26 May, 2008


I'm not going to the party.....

Today my boss was trying to convince me to join him to that Gala Dinner organized by his friend's company...the perfume guy ;)

i dunno why i got some feelings that his friend asked him to invite me :)
i'm not sure if i'm going ...not sure what to do ..why not take the risk!

got to buy a sexy night outfit :)

wut if he approched me..what if he asked for my num....what if he didnt give a dame about me...

anyways i'll think about accompaying my boss...why not ...

will keep u posted

20 May, 2008

I have to go back home early because its unacceptable in our culture to see a female staying out late!

Its my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..MY…M…Y…MY

What shall our neighbors say about us? DEFINE the word LATE. What if I want to stay up late who the hell are you to interfere in my life & program it.

I have been hiding zillions of things for the sake of avoiding troubles. But actually I fed up & I couldn’t care more.

How do other females feel when they have a double standard life? How does it feel when you hide things you do & keep lying not because you think what you are doing is wrong but for the sake of getting some peace of mind.

What the fuck!

I really envy my single friends who are living alone away from their families…eft!

bad morning

13 May, 2008

Bad morning,

I have no clue what to do

I committed a crime…I hit my brother’s car @ 6 am ..its mercedies I duno what type but a sport car with one door ….he worships his car & uses it like once a month!

The car is covered & parked in front of our house…he has already left for work when I did what I did : (

Somebody will get shot this evening :( ..i dunno how I will inform him!

Shall I send him an sms? Shall I wait until he notice him self in order to avoid a bloody fight today : (


I’ll try to be positive today & forget about this incident ….
get to go

Back to work


09 May, 2008

If you are a frequent reader of my diary you would not be surprised to know how religion has been a problem for me when it comes to men & dating.

I don’t recall that I had ever fallen for a guy from the SAME RELIGION. All those whom we get attracted to each other ANE present a very PERFECT MATCH turn to be from a different RELIGION.

Hint: I’m picky & choosy in a way that its so very difficult to get attracted to man.

Surprisingly, my 1 zillion criteria are generally met by non muslims. I keep struggling to hold my feelings back, turn all their invitations down to get closer or give the relation a try.

Personally, I don’t get a damn about this issue. But culture & religion do. I come from a conservative background & I could jeopardize my life & safety if I ever thought of loving or marrying a Christian/Shi’i guy.

What triggled my post is a Chritian HOT HOT guy who saw me at work while meeting my boss. The partition was transparent & he was starring at me all the time; as claimed by my boss. To be honest with u I was extremely busy & didn’t notice that. But I still remember a sexy TALL BOLD guy ;)

The following day I went to his company to get some training & apparently he saw me leaving. When I get back to the office, my BOSS called me to his office & asked what the hell I have down at that company. I freaked out!

He was like what the hell I started getting calls even b4 u reaching ur office!
My blood got frozen! lol


That guy who is in fact the regional director of the com in MENA, smelled the perfume & recognized the name of it! It was his fav perfume actually. I just passed for FEW SECONDS while approaching the elevator!

My boss is acting as a matcher now for his friend & gave me good feedback about the guy such as being so choosy as well in getting attracted to women in general.

Lets wait & see. God I know u r reading what I wrote & I would like to tell u something. I figured out that diversity of religion brought to our small world all the pain & wars.

I wish if religions don’t exist! I Wish if life was much easier & simpler. i really fed up

Will keep u posted anyways

Fashit kholi2

05 May, 2008

100% of arab men are jurks alll of them all of them ...im just wondering if i could meet only ONE MAN out of the zillions i'm seeing in my daily life

he wants to marry me he wants to c me....he lectures me regarding married women's dress code...he refuses to accept the idea of having male friends..etc CLAIMING THAT HE IS A MAN ...

where is ur manhood today when my car broke up? ur fucking dentist is more important than helping out a woman in need...a girl that u want her to be ur soul mate

i dont care about u ....aslan u dont match my expectations & criteria

i dont care about ur fucking appoitment with ur fucking dentist ..things would have changed a bit if u acted as a MAN
but deep inside i know that 99.99 % of those carying their fucking pinus are far away from being REAL MEN

just wondering why God is not sending my way some REAL Men ..they might not be existing...

wut fucking concepts they have in their mind about HOROR & MANHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

02 May, 2008

I’m really tired. I know the solution is easy but I wish if I could change things unchangeable in my life. I fed up from instability. I wish if I could write everything on this wall. Knowing that somebody can read my thoughts upsets me & forbid me from writing what I want!


I want to settle down I want something guaranteed
Where am I going? I really made a decision that affected my career path…I’m way behind regarding my masters ….not able to communicate at all with the ppl I’m living with
Till when I have to tolerate the gap btw us…its so unbelievable to live with somebody for the sake of being obligatory

Your agenda & life should be programmed the way they want
You should eat, think, behave ,talk ,act ,wear, & walk the way they want
You should embrace their religion, thoughts, & tradition

I’m tired of acting to satisfy them & myself at the sometime

I wish if I could scream & let them know WHAT I M & WHAT I WANT TO BE ..

its my years thats flying by..its my youth .. Its my life…

I want to enforce my options my wants my plans for my life….i don’t want to compromise for nothing ….

Some ppl’s extistance might be a reason to move forward

Some ppl’s existabnce might be a reason to move backward
Disturbing existence

Enough ranting for today!