24 June, 2008

Yesterday was one of the worst & longest days ever….time stopped at 9:00 am & didn’t move…
I wasn’t in the mood to work ….after duty I went shopping hoping to get better. actually yes I felt a bit better…the worst part continued when I woke up at 3:00 AM …I woke up from a horror movie indeed ….dead people again but this time I saw myself dead…I couldn’t stop crying & moved to another room….its like emotional torturing ..

Two weeks passed & I cant get over those nightmares…is it a sign? Will something wrong happen? Is it me or my family? Its like waiting for unknown mysterious fate…its getting closer from its target

I just saw my entire life in a movie for few minutes … I realized that I’m not ready at all to face death…I have never been a good Muslim….does God hate me? I can’t understand him….

I need to get those dreams explained by somebody coz I can’t tolerate such paaaaaaaaaaaain….i’m scared to sleep

One of my friends came from Canada last month… she is settled down in dubai now…her engagement party is this Friday..i cant help explain my mixed feelings….i’m happy for her but at the same time I’m sorry for myself …

Life doesn’t seem to be colorful anymore…..why do people start to lose interest in everything..things you try to engage your self with in order to get out of your dark zone…all my plans to get my brain busy have failed..sport..masters..friends…nothing worked

I’m missing something …I’m really missing something ….is it religion what I should search for

How Do i Breath

22 June, 2008

Mario - How Do I Breathe lyrics

21 June, 2008

At this very moment …I feel like shooting my sister in law for being the worst mother on Earth…I always had the feeling that she has some mental disorders that belong to her early childhood since she was oppressed by her fanatic family….

She didn’t want to have her first child & in my opinion she successfully failed in raising her three yrs old kido ….the disastrous part that she is pregnant!!!! She doesn’t like kids!! Is it not educated enough to raise kids! She has a very short temper….

I wish if I would yell at her & say that u cant even take care of a rabbit

Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!! She deliberately abuse her son

Not every women can be a good mother….childhood should be protected by a third party in case parents failed in fulfilling their responsibilities…where the hell do u find this in the Arab World!!!

Tell me how on Earth could a proper parent shout at his/her child…

I’m so upset


19 June, 2008

I’m having some weird dreams these days. I have bad feelings when I wake up. I saw my self with a bunch of relatives wearing black clothes. I understood that somebody passed away but I’m not sure who exactly. I think she was my mother if I’m mistaken.

Last week I saw myself visiting my dead aunt & her daughter. My aunt was sitting with dad but my cousin looked upset…she didn’t even want to talk to me….at the end of the dream I saw myself sitting by a harbour….no place in any of the dreams looked familiar…that weekend I spent it at home I had some fear that something bad would happen

Why relatives? Wish if I could know the meaning o f my dreams…..

The third anniversary of my blog is approaching ….three years passed & I hope to continue the habit of jotting down my annoying thoughts


18 June, 2008

I would like to thank those who left comments on my last post…its so amazing to get your feedback & seek some advices based on your experience…

Wondering why some people read my blog!!!

Days pass by so fast…the weekend is around the corner ….work is ok but boring….I’m not going to the gym theses days …I knew it …my grades were ok for both midterm & project but I still have my final exam in two weeks….

Today morning my brain is occupied with the warnings about some possible terrorist attacks on UAE…I’m so confident that this would happen someday but I have no clue when…the disastrous part that I’m working in one of the potential targets which is busy with westerns & foreign companies……

How does it feel if you survived from a terrorist attack? How does it feel to know that you were able to make it while your colleges, friends, relatives or anybody at the attacked place weren’t? how much time it would take you to heal from the situation…what if I got paralyzed? Black thoughts ..black thoughts

And in case you lost your life, how doesn’t feel to know that the game is over? You are not able to do one final good deed any more. ….even you cant ask the forgiveness of people you hurt….you are not able to correct your mistakes anymore…its too late….no more chances….

What would you do if you know that today is your last day?

I would just raise my head to the sky & talk to God…I would tell him that I know that he exists ….i might not be a perfect person but whatever I have done, I have done it based on my convictions & beliefs that might be wrong or right…

Mom I don’t know if you & dad have been good parents but I know that you love me in your way….i know that I don’t express my love in the right way either but I love you both

Random Thoughts

10 June, 2008

Why women get attracted to men easily. What if this man is a game player? What if he sees you as a friend. I don’t believe in traditional marriage & my sister keeps on advising me to get myself a husband within two years max otherwise khalas its over…!!!
I can sense their concern because I’ m still unmarried

What shall I do? I want to fall in love…meet him accidentally in the elevator or the mini market..he would smile at me & the story would start…ha ha what a broad imagination!!

Did I ever said that I gained 989898 killos within the past few years. I spend time early in the morning trying to fit something wearable! My belly annoys me a lot! I want my sexy body back…..at least I need to lose 5 killos… I tried weight loss & fat burner tablets but they didn’t work….yesterday I registered myself in a gym although I’m not into working out….

im bored now ..nothing much to do at work...