Showing posts with label Women and Culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Women and Culture. Show all posts

If your religion does not change you, change your religion

21 January, 2009

**** If your religion does not change you, change your religion****

An inspiring quote I came across yesterday….its by Elbert Hubbard..
I have been thinking a lot about this sentence ….my sister threw some comments last night when she said
you are not in need of us…nor do we …but remember that one day you will be asked about your deeds!!

Shall women compromise in the name of religion?
Shall I surrender submit ….accept the current situation & tolerate more shit because allah will punish me if I wanna go against the current flow!!! So surprising that she wants me to experience what she has gone through! Advocates of misery!

I’m just asking when can religion become a burden on Mankind!! So would you change your religion if it didn’t change you!

My Life in a boooook

20 January, 2009




Today while I’m heading to office I had the idea of turning my blog into a diary published to the public…the only difference would be sharing my thoughts on every thing ...its not an experience of not being a thinker, scientist, politician but an Arab female living in a Muslim conservative male dominated cultures….

I don’t know if my life details & the obstacles I faced & I’m still facing would inspire young ladies out there….i reached to a point that I cant compromise anymore….some people accuse me of being too ambiguous …they cant understand that I’m tired of hiding many things I kept secret for years…

i have been restricted to practice my rights just becoz of gender issues….i have missed out on lots of opportunities & chances that could have pushed me steps forward….

Sometimes I wish if I could write about every thing & anything on this webpage without being afraid of revealing my identity or discovering who I’m ……….

No one on earth knows that I have been sexually harassed in my childhood ..one of the incidents was by close ppl..i wish if I could know mom’s reaction when she discovers who tried to sexually molest me when I was 6 years old…..

I would also tell my story with Hija which i put it on for a certain time ....then I couldn’t tolerate it anymore…being a non-hejabi now put me under the criticism zone for ever…I have got many things to say to the world…most importantly to the fucking culture….

i will really work hard to make this idea come true … even if I couldn’t change my life…my experience would change the life of many young ambitious ladies ….i wont reveal my identity as it will always remain Arab Lady …i really hope to accomplish this dream by the end of 2009….i will just write it publish it & distribute it FOR FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

If i were a boy......

20 December, 2008

At the moment im very pissed off ….im so convinced more than anytime that I need to pack up soon & leave this hell…..

Ya allah I just wish if I had a magical stick ….i would definitely move to another spot in the word….

Beyonce says if I were a boy even just for a day I’d roll out of bed in da morning n throw on wut I wanted & go drink beer with the guys................

would turn off my phone
Tell everyone that its broken
so they thinkthat I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
and make the rules as I go
cause I know that she’ll be faithful
waiting for me to come home ( to come home)


& I say if I were an arab boy I would be able to change my life .....



Beyonce - If I were A Boy (New)
Uploaded by Le-Tour-2Lor

Ana & My Religious Mama!

24 August, 2008



It’s so ridiculous how being a single female in a conservative culture means that you are under supervision regardless of all circumstances. Whether you are financially independent or not, whether you are above 21 or not, whether you are mature or not, you still have to abide by local tradition by force even if you don’t believe in it.

Having a religious Muslim mother is not something pleasing to deal with! When I say religious, I mean every bit of it!
I wish if I could let her understand that it’s my life. Indeed, I fed up from changing my plans & lifestyle to accommodate her frame of mind. I wish if she could figure out that I’m doing her a favor by staying at my parents’ house!

I want to scream saying I hate Hijab! I'm sick of the endless lectures about how "7aram" is it to reveal your body & hair!
I want to let her know that if I smoke or wear a short skirt it is not about showing my merchandise or hunting down a handsome groom, its about me respecting my right to exist without suppressing my self! I dont believe my body is "3awra"!

I am sick of the same broken record about “3eeeb” & “ 7aram” & “wut ppl shall I say”.
I wanna EXIST & LIVE in a world away from religious & cultural obligations that drive u to no where!

Can I have some peace without calling me almost every day asking why u are late? Where are u now? How many times shall i explain that if a truck hits me, the hospital would call her! i'm moving around with my ID with me for God's sake! so they will know who the hell i'm!

Personally, I don’t have to give explanations about why I’m late. at least this wut i believe in... I’m fully responsible for myself & my safety. I don’t need time curfew since I’m not living in a military camp! HELLOOOOOOI have the right to go wherever I want with whomever I want whenever I want! Hellllllll

She thinks I’m not convinced of Islam & its teachings that’s why I’m rebelling. At the end of the day its my life so please wake up before I lose my patience.
Your obsession about me should end; the bird will leave the nest sooner or later.

05 April, 2008

خرابييييش: أمنية و سؤال محير

خطرت على بالي فكرة جميلة جدا اتمنى تطبيقها في الوطن العربي. ( يا ريييت يعني)

معجبة بفكرة وضع الاب الذي يزوج ابنته القاصر ( أقل من 21) في السجن و اتهام زوج" الهنا" بتهمة الاغتصاب

ياسلام!!! ياترى كم من الاباء و الازواج (المغتصبين) سوف نضع نحن النساء في السجون!!

و احلى شى وضع صورة الاثنين على صفحة المجرمين المحتملين!!


الاجمل من ذلك في مجتمعاتنا هو اعتبار الفتاه التي في منتصف العشرينات ( عانس رسمي) و ان الفرص باتت شبه معدومة!

بسبب حب "الننوس عين أمه" الشاب الثلاثيني و الاربعيني للزواج من طفلة عمرها 18 سنة

صراحة و بدون لف و دوران أي شاب لديه مثل هكذا تفكير لا يناسب ان يكون شريك حياه لفتاه عاقلة متعلمة منفتحة و معتمده على نفسها

وارى ان اي فتاه لم تبلغ العشرين و تريد الزواج هي مجرد فتاه جد بلهاء قبلت ان يكون
جسدها "الفرش" أداة لامتاع الشاب يالي طال عمره يسمى بانه "ناضج"

سؤال؟ اذا الشب العربي يختار فتاه المستوى التعليم المتوسط و الثانوي،

إذا فمن سيتزوج الجامعيات و سيدات الاعمال اللواتي "نحتن في الصخر" للوصول لطموحاتهن

سؤال وجيه؟

الاجابة لي شخصيا سهلة: زواج عرفي يالاضافة إلى تنبي طفل!

و لا مزلة السي السيد بسلامتو!

29 March, 2008

Kalam Niswaaaaaan (my story with my sisters in law)- Part ONE

I foresee a potential bloody fight with my sisters-in-law these days : ) …isn’t lovely!

My 9 year old niece has a blabbing tongue exactly like her mother. Both of them have no clue how to use their brain cells in something useful except BLABLAAAAAABING.

(El mohim), the other day I asked my niece about what she wants to be in the future when she grows up. The shocking answer was that she doesn’t think of going to college. For her Grade 10 is more than enough!!!

So I spontaneously replied: “ you want to be like your mother & ur aunt (my other sister in law)???!!!!!!!!

Why on Earth a girl whose age is 9 would love to stay at home & get married? Of course becoz she doesn’t see some leading role models around her. She sees women who clean, cook, speak 132356598 words per second, & get pregnant every 9 months!!

I’m very concerned about the quality of the upcoming generations of my family!! I’m serious about it!

I’m so upset too coz my brothers don’t tend to choose intellectual educated ladies which will be reflected on their kids later on!

I have 2 sisters in law whose maximum level of education is a High School degree!!! Another one s a drop out!! My brother tried to convince her to continue but she refused!

(El mohim), my sisters in law protested! They spoke with my sister about what Hiba means when she said” you want to become like your mother & aunt”

My sister got embarrassed :)

I told her if they want an explanation, im ready!!

01 December, 2007

Is it a good idea to date a man in his 40s?

Lesson Learnt :Life is very interesting in all aspects.

Is it a good idea to date a man who is 20 yrs older than you?

Lately I discovered than it’s not a very good idea to think about dating a man in 40s! I might be wrong but they tend to be sex & desire driven.

They have spent two decades working day & night & they reached a stage in which they are ready to settle with a sex machine. So you better be extremely beautiful, tricky, manipulative, & sexy in order to pass their “Physical Examination”. Yesterday I passed his Physical Test with a C Grade. So I immediately recommended that he would look for another “OBJECT” that would “PASS HIS PHYSICAL EXAMS” with A+ Grade.

His response was that I’m so tough, defendant, hot blooded, with a fighting attitude & with no sense of humor!!

Every day I discover that they treat us as objects…..

Few days ago, mom had some visitors & among them was a woman mom hasn’t seen for about 10 yrs. Actually she was khataba who was interested to see me/evaluate me to see whether I would pass her exams too!!

She wanted a 20 years girl who would sit at home, a house made in other word. Of course I don’t meet both criteria. I can’t tolerate the idea of married women sitting at home!! Unbelievable!! In my opinion they are the most useless “living creatures” on EARTH. I really feel sorry for them. No identity, no independence, total financial reliance on the man, time wasted on gossip, cooking & cleaning….etc

In short:


She is ridicules… I will never be a house maid….
Men are ridicules….. i will never be an object….

Life with such people is a horrible place to live in. Isn't ?


I believe it’s much better to be homosexual nowadays. At least you will maintain your self respect.

TO HELL with marriage

Arab Lady

23 November, 2007


Till When Ya Arabs

Very sad situation…..

Ridicules Judicial court system

Christian lady in prison because her dad converted into Islam 40 years ago for a short time??!!!

Rapped Lady in prison because she was in unjustified “Kholwa” with another guy in a public Place???!! Have a look at this
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/11/21/saudi.rape.lawyer/


Long List of taboo


No religious freedom

Inequality

Social injustic

Oppressing women

Male dominated society

Torture in prisons

Political corruption

Shallow media

Unemployment

Fatyeen bel 7eeet…its sucks to see how we are going backward while others are advancing

Till when? This is the question….


13 April, 2007

Arab Lady’s new label is Khataba!

For English Speaking Readers Khataba: is the woman who matches between DEMAND (potential grooms) & SUPPLY (potential brides) !It’s a practice deeply rooted in our conservative culture & work for those who are against dating & wanna Mama look for his soul mate!

Ok ok many of you gave me different labels since I started blogging: “Anti-Men”, “Anti-Muslims”, “Sick”, & “Bad Preventative of Arabs”….etc

These days, me & my friend are working as Khataba! Ya Ya imagine:)
My friend is depressed, her mother is depressed, her whole family is damn depressed..guess why? My friend’s sister is 26 and still single. The girl is really cute, educated, conservative, and traditional.. every body loves her & she is a working woman…etc BUT SHE IS STILL SINGLE. Is it shameful for her, for her family..(
wasmit 3ar in other words!)?

The mother is really tired of her daughter’s situation & very concerned about her future especially that the girl is getting older. Some guys who were about to propose held their horses back when knew her age! Although they were in their thirties but a 25 or 26 year old girl is too old for them!! (Ra7mitak ya Allah 3al hal Sick-minded men). May God give us strength to tolerate such men. Amen!

I tried to nominate the girl to my relative’s cousin. I’m even spreading the word everywhere! But guess what? HIS MOM wants a tall girl! Excuse me! who the hell are you to categorize people based on their height? Who are you to pick you son’s future partner? Can’t he do that job himself?

My friend keeps calling to follow up. She is so stressed coz she can sense how uncomfortable her sister is but she doesn’t show that she is even thinking about the issue (
3am tkaber ya3ni) The girl wanna please her mother at any cost by getting married!

I understand the mother’s concerns…she wanna see her daughter in white..she wanna see her happy at her husband’s house having a supporting back and kids…etc
But my questions are:
Are we all supposed to get married? What if we stayed singles, so what? Is it the end of the world? If they perceive me as a “SPINSTER”, is it my fault? Is marriage the path to finding the “supporting back”? Why girls are obsessed with marriage? Why FAMILY, NEIGHBORS, BROTHERS, RELATIVES give SINGLE GIRLS that pity look when they start getting older & years pass by while the girl remains SINGLE! Does marriage guarantee happiness? Is it the ultimate goal in an Arab girl’s life ? Why they put SINGLE girls under great psychological pressure so we end up making the WRONG decisions?

A very close person to my heart got married years ago to a completely incompatible guy just for the sake of escaping her reality, rumors , gossip, looks full of sarcasm..etc.

They say “We are guests at our parents’ house”! It’s true. It is true not because it’s a fact but because they make it a fact! Every body is waiting for us to leave to the golden nest!

But
If there is no nest
No groom
No supporting back
Then mourn your reality & prepare your self for your new name SPINSTER


With Love,
Your Future Arab Cute
Spinster!

07 April, 2007

The Forbidden Love: When A Muslim Girl Falls In Love With A Christian Guy
We grow up in conditions that we can’t change. Sometimes, we are not supposed to change them. We ask ourselves questions with lost answers. Actually we know the answer, but the truth hurts.

Last night my friend asked me why we, as Muslim girls, cant get married to non-Muslim guys. “Its not fair”, “why men cant do it while we cant”, “are we animals”, love doesn’t know boundaries & religions”, “had shi bishi3” ( its sucks in Arabic)..etc!

Her rants really shocked me not because of the subject itself but becoz I know she is going to another adventurous relationship that will lead to nothing but pain & suffering. I was like for God’s sake mish na2isna!

A male friend of her started expressing his love& that if things were different he would allow himself to fall in love with her! To him she is idealism that leads to perfection! “loved his expression by the way!” The guy is Christian, Lebanese but of Armenian descent.

“He sings brilliantly, his voice is awesome, I like the way he talks, walks, he is adventurous, romantic, all in all I LIKE HIM”!!!!

They have been friends since ages and she never ever expected him to confess his special feelings. But it sounds friendship by time might turn into love! She just likes him but I’m afraid she will start falling. I keep asking her WHY DO U ATTRACT THE WRONG GUYS!

Personally, I don’t mind getting married to a Shii’ or even Christian! But if you choose to have a babe, then what religion is he going to embrace? If both parents aren’t highly educated &open-minded, the kid will be confused, torn into two pieces & lost between two religions, Islam & Christianity. Bearing in mind that Islam doesn’t allow women to marry a non-Muslim person, the whole issue seems impossible. Sometimes we get lost in life’s complexities. She told me about her Sunni friend that has been in love with a Shii guy for about five years. Her parents keep refusing the guy! It’s the worst torture that could happen to someone. The disastrous part is that Women can’t get married without their father’s permission, or any one in his place, otherwise the whole marriage will not be recognized.

If the situation was different, I would tell that girl to go ahead and marry that guy or run away with him! My friend was like would you do so? I was like YES OF COURSE..! but the situation is not different anyways...

أسماء أمهاتنا شرف لنا

01 April, 2007

Two days ago I argued with my sister about the theory of holding the mothers’ name. She desperately tried to convince me its 7aram, kufr, blab blah… So to 7ayati my sister& to every one else,
I post this old article written by Dr. Nawal Al Saadawi! Isn’t amazing! By the way, unfortunately Nawal’s latest theater play is not available at the largest bookstore in Dubai :S Help! :(

Enjoy the article!

أسماء أمهاتنا شرف لنا
بقلم د. نوال السعداوى
القاهرة 8 ابريل 2006
لماذا أثارت رغبة الكاتبة والشاعرة د. منى حلمى فى أن تحمل اسم امها مع اسم أبيها كل هذا الغضب ؟
والغريب أن غضب النساء كان أكبر من غضب الرجال
أو ربما ليس غريبا
نحن نعرف أن المسجون لسنين طويلة يخا ف الخروج من باب السجن حين يفتح .
لهذا السبب تخا ف أغلب النساء الحرية , تعودن الخضوع لسلطة الرجا ل خوفا من الطلاق أو النشوز أو فقدان ظل الأما ن فى كنف الرجل ( ظل رجل ولا ظل حيطة )
وأغلب الامهات يعاملن بناتهن بقسوة أكثر من الآباء
وهذا أمر ناتج عن القهر الطويل والعبودية الضاربة فى التاريخ منذ آلاف السنين .
سمعت آراء بعض الأساتذة العلماء فى صحيح الدين ومنهم الأستاذ جمال البنا الذى أكد على شاشة التلفزيون أن أسم الأم شرف فى الاسلام ومن المفروض أن يحمل الأطفال اسم الأم والأب معا لأنهما يشتركان معا فى انتاج الطفل بل ان دور الأم أكبر
وهناك من فقهاء الاسلام من نسب الى أمه , أبن تميمة مثلا


