …I knew it …my grades were ok for both midterm & project but I still have my final exam in two weeks….

Today morning my brain is occupied with the warnings about some possible terrorist attacks on UAE…I’m so confident that this would happen someday but I have no clue when…the disastrous part that I’m working in one of the potential targets which is busy with westerns & foreign companies……

How does it feel if you survived from a terrorist attack? How does it feel to know that you were able to make it while your colleges, friends, relatives or anybody at the attacked place weren’t? how much time it would take you to heal from the situation…what if I got paralyzed? Black thoughts ..black thoughts

And in case you lost your life, how doesn’t feel to know that the game is over? You are not able to do one final good deed any more. ….even you cant ask the forgiveness of people you hurt….you are not able to correct your mistakes anymore…its too late….no more chances….

What would you do if you know that today is your last day?

I would just raise my head to the sky & talk to God…I would tell him that I know that he exists ….i might not be a perfect person but whatever I have done, I have done it based on my convictions & beliefs that might be wrong or right…

Mom I don’t know if you & dad have been good parents but I know that you love me in your way….i know that I don’t express my love in the right way either but I love you both

Random Thoughts

10 June, 2008

Why women get attracted to men easily. What if this man is a game player? What if he sees you as a friend. I don’t believe in traditional marriage & my sister keeps on advising me to get myself a husband within two years max otherwise khalas its over…!!!
I can sense their concern because I’ m still unmarried

What shall I do? I want to fall in love…meet him accidentally in the elevator or the mini market..he would smile at me & the story would start…ha ha what a broad imagination!!

Did I ever said that I gained 989898 killos within the past few years. I spend time early in the morning trying to fit something wearable! My belly annoys me a lot! I want my sexy body back…..at least I need to lose 5 killos… I tried weight loss & fat burner tablets but they didn’t work….yesterday I registered myself in a gym although I’m not into working out….

im bored now ..nothing much to do at work...

26 May, 2008

Update:

I'm not going to the party.....
_________________________________________________

Today my boss was trying to convince me to join him to that Gala Dinner organized by his friend's company...the perfume guy ;)

i dunno why i got some feelings that his friend asked him to invite me :)
i'm not sure if i'm going ...not sure what to do ..why not take the risk!

got to buy a sexy night outfit :)

wut if he approched me..what if he asked for my num....what if he didnt give a dame about me...

anyways i'll think about accompaying my boss...why not ...

will keep u posted

20 May, 2008

I have to go back home early because its unacceptable in our culture to see a female staying out late!

Its my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..MY…M…Y…MY

What shall our neighbors say about us? DEFINE the word LATE. What if I want to stay up late who the hell are you to interfere in my life & program it.

I have been hiding zillions of things for the sake of avoiding troubles. But actually I fed up & I couldn’t care more.

How do other females feel when they have a double standard life? How does it feel when you hide things you do & keep lying not because you think what you are doing is wrong but for the sake of getting some peace of mind.

What the fuck!

I really envy my single friends who are living alone away from their families…eft!

bad morning

13 May, 2008

Bad morning,

I have no clue what to do

I committed a crime…I hit my brother’s car @ 6 am ..its mercedies I duno what type but a sport car with one door ….he worships his car & uses it like once a month!

The car is covered & parked in front of our house…he has already left for work when I did what I did : (


Somebody will get shot this evening :( ..i dunno how I will inform him!

Shall I send him an sms? Shall I wait until he notice him self in order to avoid a bloody fight today : (

HELPPPPPPPPP

I’ll try to be positive today & forget about this incident ….
get to go

Back to work

CHRISTIAN OR NON CHRISTIAN

09 May, 2008

CHRISTIAN OR NON CHRISTIAN

If you are a frequent reader of my diary you would not be surprised to know how religion has been a problem for me when it comes to men & dating.


I don’t recall that I had ever fallen for a guy from the SAME RELIGION. All those whom we get attracted to each other ANE present a very PERFECT MATCH turn to be from a different RELIGION.

Hint: I’m picky & choosy in a way that its so very difficult to get attracted to man.

Surprisingly, my 1 zillion criteria are generally met by non muslims. I keep struggling to hold my feelings back, turn all their invitations down to get closer or give the relation a try.

Personally, I don’t get a damn about this issue. But culture & religion do. I come from a conservative background & I could jeopardize my life & safety if I ever thought of loving or marrying a Christian/Shi’i guy.

What triggled my post is a Chritian HOT HOT guy who saw me at work while meeting my boss. The partition was transparent & he was starring at me all the time; as claimed by my boss. To be honest with u I was extremely busy & didn’t notice that. But I still remember a sexy TALL BOLD guy ;)

The following day I went to his company to get some training & apparently he saw me leaving. When I get back to the office, my BOSS called me to his office & asked what the hell I have down at that company. I freaked out!

He was like what the hell I started getting calls even b4 u reaching ur office!
My blood got frozen! lol

MY BOSS ASKED ME WHAT PERFUME I WEAR! I WAS LIKE WHAT!

That guy who is in fact the regional director of the com in MENA, smelled the perfume & recognized the name of it! It was his fav perfume actually. I just passed for FEW SECONDS while approaching the elevator!

My boss is acting as a matcher now for his friend & gave me good feedback about the guy such as being so choosy as well in getting attracted to women in general.

Lets wait & see. God I know u r reading what I wrote & I would like to tell u something. I figured out that diversity of religion brought to our small world all the pain & wars.

I wish if religions don’t exist! I Wish if life was much easier & simpler. i really fed up


Will keep u posted anyways

Fashit kholi2

05 May, 2008

100% of arab men are jurks alll of them all of them ...im just wondering if i could meet only ONE MAN out of the zillions i'm seeing in my daily life


he wants to marry me he wants to c me....he lectures me regarding married women's dress code...he refuses to accept the idea of having male friends..etc CLAIMING THAT HE IS A MAN ...

where is ur manhood today when my car broke up? ur fucking dentist is more important than helping out a woman in need...a girl that u want her to be ur soul mate

i dont care about u ....aslan u dont match my expectations & criteria

i dont care about ur fucking appoitment with ur fucking dentist ..things would have changed a bit if u acted as a MAN
but deep inside i know that 99.99 % of those carying their fucking pinus are far away from being REAL MEN

just wondering why God is not sending my way some REAL Men ..they might not be existing...

wut fucking concepts they have in their mind about HOROR & MANHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD