Tonight is one of my worst nights…I cant sleep …I’m nervous…..i feel that my friend is choosing the wrong path….i’m worried about her ….she is falling in love with a married man!! He is local….i warned her many times to stay far away from him before falling in love..but its too late…He wants to marry her and meet her family!! Never thought that she would lose her mind!!
I don’t know what’s happened to her! ITs obviously brainwashing!
She is going nuts! She is just wasting other PERECT FAB opportunities ..she preferred the married man…ana I gave up really…
Heba “he is mahdoum, be3aed, “religious”, tayoub…..blab blah!”
So Wut! AFTER ALL he is married and has kids?
I sent her mgs after we talked tonight:
Me: @ 1:07 AM
“M shocked u r ….yrs thinking abt a mn who sold his wife “no matter how bad she is” n his family..love isn’t everything..look 4 a man who will be urs only mish sharing him wiz another woman..law kan (if he was) poor u wouldn’t think about him but u got impressed..dont u feel that u r sel3a (commodity) he wants 2 buy just coz Islam lets him marry 4”
2nd SMS @ 1:21 AM
“Nakadti 3alay 3anjad.can’t sleep! Tell him I wana meet him.u mean a lot 2 me this is ur future..i want to ask about his reputation & history bedi etaman 3aliki”
So she replied:
“Hiba 7ayati sure I ‘ll let u meet him he is in ksa now has a business trip…ma t5afi 3alay (don’t worry about me) hiba he is good u will c ennu (that) his is good wil tell u kil shi(will tell u everything)”
Better be a good man otherwise u will face some troubles with me!!!
I feel sorry for his poor wife? Believe it or not his wife called my friend to know whether or not my friend has a relation with her husband! The wife was like I fed up ,”,it’s the 1000th time …plz don’t get married ..all men are game players, disloyal….ect”.
I can feel that my friend is feeling guilty esp after she saw his two adorable kids and talked to his poor wife, but she is addicted to him!!! She just can’t quit talking to him!
The bastard has sent her VERY expensive gifts by DHL on EID!!
We are just stupid, never learn from others experience with men…
I just tried my best to explain how unethical what they are doing is? Just imagine that your husband is cheating on you? How would u feel? She knows the answer very well but I feel sorry for us? Too emotional, we accept to be toys played by them, how could I reach such a stage!! Its really disgusting!!
Being very rich and a big shot in the country, he thinks that he could buy or mess around with any woman and most importantly humiliate his wife and hurt her feelings!?!
What drives me crazy that the guy shows how religious he is!! He even tried to convince my friend to wear Hejab! He even sent Abayaz from Dubai to Lebanon!! And the crazy gets more and more impressed!
I really wish her all best …she is still young and deserves the best…I don’t want her to continue the play!! It’s a closed circle that has neither an ending nor a starting point…I’m thinking of talking to the guy or maybe talking to his family!! I just want him to leave her alone so she can continue her life with some peace of mind!!
90% of the married men in Dubai have secret affairs! No respect to the human being who said “yes I do agree to be his wife”, no respect to his family! Imagine that his wife is the one cheating on him!! What would happen? She would be bringing dishonor to him but his childish, irresponsible, unethical, disrespectful and sinful behaviors bring pride!!
If you are cheating on your wife and all of the sudden you discovered she is doing the same, what would you do? 100% of Arab men would say I would divorce her? Why should wifes forgive while cheating husbands get away with it??
I guess the problem lies in US females……I keep on hearing the same lame excuses
Women tend to forgive and let things pass peacefully coz
we get scared of getting divorced
we wanna protect the family! What the hell is this? He didn’t give a damn to his family then why should we care about “ the family”?
Wish if I could meet the man who could change my perception towards men in UAE & in our societies!
Believe it or not:
Before I get married I will let him sign a contract to secure my rights in case he thinks of messing around….don’t u see how Hollywood stars sign contracts b4 marriage stating the consequences of divorce!!
I will do the same!!
If Islam allows him to marry another three women
If culture forgives his sins……..
If his manhood allows him to cheat on me ………
Then lets the contract and the law protect my rights!!
I’m dying to meeeeeeeeeeeeet him!! Wana c who the hell he is….
For everybody who contributed to the last post thx, but sorry I am not concentrating I dunno who said wut …I’m confused nowadays …..couldn’t even reply to each and every one …but most of u had wonderful comments like Digital, Dina, Rebellious Arab Lady, to mention a few……
Ah guy zI will start a temp job in Nov inshalaaa….yalla I will try to get some sleeeeeeep….
Nitttttty
I don’t know what’s happened to her! ITs obviously brainwashing!
She is going nuts! She is just wasting other PERECT FAB opportunities ..she preferred the married man…ana I gave up really…
Heba “he is mahdoum, be3aed, “religious”, tayoub…..blab blah!”
So Wut! AFTER ALL he is married and has kids?
I sent her mgs after we talked tonight:
Me: @ 1:07 AM
“M shocked u r ….yrs thinking abt a mn who sold his wife “no matter how bad she is” n his family..love isn’t everything..look 4 a man who will be urs only mish sharing him wiz another woman..law kan (if he was) poor u wouldn’t think about him but u got impressed..dont u feel that u r sel3a (commodity) he wants 2 buy just coz Islam lets him marry 4”
2nd SMS @ 1:21 AM
“Nakadti 3alay 3anjad.can’t sleep! Tell him I wana meet him.u mean a lot 2 me this is ur future..i want to ask about his reputation & history bedi etaman 3aliki”
So she replied:
“Hiba 7ayati sure I ‘ll let u meet him he is in ksa now has a business trip…ma t5afi 3alay (don’t worry about me) hiba he is good u will c ennu (that) his is good wil tell u kil shi(will tell u everything)”
Better be a good man otherwise u will face some troubles with me!!!
I feel sorry for his poor wife? Believe it or not his wife called my friend to know whether or not my friend has a relation with her husband! The wife was like I fed up ,”,it’s the 1000th time …plz don’t get married ..all men are game players, disloyal….ect”.
I can feel that my friend is feeling guilty esp after she saw his two adorable kids and talked to his poor wife, but she is addicted to him!!! She just can’t quit talking to him!
The bastard has sent her VERY expensive gifts by DHL on EID!!
We are just stupid, never learn from others experience with men…
I just tried my best to explain how unethical what they are doing is? Just imagine that your husband is cheating on you? How would u feel? She knows the answer very well but I feel sorry for us? Too emotional, we accept to be toys played by them, how could I reach such a stage!! Its really disgusting!!
Being very rich and a big shot in the country, he thinks that he could buy or mess around with any woman and most importantly humiliate his wife and hurt her feelings!?!
What drives me crazy that the guy shows how religious he is!! He even tried to convince my friend to wear Hejab! He even sent Abayaz from Dubai to Lebanon!! And the crazy gets more and more impressed!
I really wish her all best …she is still young and deserves the best…I don’t want her to continue the play!! It’s a closed circle that has neither an ending nor a starting point…I’m thinking of talking to the guy or maybe talking to his family!! I just want him to leave her alone so she can continue her life with some peace of mind!!
90% of the married men in Dubai have secret affairs! No respect to the human being who said “yes I do agree to be his wife”, no respect to his family! Imagine that his wife is the one cheating on him!! What would happen? She would be bringing dishonor to him but his childish, irresponsible, unethical, disrespectful and sinful behaviors bring pride!!
If you are cheating on your wife and all of the sudden you discovered she is doing the same, what would you do? 100% of Arab men would say I would divorce her? Why should wifes forgive while cheating husbands get away with it??
I guess the problem lies in US females……I keep on hearing the same lame excuses
Women tend to forgive and let things pass peacefully coz
we get scared of getting divorced
we wanna protect the family! What the hell is this? He didn’t give a damn to his family then why should we care about “ the family”?
Wish if I could meet the man who could change my perception towards men in UAE & in our societies!
Believe it or not:
Before I get married I will let him sign a contract to secure my rights in case he thinks of messing around….don’t u see how Hollywood stars sign contracts b4 marriage stating the consequences of divorce!!
I will do the same!!
If Islam allows him to marry another three women
If culture forgives his sins……..