وفى أيامنا هذه يحمل رؤساء حكومات أسماء أمهاتهم مثل :
زاباتيرو رئيس وزراء أسبانيا
هنية رئيس وزراء فلسطين
السنيورة رئيس وزراء لبنان
وهناك رجا ل عظماء فى التاريخ نسبوا لامهاتهم منهم شكسبير ونيوتن وأينشتاين وبيكاسو وباخ
وفى التاريخ القديم حمل النبى عيسى ( المسيح ) اسم أمه مريم وكان يفخر بها وهى المرأة الوحيدة التى ذكرها القرآن باسمها مريم احتراما لشخصيتها , فالأسم جزء من شخصية الانسان , بدون اسم لا يوجد الشخص ,
تجريد الانسان من اسمه هو اهانة كبيرة , لذلك حين تدخل السجن تفقد اسمك وتتحول الى رقم .
بعض القيادات النسائية ( حاملات النظريات الاشتراكية ) مطوا شفاهم وشمخوا بأنوفهم وقالوا ما أهمية اسم الأم هناك قضايا أكثر أهمية مثل الفقر والأمية
و منهن من هى فى المجلس القومى للمرأة حاضرة على الدوام مع السيدة الأولى فى مؤتمرات مكافحة الفقر .
أما القيادات المتأسلمات فقد رددن آية " وادعوهم لآبائهم " دون فهم لمعناها وأسباب نزولها ودون ذكر لبقية الآية على غرار " ولا تقربوا الصلاة "
أما الزعيمة التى كانت شيوعية ثم أصبحت رأسمالية نيوليبرالية فقد قالت هذه فكرة مستوردة من الغرب وتدعو الى الاباحية .
وقا ل رجل يحتل وظيفة دينية أن من يحمل اسم أمه هو ابن زنا لأن اسم الأب هو الذى يعطى الشرف للأطفال
واندهشنا كيف يعاقب الطفل البرىء ويطلق عليه ابن زنا دون أن يزنى بل أبوه هو الزانى , لكن الرجل لا يعاقب بل الطفل , وسألنا أين الضمير يا شيخ ؟
وقلنا أن المجتمع الذى يعاقب الأطفا ل ليس عنده ضمير
فى بلادنا آلاف الأطفال محرومون من الشرف والحقوق الانسانية بسبب قانون النسب الأبوى القاصر على اسم الأب وحده , بسبب رغبة الأب فى توريث أبنائه من زوجته وحرمان أبنائه الاخرين رغم أنهم أبناؤه أيضا وهو الذى أنجبهم
قانون النسب الأبوى قائم على الظلم الاقتصادى والاجتماعى والأخلاقى للأطفال الأبرياء
وقلنا أن المجتمع الذى يتغنى ليل نهار بأغانى الأم يجب أن يكون اسم الأم فيه مشرفا وليس عارا
لماذا يشعر الولد بالعار حين يقولون له انت ابن أمك
والسؤال :
متى تحول اسم الأم من شرف الى عا ر فى التاريخ ؟
فى مصر القديمة كان اسم الأم مشرفا وهو الأساس
لأن الأمومة كانت الحقيقة والأبوة لم تكن معروفة فى الحضارات القديمة
وكانت المرأة ترمز الى الالهه الأم والأطفال ينسبون للأم
مع تقدم العلم واكتشاف دور الرجل فى عملية الاخصاب بدأت الأبوة تعرف
مع نشوء النظام العبودى وانقسام المجتمع الى أسياد وعبيد بدأت القوة هى التى تحكم وليس العدل وسيطر الرجال بالقوة على النساء واختفت الالهه الأم من التاريخ وظهر الاله الأب , وأصبح النسب الأبوى وحده هو القانون , وفقد النسب الأمومى قيمته , وتحول اسم الأم من شرف الى عا ر مع هبوط قيمة المرأة والصا ق تهمة الخطيئة الأولى بحواء الآثمة
تحولت المرأة من رمز الاله الى رمز الشيطان وانفصل الجسد عن الروح أو العقل
وأصبح الرجل يرمز الى العقل والروح المقدسة والمرأة ترمز الى الجسد المدنس
وبدأت الثنائيات والازدواجية فى الأخلاق والقوانين ومنها قانون الزواج الذى يجعل الرجل يملك المرأة وهى لا تملكه وله حق الطلاق وتعدد الزوجات والعلاقات خارج الزواج وحق الشرف والنسب وغيرها
أدت السلطة المطلقة فى الدولة والعائلة و الازدواجية فى القيم والمقاييس الى فساد الأخلاق اذ تمتع الرجا ل بفوضى جنسية أدت الى انتشار ظاهرة الأطفا ل غير الشرعيين يعاقبهم المجتمع وهم أطفا ل أبرياء ولا يعاقب آبائهم بل يتفاخر الرجا ل بغزواتهم الجنسية أكثر من غزواتهم العسكرية
هذا هو المجتمع الطبقى الأبوى الذى يحكم عالمنا شرقا وغربا , والذى يسعى فيه الرجا ل الى امتلاك الساطة والمال والنساء
وقد آن الأوان لكشف فساد هذا النظام الذى يؤدى الى الحرب والقتل من أجل النهب والسرقة , والى الدكتاتورية تحت اسم الحرية , والى الشرف المزيف تحت اسم الأخلاق
علينا أن نحمل أسماء أمهاتنا مع اسم الأب لأنه شرف لنا أن نعترف بفضل الأم علينا الأم التى تضحى بحياتها من أجلنا
لقد جئنا الى الحياة من داخل رحم الأم
لعبت الأم دورا أكبر من الأب فى مجيئنا الى الدنيا
فكيف يكون اسمها عارا
انها تستحق الشرف مثل الأب بل أكثر
ليست هذه قضية ثانوية بل هى قضية جوهرية تتعلق بالعدالة و الحرية والاخلاق والسياسة والاقتصاد والفلسفة والقانون والدين والعلم والفن
انها تمس حياتنا العامة والخاصة
هذه القضية ليست خاصة بالنساء فقط بل انها قضية مجتمع يسعى لاحياء ضميره الضائع منذ نشوء العبودية
منذ أصبحت القوة هى التى تحكم وليس العدل
بل انها قضية العالم الطبقى الأبوى كله الذى تسوده قوة السلاح والما ل وتراق فيه دماء الأبرياء من أجل سرقتهم ونهب مواردهم والتجارة بالجنس وأجساد النساء العارية من أجل ترويج البضائع .
سنحمل أسماء أمهاتنا من الآن فهذا هو حقنا وحقهن ومن تتنازل من حقها لا تستحق أن تكون انسانة . علينا أن نضرب النموذج لغيرنا من النساء

Wife Beating- Only a rod will help!

