Block THEN Delete

01 September, 2008

Sometimes i really feel like having a problem forgiving others. I have few incidents that I can’t come over. I just cant. Its either black or white. I know its WRONG but I just couldn’t. I haven’t spoken to some people in YEARS!

I just can’t forget. I cant forgive. Probably I cant forgive those who meant something in the past.

Having the ability to forgive is a bless! It’s truly a bless! Sometimes I cant & I know Its one of the worst traits I ever have! I admit!

Yesterday I received a Ramadan Greeting MSG from an old friend I haven’t spoken to in one & a half years. A hot discussion ended our 5 years friendship. That day I knew its over at least from my side. I just drop her off, kissed her, & asked for her forgives if I ever hurt her.

Since that time I never spoke or met her.

Every Ramdan & Eid she sends me a msg but I never reply until last Eid when I decided to at least reply with a msg. this Ramadan I just posed starring at her text msg & I wasn’t sure if I had to reply back this Ramadan as well. It’s just too hard to forget how I felt that moment.

The hot discussion wasn’t about having different opinions or so but about seeing masks falling & true feelings being disclosed & revealed…..

You just realize how stupid you were when your honesty & good intentions blinded you.

I’m so very loyal to people in a naïve way. When I give I give endlessly but when I get hurt no matter how trivial the reason might be to some I just can’t get over the incident. The person gets moved to my black list immediately!

Ending a relation with an old friend might not sound as serous as taking out a close relative from your life. They just mean nothing to me & don’t exist in my world. I’m not regretting it now & I don’t want to regret it later. But I really don’t want THOSE DELETED people in my life for good!

PS: Ramadan Kareem to ALL Fasting Muslims