If his manhood allows him to cheat on me ………
Then lets the contract and the law protect my rights!!
I’m dying to meeeeeeeeeeeeet him!! Wana c who the hell he is….
For everybody who contributed to the last post thx, but sorry I am not concentrating I dunno who said wut …I’m confused nowadays …..couldn’t even reply to each and every one …but most of u had wonderful comments like Digital, Dina, Rebellious Arab Lady, to mention a few……
Ah guy zI will start a temp job in Nov inshalaaa….yalla I will try to get some sleeeeeeep….
Nitttttty
63 comments:
The only way to make this "tragedy" stop is by convincing your friend , because he "the man" will never leave her alone unless if she stated it loud and clear to him that she is no longer interested .. if she is waiting for him to "dismiss" her , it will never happen , he sees her as a catch . being young and blindly in love with him ..
its true he could be facing problem with his wife , and it could be that his life is anything but happy with her , yet cheating on her cannot be the answer .. and as you stated all you'll care for is your friend , and I agree with you in everything you said , if he cheated on his first wife it very likely and possible that he'll cheat on her if she became the second for any lame reason .. and he may not , but there is always a chance !
I wish you all the luck in bringing back your friend to sanity ..
hello heba ,,
i think first of all u need to relax yes !, then set calm and thing without being so nervous cuz such temper would back confusion results on u .
what i see is
you are a very nice person that has deep feelings and u do take care of ur friends issues very well
second thing is what ever u do ..she gota take her decission by her own cuz she is the one who is responsible on its results
maybe he is a good guy and inte 3m tezlmee ya benti ?!!
i feelk sometimes eno law sa7elek ra7 tenfi el rjaal 3n wesh el ard :P
alah la y7akmek fena lol ;)
u wanna meet him mo 3'lat u may change ur opinion but remember at the end its her decision .
be fine my friend
This story is so damned familiar that its really sad. The men who do this always come round to saying this is not cheating because Islam allows four wives. Fine. But, if it weren't cheating, he would have been up front with his wife about it, and she wouldn't have had to call your friend to find out. I hope that one your friend isn't the one doing the calling, when he is up to no good with yet another woman.
And regarding the men who DO sign contracts saying they will never take another wife...well, that has been known to backfire, big time. The usual cop-out is: Well, you really have no right to take away my Islamic right, so this contract is really not valid.
This is our lot in life as women. Its been this way for our fore-mothers, our mothers, ourselves, and will probably be the same for our children and great-grandchildren. Sad but true. If it ever changes, I will be shocked and thrilled. Well, at least Allah does assure us hasanat for enduring such things.
Good luck to your friend.
Hope u had a good night sleep.
I can see that you care for your friend and trying to stop her being a second wife. I am sure she has seen something in him which makes him special in her eyes.
By meeting him, will not change a thing, the only person who can stop the marriage is the first wife, but I doubt if your friend will go back now. Unless something really drastic happens.
When a man takes a second wife, the first few months are really painful, but some get over it and decide to lead normal life. Others decide to leave.
Islam gives a choice to a woman if she decides to dissolve the marriage.
The problem is, especially nowadays most women would have put their own money into shared property, when this thing happens, they find it hard to stay, they also find it hard to leave, fear of losing everything.
All in all, this is happening much less nowadays, there is a lot of other things to worry about.
Mabrook on getting your new job.
he is old, mature enough to fool a young girl !!
try to wake her up !!! even if you have to fight with her and lose her friendship!! NEVER validate or acknowledge here whatsoever; because she might blame you later for not stopping her!
even she will hate u now, but she will thank you later!
You are so right I was in the same position as her for many years and now I know the hurt and pain I must have caused to that mans wife. He WILL NEVER marry her and if he does she will be the "hidden" one that nobody apart from his friends know about, it is a sad situation when girls fall into this trap, it seems that money is more important than love in this occasion. From personal experience I left the local who was powerfull and had money and married the man that I love so much (also a local) who has no money but a heart of gold who I love with all my heart body and soul and we have a relationship that is beyond words better than any amount of money could buy !