12 March, 2007

16 February, 2007


I can’t understand one thing about Arab Men. Actually I don’t understand anything about them.

Why they are game players! Why they cheat? Why they play around with the woman’s feelings? Why they torture us just to have fun?

Do you remember the story of my friend & the married man?
His wife kept calling my friend yesterday! She wants divorce? Imagine she has two kids and pregnant! She can’t tolerate his childish disrespectful behaviors any more!

I agree with her. If I were her, I would go for divorce what so ever! The poor woman is pregnant; me & my friend are really concerned about her and the baby!

Her bustard husband is sick! I’m sure he is sick! To have relations with zillions of girls while you are a father of two amazing sons, husband & Muslim is shameful.
I really can’t digest what kind of horrible men you are!

Let’s pray for the women! May God fill your heart with peace! Even if I don’t know you, I really support you. The kids will suffer but at least it was their dad’s decision to disrespect the marriage bond.

Yesterday I felt that I’m so cheap. I have been deceived. I have been fooled. I was just a name on Mr. Casanova’s LONG list. I duno if he was testing me to verify whether I’m qualified or not. My friend tried to explain that men in our culture never respect the woman they date! They never think seriously of her. WHY!!! What a mentality! What about the girls who don’t believe in the traditional marriage!

I’m really tired! Tired of people, tired of the way they think! Men don’t respect the uncovered women, men don’t don’t respect women they date, men don’t , men do , men men men…

I cleaned the list of contacts saved on my mobile on the valentine’s day. I promised to stop thinking about wrong people I met in my life. I really wana forget the bad experience I have been through. My depressing friend doesn’t help me to do so. She is pulling me down but I’m trying my best not to sink. She will go to a physiologist tomorrow so I might join to give support. She is obsessed with getting engaged! Any 3areees around! Let it me know!

Quik hi to:

Summer, UAE Allias( don’t tell me you deleted your blog, I forgot to ask u about it!), Abed Hamdan, 3anooda, Feras, Abu Faris & Madamto! (stop eating man!), Sabra, Arab Women (Yalla Start Blogging!), Jumana, CLAAAAAAAAAAy (where in sharjah by the way!!), dinoooooooooooo & her Cow (mafi Hi to Hamoda taba3ik!! Ana my blog is anti-men), Habebti Digital Niqabi, Arima, Dubai Guy, D, Hanaaaaaaaaaan (tawli bali3 3al 3alam sitna ;) ), Karrrrrrrrima ( I don’t advice u to move to dubai karima), Faisal, Mohamad (how Is the new job)…Sha’raaaaaaaa 7abibty, Moe, Nash, Hajaj, Danah and every body!

Mmmm taba3an Mr. Khaled Nazal, Adel, & Mr. Quider (ya khayee batel tlatish fina!, at any rate, I dunno taltishak mit el 3asal 3a albi dunno why!)

I say Hi to North Star taba3an( thanks 4 ur sweet e-mails), John Orford, Gregory Delhaye (are u going to offer me a job ;) ), My anonymous readers who send me E-mails..


I am so excited, I will go to dubai Airport this afternoon to welcome a friend coming from Qatar ( I haven’t seen her for 6 years!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I feel I wanna talk talk & talk..i do have things to say about my work, boss, blab blah…

Yalla to be continued…

Yalla have a wonderful day..
Love you,

Arab Lady

18 November, 2006

Quick BUT LONG UPDATE!
Buon Giorno,
My mood is super, amazing & I’m HAPPY these days! Socially active and have lots of love & heart breaking stories that I chit chatted with my friends during the pervious days but guess wut no more sharing details with you guys! Oh sooooooooooo excited too. My parents will travel and some body will start celebrating ………………yuppy I’M GONNA BUY SHISHAAAAAAAAA….fun will start soon **EVIL SMILE**

Anyways going back to your comments sorry 4 the delay. All in all, most of you got my point about the wrongness/rightness issue.
For some reason, I figured out the following with regards to some Arab bloggers:
-Shallow-minded, introvert, & Childish (wonder wut kind of education they have or wut kind of friends they r hanging out with)
-Got no point behind blogging so they have no clue what civilized conversation is all about.
-Start criticizing the arguer and insulting him/her simply because he/she has a different point of view. As a result, they forget what the point was & use their long sharp tongue & shiitty kind of communication to defend their image. Self insecure!

BTW firas I was about to change me mind but I think I would be mistaken if I did …I would be insulting my intelligence if I though of replying to your “SARCASTIC COMMENT”:
“PS to Arablady, take it easy,now looking at your avatar I see that you've taken my advice and you are all covered up, good for you”.
!!!

Sami,
My post wasn’t a response to the Arab Girl’s post. Her post just triggered some questions that would be dicussied sooner or later…I was talking about the trap we all tend to fall in: categorizing human beings according to our beliefs assuming we r RIGHT. GO back to wut D,
Shaykhspeara Sha'ira & Hannan have said about the right/wrong thing issue…they just rephrased or expressed my view but in a different way…
I guess it was a big mistake referring to her post in the first place. Agree with you but allow me to comment on the following:
““Not to wrong all girls, there is girls that were raised in environment that they found all people around them; their moms, their sisters,etc are comfortable wearing Bikini and that's why they wear it... but when a girl comes from Saudi Arabia to the U.S. and wear bikini here and then when the plane lands in Jeddah, she puts on the scarf and 3abyaa.. that's what is called slutty girl”””.
To me she is not a slutty girl! Don’t u people say in Rome do what Romans do!!& do we have to stick to wut ur culture/environment even if it goes against our personal values, individualism, & reasoning. Life is all about experiencing new things. Sounds you agree with me that its a matter of lifestyle too. at the same you r telling me if a person was born in a certain environment, she/he must stick to it & never change! So if my parents have their own religious & politics beliefs, I must follow blindly wut my brain was stuffed with. Then where have the role of external factors gone like media, friends, schools, university, traveling, …..etc.
Assume that your father is a communist, liberal, or fanatic should you believe in his convictions just because his is your father and knows better than you! they give us the basics & then its our duty to continue our life journey & build up our own system of values & beliefs..
Anyways, that girl might be a slut in ur opinion but I c her a VICTIM… victim of the unfair culture that allows the man to do wutever he wants but lists wut a woman should & should not do…they create generations with double standard views, values, & behaviors! We cover in front of the so called “society” but in reality we have our own secret life! Is this what the society wants!

clayfuture
no I wont tell anymore!

Nash & Dubai_Stud I dunno guys but I would be more than happy to have some identical copies of u 2 distribute…Arab women r in need of similar men…life would be much easier!

Ella
I hate them too ( ok come on don’t believe me, well I do..their actions make me do hate them!) but lets be honest with ourselves we both need each other! They r giving women kind of hard time….forget that male blogger but we cant deny that zillions of ppl think in a similar way…believe me I concluded that Education has nothing to do with the mentalities…I know a professor teaching at my university…he has PhD from the states but his wife doesn’t have a high school diploma…listen some men don’t prefer the educated girl coz they know she will make his life like hell ; ) …they want a robot not a women who thinks or has a strong personality… some of them want her without history, never talked to a male other than her father & bro, covered from head 2 toe….etc u know the story & the rest of the list..of course I’m not saying all of them but the majority! You get frustrated when u know that he lived most or part of his life abroad or probably educated at prestigious universities abroad! He still thinks the same way our ancestors used to c the world..they prefer the YOUNG woman will excellent cooking skills over those who have uni degrees…I dunno wut’s wrong with them…

digital nomad & Dina hala ladies…THX 4 the support & thx 4 dropping by….ana mraw2a kteer dina no body on earth can spoil my mood J & Dingital I love you too! Rejected..hmm sounds u have a story! Any ways welcome to my spot & plz tell me who doest judge us based on our nationalities & passports! Cheer up ..dont let anything/anybody make u feel down….
Omernos said...you are nobody to tell me what I have to do…go let your friend stop being sarcastic about Islam & Hejab, as if its really funny!
***UFT***

palo-girl
thanks 4 coming by & ppl start judging each other coz they have nothing worthwhile to do in life! 3alam fadya!

Hannan, people in our culture judge the book by its cover esp when it comes 2 women. I have been harassed several times IN PUBLIC PLACES by men with beard & short Kandoraaaaaa! The last time was long time ago when I went grocery shopping & was that man trying to give me his num :S going back & forth repeaaaaaating his num over & over again!
Wuts the hell! Wanna tell u a secret THEY freak me out whenever I c I man with beard & short kandora! They never lower their gaze & spend 10 hours staring @ u!! Drama Diva & Advents Halla & thx 4 sharing ur opinion

واحد من هالعالم
Get a life …don’t tell me that u r being sarcastic too!

Anyways,
Check out the following if interested..THX Abu JOuD!
http://www.al-akhbar.com/ar/node/12321

again this blog represents my personal opinions that might be wrong or right. I never claim that they are right either.
Have a great weekend...

Cheeeeeeeeerz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



After a frustrating tour to check out some blogs I ended up being called a dumb!!!


I read an interesting post
http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=418 on Arab Girl’s blog.


Ok I tend to be trigging some “Dumb arguments” lately. Frankly speaking, if anybody would say this to me in real life I would smash his/her face!!

Simply I can’t tolerate disrespect & black-headedness. No one ever dares to talk to me in such a tone. Ok I’m dump but proud of my triviality which I consider it open-mindedness!

My fault & crime in life are that I don’t like to categorize human beings. I don’t like to judge who is a bitch, bastard, slut, who is gonna end up in hell or heaven simply because its none of my business!!

Girls in bikini are sluts and bitches! Oh they show their asses to the world! Who the hell am I to judge people or give them names? It’s her body, not mine! If she wants to reveal her body to the world then it’s her PERSONAL decision.

Each person has his/her own lifestyle. I ‘m neither defending nor promoting such actions but I don’t have any authority to tell her “oh, babe. Its wrong!”

Why the hell people think they know what’s wrong & right!!??

How many nationalities, cultures, and religions do we have??
So if any person on Earth is not abiding by Islam teachings or the Arab traditions, he/she is WRONG!! Is it the kind of Islam you are calling for?


If each person thinks that he is RIGHT while other DIFFERENT people are WRONG…then it’s a real disaster! Divided world with hatred being the median of communication…Peace Peace lets live with each other peacefully with neither generalization nor stereotyping!!!!!!!


Moreover, for a reason I really don’t know, I felt that the internet is male-dominated too. That’s driving me crazy. I thought I would escape my reality to find some open window to breathe and meet some ppl having a similar mentality of mine. Obviously, I’m mistaken!

The other day I checked out 7aree2a’s blog http://hareega.blogspot.com/and read a good post about prostitution so thought of checking the comments section (I wish if I did not).