When I married him I made it clear that I was not playing and that at the first sign of infidelity it would be back to the court for a divorce, he was the one that placed a VERY high second payment on the contract and also made the condition that he would not take another wife unless I could not have children, well that is his chance out of the window, I just had a baby girl so there is no way.
Please tell her not to sell herself co cheap there is a man out there for her, that will devot his time and love to her and her only, they in time will find the love that she thinks she has now.
I feel so very sorry for her she will end up hurt and lonely.
u know what sucks... seeing ur friend blinded by love make the worst decision in her life and yet u are helpless!!! btw waht is up with married men?!?!? seriously this is not the first story i have heard abt a man loving some other women... even when he has a bnuch of kids and a loving WIFE!! is it just a matter of boredom? challenge? u know u can only give her advice but in the end she will do il fi raaaaas-ha and one day she will realize the conssequnces of her actions and she will come to u saying " u were right"... i just hope those girls SNAP out oF IT b4 its too late!
im goin thrugh the EXACT same situation with a friend of mine... sad but true..... iza jowze wants to yitzawaj 3alay or even thnks of cheatin on me.... ill leave him b4 he gets a chance to say " bamya" :P
:P
Hope things work out for the best for your friend. On the comment section a lot others have stated their opinion about it and it is similar to mine..but i wish the best to your friend.
About meeting the guy, i think you should not. All you can do is advice your friend and stand by her side.
In Islam and according to my knowledge, the wife can ask for anything to be written in the marriage contract, including conditions if the husband at any point of their married life decided to take another wife, she can state that she will be divorced in this case..but i am not giving any Fatwa about this issue, i only heard it a long time ago and it stuck to my mind. Prenuptial agreements are not the invention of Hollywood. You might want to ask religious authorities about it to have your marriage contract written according to your liking.
By the way, good to read from you..you just take your time between posts and i miss your writing. Good luck with the new job..hope you will prove yourself and stay there for a long time thats if you like it!!
Polygamy did not come here to provide men with women. It is there to provide women with men incase of war and a shortage of men!
This man is cheating behind his wives back, emotionally. He is not a candidate that will be "equal and just" to his wives. And these days, few if none can be. So thus the polygamy factor does not apply.
If we are gonna quote quran and verse then let us quote this much... lower your damn gaze! A married man does not send gifts to a woman whom he is not mahram to. A married man does not speak on the phone or meet with a woman he is not mahram with in a romantic way.
Let us talk that kind of islam first before showing the verses of polygamy. I am sick and tired of men reading only that part of the quran which will suit their body parts.
Plygamy is for womens needs and rights being satisfied...not for men¨s!
@ Dubai Stud
If wives can barely c their husbands how could she share him with another WOMAN….do u how to it feels to share ur love with another person!!
I have a meeting here, a business trip there, family & social commitments with parents & friends ..blab blah
And after all u tell she can stand sharing her man with another wife and 2 kids!!!! Since I know her very, I assure u that she will start losing weight from now!!
Listen maybe u don’t understand the psychology of woman ….they feel jealous of each other esp if she knows that she has a competitor!!!
How much did u spend on her....
This weekend spend it with me…ITS MY TURN…No honey my kidoo is a bit sick so I have stay there...
She is pregnant…shit I should get pregnant too!!! ……………blab blah
& why shall she start her life with a man who had enough of sex and fatherhood…etc! She is a PERFECT human being that any man on Earth would have the honor to be her husband…why should she be called & treated as THE SECOND WIFE!
Personally I want to be the first to give birth to his first kid, I want to be the first to have sex with him as a wife…I know that he might had a bright sexual history with every bitch in da country but at least I have the right to be the FIRST when its within the marriage frame
My second major concern is the attitude of rich Arab men… they think that they could marry anytime they want since Islam allows them to have a third and forth wife without any apparent reason!! The concept of marriage should be accompanied with respect and a sense of responsibility….woman are not shoes u replace/take off as u wish!!!! Its enough that he literally spelled it out: I have the right to marry more than one!! How could she be secure?
He was playing around behind his wife’s back and unfortunately things got serious!! How could a woman trust such aman!!! As Digital Niqabi has said, she will come back after 6 months checking his SENT messages & Dialled Numbers!! History repeats itself!
To me, marriage is more than love!!! Logic, Logic, and Logic must rule….one must study the issue FROM ALL PRESPECTIVES instead of repeating the same broken record I LOVE HIM …WE R IN LOVE….blabblah….its a decision that will set the lines for the rest of my life….
Another final point: I believe that any man who is not faithful to his first wife/ or his wife in general deserves to be burnt alive!!! Lets assume that he’s having probz with her…both of them should set and sort their probs out! Problems and conflicts exist in every single house nomatter wut! Otherwise u would c all men having more than a wife!!
I am just trying to make her c the WHOLE PICTURE coz she thinks shes gonna live in a paradise!…she is definitely mistaken !!! her brain is in deep comma…..she is blind and deaf …she is not aware of the potential consequences……..
"And let us not make the mistake of misunderstang our concern for feelings of jealousy because she has had the courage to deviate from the straight and narrow path."
Aren’t u pre-judgmental …anyhow merci!!!!
Tealover:
“The only way to make this "tragedy" stop is by convincing your friend”
Dana its too late ..she is STUBBORN I know her…she already made her mind…I feel that the more I argue with her, the more persistent she becomes!
Feras ya 7anon enta!!
Akh …
“””””””“you are a very nice person that has deep feelings and u do take care of ur friends issues very well”””””””””””””
‘3azah had 3ini 3inak :P
”””” feelk sometimes eno law sa7elek ra7 tenfi el rjaal 3n wesh el ard :P””””
ooopss how did u know!!!
”””””””alah la y7akmek fena lol ;)””””
keep ur fingers crossed!!!
“”””””maybe he is a good guy and inte 3m tezlmee ya benti ?!! “u wanna meet him mo 3'lat u may change ur opinion but remember at the end its her decision .””
was planning to convince him to leave her alone but now I just wanna make sure that my friend will be with the right man! And my opinion will never ever change wutsoever! Even if he is the best man on the planet….its not about how good or bad he is ….its the concept itself and the possible social& physiological sequences ………..
Shaykhspeara Sha'ira:
I looooooooooooove u now !!WELL SAID!!! Agree with u 100%
You know what.. a woman doesn’t need to be respected nor given her rights if she forgo and surrender willingly !!!
If She accepts to be a commodity f**k her let her live the life she chose!
NOWWWWW understand why Islam has some restrictions with regards to the role of women in politics!! They are brainless!!!!!!!!!!
Abed:
I agree with Dubai Sud…my role as her friend only entails advising her…many crazy ideas came to mind like talking to her father or even making some troubles 4 that bastard…I dunno wut to do …I gave up actually …I guess clarified the picture and I’ll be always there by her side at any rate!!!!
Nash:
“I am sure she has seen something in him which makes him special in her eyes.”
I’m afraid she is blind!!! Listen… back to the same point meeting a good chick doesn’t justify getting married to her & Visa versa!!!!!!!
“”When a man takes a second wife, the first few months are really painful””
I guess the painful life starts immediately after the honey moon, Nash. Actually, its painful 4 both wives not the man! He will have some choices at least if he gets bored with one he has the second!
Wow! I just found your blog and am quite intrigued and learning a lot. Thank you for being so candid about things.
Dubai Stud, Some of us have been there seen it and got the t shirt - its not a nice thing when that emotion you feel takes over and it becomes out of control - it is like a drug you just cannot stop until you get the help or you go cold turkey !!! It took me to get married and feel REAL love not infatuation with a married man to actually stop calling or sending a message to the man I was involved with. I know the pain and hurt that I caused and his first wife knew about me as did his children but now being in a marriage I cannot beleive that I did all of that to a person - a person who has given birth to his children, who has taken care of him, has devoted her life to him...... the guilt does not end.
She says this man is religious if so why is she not meeting his wife ? and the point about the gifts and the phone calls is so true,
what is it that makes your friend think she is so special - do she not think that when he has had enough of her - there will be another one ?
How would she feel in his wifes position ?
I think she needs to take a step back for a few days and really consider all of the factors.