And here we go I just read one of the most ………… (u fill in the blanks) comment from a Jordanian blogger ( male of course)……


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Firas said:
لهذا نقول أن المرأة و هي فتنة مكانها البيت الذي هو مملكتها و يعطيها كامل حقوقها
إزا مات زوجها الذي بالغالب هة ابن عمها، فان شيخ فاضل و جليل يتزوجها و يستر
عليهاأرجعوا نساءنا غلى المطابخ و البيت و اذا لا سمح الله خرجت من البيت
فعليها بالبرقع من فوق لتحت

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Translation into English

That’s why we say a woman being the source of bewitchment must stay at home which is her kingdom that gives her all her rights. In case the husband, most probably her cousin, passes away or dies, a decent Imam/ sheik will marry her to provide shelter for her.

Let women go back to kitchen and houses and in case a woman goes out side her house, God forbid, she must be covered & veiled from head to toe!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The disaster is that by living in an Arab country I know I can’t sue him!! Do I have the right to commit suicide!! Gosh I can’t imagine the life of a woman full of sick ppl having such a mentality around her!!

Now I’m really sick of this shit!

Women are the source of prostitution
Women fool men
Women triggers men’s sexual desire and lead them to committing sins
Women are the source of every disaster in this world …they probably behind:

Earthquakes in Asia and the Far East
Hurricanes in the States
Tsunami
The Israeli-Arab conflict in the Middle East
Poverty in the Third World Countries
Starvation in Africa
Unemployment & crimes everywhere
All kind of pollution
The War on Lebanon & Iraq

IN A NUTSHELL THEY R RESPONSIBLE FOR

ALL the social, political, ethical, humanitarian, moral, educational, cultural, and environmental problems/crisis on Earth!!!

Since we r the Satan on Earth, why don’ they come up with some biological weapons to wipe US WOMEN off THE UNIVERSE! Isn’t better! So both of us would REST IN PEACE!!! Our existence bothers them like hell!!

Ya Allah please please please give me some patience and support to survive in these societies….pour your blessings on me to bear the fault of being a female!!!
Amen!

28 October, 2006

Tonight is one of my worst nights…I cant sleep …I’m nervous…..i feel that my friend is choosing the wrong path….i’m worried about her ….she is falling in love with a married man!! He is local….i warned her many times to stay far away from him before falling in love..but its too late…He wants to marry her and meet her family!! Never thought that she would lose her mind!!

I don’t know what’s happened to her! ITs obviously brainwashing!
She is going nuts! She is just wasting other PERECT FAB opportunities ..she preferred the married man…ana I gave up really…

Heba “he is mahdoum, be3aed, “religious”, tayoub…..blab blah!”

So Wut! AFTER ALL he is married and has kids?

I sent her mgs after we talked tonight:

Me: @ 1:07 AM
“M shocked u r ….yrs thinking abt a mn who sold his wife “no matter how bad she is” n his family..love isn’t everything..look 4 a man who will be urs only mish sharing him wiz another woman..law kan (if he was) poor u wouldn’t think about him but u got impressed..dont u feel that u r sel3a (commodity) he wants 2 buy just coz Islam lets him marry 4”

2nd SMS @ 1:21 AM
“Nakadti 3alay 3anjad.can’t sleep! Tell him I wana meet him.u mean a lot 2 me this is ur future..i want to ask about his reputation & history bedi etaman 3aliki”

So she replied:
“Hiba 7ayati sure I ‘ll let u meet him he is in ksa now has a business trip…ma t5afi 3alay (don’t worry about me) hiba he is good u will c ennu (that) his is good wil tell u kil shi(will tell u everything)”

Better be a good man otherwise u will face some troubles with me!!!

I feel sorry for his poor wife? Believe it or not his wife called my friend to know whether or not my friend has a relation with her husband! The wife was like I fed up ,”,it’s the 1000th time …plz don’t get married ..all men are game players, disloyal….ect”.

I can feel that my friend is feeling guilty esp after she saw his two adorable kids and talked to his poor wife, but she is addicted to him!!! She just can’t quit talking to him!
The bastard has sent her VERY expensive gifts by DHL on EID!!

We are just stupid, never learn from others experience with men…

I just tried my best to explain how unethical what they are doing is? Just imagine that your husband is cheating on you? How would u feel? She knows the answer very well but I feel sorry for us? Too emotional, we accept to be toys played by them, how could I reach such a stage!! Its really disgusting!!

Being very rich and a big shot in the country, he thinks that he could buy or mess around with any woman and most importantly humiliate his wife and hurt her feelings!?!

What drives me crazy that the guy shows how religious he is!! He even tried to convince my friend to wear Hejab! He even sent Abayaz from Dubai to Lebanon!! And the crazy gets more and more impressed!

I really wish her all best …she is still young and deserves the best…I don’t want her to continue the play!! It’s a closed circle that has neither an ending nor a starting point…I’m thinking of talking to the guy or maybe talking to his family!! I just want him to leave her alone so she can continue her life with some peace of mind!!

90% of the married men in Dubai have secret affairs! No respect to the human being who said “yes I do agree to be his wife”, no respect to his family! Imagine that his wife is the one cheating on him!! What would happen? She would be bringing dishonor to him but his childish, irresponsible, unethical, disrespectful and sinful behaviors bring pride!!

If you are cheating on your wife and all of the sudden you discovered she is doing the same, what would you do? 100% of Arab men would say I would divorce her? Why should wifes forgive while cheating husbands get away with it??


I guess the problem lies in US females……I keep on hearing the same lame excuses
Women tend to forgive and let things pass peacefully coz
we get scared of getting divorced
we wanna protect the family! What the hell is this? He didn’t give a damn to his family then why should we care about “ the family”?

Wish if I could meet the man who could change my perception towards men in UAE & in our societies!

Believe it or not:
Before I get married I will let him sign a contract to secure my rights in case he thinks of messing around….don’t u see how Hollywood stars sign contracts b4 marriage stating the consequences of divorce!!