It is such a sad situation when your friends dont listen to your advice and heed the warnings that you are giving.
Arab Lady,
Sorry, just to clarify, I meant painful for the first wife, and not the husband.
As for the second wife, she will suffer because some people from the husband community may not accept her, she will be left out on all main occasions, eids, weddings, invitations etc...
I so agree with you Nash - that is the case, mind you it is the same if she is the first wife and not local !!
WOW! Another explosive article! Amazing!
I feel sorry for your friend ... but i feel even more sorry for the kids of that SOB and his wife. True, there might be issues between the two. But cheating on his wife with a different younger woman ... is just low ... so low that I'm ashamed that me and him are both called men!
Look, not all men are like that. some can be pigs... but the majority are good hearted loving husbands, fathers, brothers ... but there will always be a bunch that will give us a bad name!
Tell your friend ... If his first time, and his first kids wern'te enough to keep him with the first one, what will keep him with her after he gets what he wants!!? She will be #2 always ...
Slap her for me ... she really needs someone to slap some sense into her brains ... and yes .. I mean slap her ... she needs it
Let me continue replying back !!!
Dg:
“”Marriage is 100 times better than an extra-marital affair. If that man can give equal attention & do justice to both his wives””
We would be ultra idealistic if we said that any husband is really DEVOTING ENOUGH time in the fast paced Dubai….i don’t want to generalize as I dunno where the rest live but I assure u that the social life in dubai is totally different from the rest of the Middle Eastern countries…..
Babe_UAE, could u help as u r living in UAE…do u agree with what said??
Ellaaaaaaa”
“'3a6ee ya mara, abe asterech”
Yup it’s the first thing he would do!!Ella, I agree with every single character u typed!! Wut if he is good & nice? Exactly So wut? that doesn’t justify the whole issue…
Listen I might digest it if hearing that a spinster, lonely or an old woman accepts to be a second wife! Although I still disagree to get married for sake of getting out of a certain situation ! but she is wonderful, young and many SINGLE guys are around who wanna her to be their wife! So why don’t give them a chance!
Babe_UAE
Welcome back!! I missed ur comments…. I really appreciate ur opinions and advices! So glade that ur marriage is going ok…Frankly speaking its so risky to marry a local man…the last thing I would ever think about! Anyaways its not the point here..i already told her wut u said..nothing worked out! So I guess its time to back off although SHE CLAIMS that my opinion is important!! Huh so funny!
Summer:
“””“agreements are not the invention of Hollywood””””
I just gave an example…we hear a lot in da media about how often Hollywood starts get divorced but both get away with a huge fortune!!!
Ah yeah true woman can state wutever she wants in the marriage contract its not something new…my cousin had written in the marriage conract that he wants his wife’s salary to go to his pocket!!!
Do u want more than that !!!!
She just wanted to get married b4 its too late …she was 27 at that time!!
If I were here, I would STAY SINGLE! It hurts to know that a man want to get married 2 u becoz of ur money or salary!!!
BTW hamdila 3a salama
DG, sorry if you felt I bit your head off. That was not my intention. :)
But the fact of the matter remains...marriage, does not make his behaviour OK. So he marries here. Then what? He has two more to go. And the woman is responsible here as well. Don't get me wrong. I am not defending her actions either.If there were no women who would agree to become commodities and thus ruin the life of teh first wife (if she doesn't consent to it) then these issues would also not be able to live on as much as they do. But you as a man should not feel the need to defend a man who is clearly a no good person, just because he is a man. That is not fair or just. His actions show a huge crack in character and thus applying quranic verses to a man who doesnt abide by the basic ones is really not appropriate. 3arift keef? :)
And arab lady, the idea that muslim women are restricted in politics is wrong. That is attributed to one hadith that was taken out of context! Nothing in the quran limits women to become presidents or leaders. Nothing but men themselves. Hadhrat aisha lead men in war...Would that happen today? No.. why not? Because today men say we cannot. Who are they to tell us not to do what Aisha could do? We are compromising ourselves by believing we dont have the rights when God actually gave it all to us. And you are right, a lot of times, women ourselves are our biggest enemy.