I will do the same!!
If Islam allows him to marry another three women
If culture forgives his sins……..
If his manhood allows him to cheat on me ………

Then lets the contract and the law protect my rights!!

I’m dying to meeeeeeeeeeeeet him!! Wana c who the hell he is….

For everybody who contributed to the last post thx, but sorry I am not concentrating I dunno who said wut …I’m confused nowadays …..couldn’t even reply to each and every one …but most of u had wonderful comments like Digital, Dina, Rebellious Arab Lady, to mention a few……


Ah guy zI will start a temp job in Nov inshalaaa….yalla I will try to get some sleeeeeeep….

Nitttttty

21 October, 2006



I am really pissed off, I just came across a post advising men to back off when it come to enforcing women to cover up…the post was great but reading the word “our women” insulted my feminism!

” OUR”, “OUR”…..”OUR”!

“Am I a commodity, a peace of furniture, or does he own me!?


The reason why I like Dr. Nawal AL Saadawi is that she calls for women’s right to give the baby his mother’s family name!

Yes, why not!!!

And yes I wish if men could back off when it comes to veiling! I believe it’s the woman’s sole decision. Who are they to decide on our behalf! I would never enforce my daughter to cover up just because:

I might be ashamed of her in public when going out uncovered …I don’t want her to judge ppl based on a piece of cotton/silk or wutever on the head!
Or just because I am might be worried about her being sexually harassed.
Plus It’s not an accurate measurable indication of Iman/faith!!! It might be, but I do see girls who fast, pray, and read Quraun but are uncovered! And their behaviors are much better than those who are covered by force!


I really feel insulted to cover up just because I might sexually arouse a man in the street! It’s my body. MY…MY Why shall I spend my whole life in the shadow? Why shall I feel that I’m a Satan on Earth!! I fed up…is it really difficult for them to control their animalistic desires! Well, I guess it’s their problem then!….they should lower their gaze if they are scared of committing a sin by looking at a woman…..

In short, if a woman wants to cover herself from head to toe then she must be the one who is making such a decision neither her dad nor husband!

I had no intention to blog esp that I had a hectic night yesterday. It was beautifully ended by a car accident near the busiest roundabout in the city!!
Guess what, for the first time ever in my life…. i went to the police station! I was on my nerves the whole one & a half hours …my blood was boiling from madness at the idiot who I hit…. Don’t worry nothing major.....just the police officer couldn't judge whose fault it was! At the police station, I met a Syrian girl who hit a little kidoo but THX God the kidoo is not hurt….oppps I started blablabing,,,well I will tell u the details later!


Anyways,
Unfortunately, we have to farewell the visitor of October. So on the joyous occasion of the Eid, I extend my best wishes to you and the people you love. Wish you many treasured moments of happiness and peace.

Happy Eid, Love you all
!!!

28 August, 2006

Shady’s comment on the post “Single Arab women living alone? Yup, WHY NOT?” triggered this post and reminded me of one of the zillion conversations I had with my sister about what is so called “Culture”.......

My poor sister was convincing me (as usual along with the rest of the royal family :D) with regard to how my rebellious mentality doesn’t work with “OUR CULTURE”…and how “OUR CULTURE” never accepts such ideas…..and that I don’t live in the west but “IN OUR CULTURE”….Etc

I asked her a question: could you please define the word
“CULTURE”!!

She was like it’s about our beliefs…..blab blah

I said let me define it for you

It’s about beliefs, thoughts, practices, traditions, and customs our ANCESTORS used to FOLLOW hundred years ago……

Our ANCESTORS are DEAD (sheb3oo moot)………and I don’t FOLLOW others beliefs (Why would I? Any reason? NO) ………not born to FOLLOW but hopefully to
LEAD…LEAD MYSELF…and MY life

I FOLLOW my OWN RULES I put for myself

Your identity is a mixture of things U CREATE from

UR RELIGION U FOLLOW ...
UR ETHICS .........
UR OWN PERSPECTIVES .............................................

Do you notice the
U, I, Myself, Me ,UR

It's not THEY………
PERIOD!

Someppl claim that they r LIBERAL while they keep on saying BUT…….

Yesterday I asked a bloger (Tamara)
about the difference between untraditional and liberal after reading her profile

Tamara Says…
About Me
I'm a simply complicated person...a best friend and worse enemy...love life but not afraid of death...to put me in simple words ...well you can't, TRADITIONAL TO THE CORE BUT THE MOST UNTRADITIONAL PERSON YOU HAVE MET...what can I say simply marvelous...with a twist ; )


So I went ahead and asked the lady …..i was telling myself why she didn’t use the word LIBERAL ..WHY UNTRADITIONAL!!!


ArabLady said...
my first time here and inshalla not the last but got a Q 4 u plz if u dont mindwut is da difference bwt untraditional & liberal....just had a look @ ur profile and the word "untraditional"caught my attention
3:38 AM

Tamara said...
Arab lady – welcome to my coroner and I'm glad you are planning to make many more visits : D Mi casa es su casa As for untraditional Vs Liberal, liberal usually refers to not abiding by social or religious guidelines, untraditional in my opinion and what I was referring to is that I'm not like every one else, I dare to question norms and traditions well every thing for that matter, not disrespect them just question and I only follow what I'm convinced in and follow only the true rule of Islam. And well my untraditionally shows in other aspects, if you follow my writings you will see manifestations of that ( this is called blog promotion ; ) )
4:09 AM

Tamara hope u r not bothered by what I posted.....hope I answered u shady!!

After all we are not supposed to be alike in this world! Are we?

Sorry but I liked to clarify this point…..hope its clear now…….

I don’t belong to anybody, anyplace…….i belong 2 myself…kinda weird, eh!

BUT IT’S ME!