Thirdly...it is explicitly in poor jahil uneducated areas a large number of people still marry several wives. In Mali, Senegal, poor areas of Pakistan, Palestine where there are hardly any men left, oh....and the rich Gulf..
Does that not say anything?
whats ur new post yallah !!}
what happened with ur friend
hope that u r fine
r u gonna finish the story for us ?
:) take care c u
Nash: ok got u now….again both wives will suffer : )
Qwaider:
Look who’s here!!! Lool I thought I will never ever c u here again since u had some issue with me :P
hala walla
U barely c a man commenting unless he wana defeat his fellows!!! They never admit that there is a serious problem in the relationship between women and men in our societies..!!
I’m thinking of organizing the ideas & arguments contributed by u guys…I’ll leave her in her illusion for awhile but as I said one day she will come back to me regretting her decision esp that she is still young…laman wa7da terda 3a 7alaha elet el 2ima wel ta3ab el nasfi lakan btistahal kol yali ra7 eseer fiha!!
Sha’ira:
“women ourselves are our biggest enemy”
it’s the most true statement I have ever read! I am amazed at how both share the same thoughts!!!
When I c women having such a mentality I get frustrated…in time we should support each other they just break ur wings so u couldn’t fly anymore…is it so sad Shaira! When facing similar attitude from SOME men its something expected and can be justified but from a WOMAN…its shocking!!
Mish wej hori7a w Hokok Hayawan 7ata!!! Esta’3fr allah-May God forgive me
“the idea that muslim women are restricted in politics is wrong”
Frankly, Muslims in our societies have been taught that woman can’t rule nor lead…I can’t recall the hadith ..if anybody does kindly refresh our memories…
ClayF:
”To show that he's religious makes me sick”
It sickens me too!
Isn’t a new smart way! Walla it works? Esp if u tell her that u read Quran, pray, and that u spent the last 10 days of Ramadan in the Mosque !!
Eh ..sounds he knows God very well…!
Ella I know and that’s wut I’m gonna do…
Agree with ella on this. If you push her too much it will work against you! I guess she should realize this on her own before it's too late!
Are you kidding? I love your blog ... I would never stay away from it !! Regardless of whatever things that we may disagree on
This post is disturbing and upsetting because we see this same exact cycle in motion constantly...and we all know the ending.
She will get married to him and after he has won this challenge, he'll just move on to the next.
In either case, its a loose-loose situation but your job as a friend is done, you gave her your advice and thats the best you can do. Just be there to help pick her up when she gets thrown off the bed of roses she is currently sleeping on.
I actually dont agree, my marriage is made stronger by being here, my hubby is home all through the week and is very attentive, yes we have our own lives but we still make that quality time for each other - sadly other marriages lack that and they feel that the "outings" with friends is more important that quality time with the person that you chose to spend the rest of your life with.
Sometimes we get in the car and drive just the 2 of us away from the kids take a coffee from the Coffee shop and talk - the smallest of things mean the most when you devote time and effort to the marriage.
It depends on how devoted you are to each other, Hubby has his time with friends at the weekend and I have quality time with the children. Vice versa also applies if I want to go out with friends I can do but I respect my husbands wishes that he doesnt want me out in the early hours of the morning.
I am more than happy to tell you more about the relationship that I had in order to help your friend but I am not sure that it will help. It may just fall on deaf ears all you can do is stand by her and support her beleive me she will need all the support she can get and when and if (inshaAllah no) it all goes wrong you will be there.
Dubai Stud, thanks for your words I do agree on divine intervention or Naseeb, guilt is something that heals with time.
awwww I'm so sorry that you feel that way, I've been in your shoe once also with a friend of mine... What I learned was Exactly this:
No matter what you do it will happen unless she decided that she don't love him anymore (which will need a PI to search his old dirty history)otherwise she will not be comfortable to talk to you or to complain about him infront of you in the future... Relax she knows now that it's not ok with you, but you stay calm so she can count on you.and honey as I always say men are scum (he is religious ha?!)
Just started a new blog I think people will enjoy it. Have a look and tell me what you think
http://localexpatriate.blogspot.com/\
by the way I love your blog.. And I am glad to see there is at least a few people in dubai who use their brain.
@ Dubai Stud
Well personally I don’t blame UAE Alias…we have seen many bad examples in our life (still seeing BTW) ..Maybe UA & I need a therapist!!
Listen I met some highly educated successful guys who lived or studied in the west but guess what…
He thinks the same way ur and my grandpa do!!
Same dilemma…I wanna be the man and u r the woman, I talk and u listen!
Ella, the dress code and how far we should judge others based on how they dress are somehow controversial!!
I believe that each one is free to wear and dress the way they want without being afraid of others perception…if a woman wanna cover up or dress down it’s a personal choice..and why shall I categorize them in the first place !
Look she is exposing her body/wearing tight clothes blab blab ..then she is a BITCH!
I hate this attitude..! as long as the person is happy and satisfied with what she/he is then its none of my business….lets accept ppl as they are without labeling and categorizing them…
Local Expat
Nice blog u have…thx 4 ur visit and I’ll be adding u to my blogroll….
Eric
Was intending to write a comment 4 u but I dunno how far u r interested to know about our culture esp when it comes 2 Arab women in our societies…..
Honestly I don’t have European friends so my understanding 4 the mentality of the European man might not be that great…but frankly speaking my perception and attitude towards the Western man are much much much better than the way I look at the man in our culture!!!! I have argued with many men with regard to this point!
Anyhow Eric…hope it wont be ur last visit…thx 4 passing by…
I'm just enjoying the dialogue. I can't really comment, but am interested in learning along the way. I found your blog via one of our community members, DubaiDailyPhoto, who then linked to the UAE blog, and voila...there you were. I'm not one to be able to make any broad statements, so I'll check in from time to time to see what's happening, maybe drop a note or two, but again, mostly just learning as the world gets smaller with the www.
As u wish Eric..
By the way I’m not a good example to learn from…I’m just voicing my thoughts with regards to what is happening to/with us.
I know that many females think as I do but we r just swimming against the stream being the black sheep!
BUT M.Ghandi said BE THE CHANGE U WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD!
So yes WE will be THE CHANGE!
Happy that u liked the discussion but hope to hear ur opinion someday!
Cheers
I have to ask you sweetie what is the music that comes on ? I love it and want to download it .................
@babe_uae.. it says Hurt by Christina Aguilera
Thanks a million for that CLAYFUTURE I was logging in from home and I couldnt see the play box xxxx
It is a great albulm I bought it yesterday !!!
Any news on your friend ? Was thinking about her today a friend of mine called, a real blast from the past - and it all came rushing back ........................
Ella I cried 4 about half an hour when I heard the song for the first time…believe it or not I was depressed for 2 days..and heard the song a zillion times …I hate Cristinaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…she breaks my heart into little tinyyyyyyyyyyyy pieces whenever I listen 2 her song…………I envy u gurl …wish if I could attend the concert with u ..yalla enjoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooy
Uae_babe
ask about me ((((((((((((((((((
at least he loves her or shows her how much he is interested in her not like some other ppll
“u r like me sis” :SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ahhhhhh…..she is ok he wanna divorce his wife.. I think she is the one who convinced me :S
Missing u all...just pray 4 meeeeeeeee
Hello Arablady. Not leaving a comment doesn't mean i'm not reading all what u write.
Take care.
Arab lady,
Sorry huni - how are you ? whats news ?
You were not the only one crying over the song !!
well...it's a long post indeed....
something tells me that if she thinks he's "religious" then he'll do the right thing!!!!
all you can do honey is give advice without the agony and sleeplessness......
but sure it's dreadfull..as locals have a bad reputation in favoring -u7mmm- sex with foriegn girls, try to talk to him....
wooww, Iam so glad reading your posts arab lady and reading posts of the others
really so so glad
Iam Bettina from Argentina, muslimah and happy to know you
just wanna ask why no comments section on the last post !!? and where are you, are u ok what da broken heart thing .!!
are u ok ??
cheer up w eb2e tmneene 3nek aslan i miss ur comments at my blog :)
Arab Lady, you are seriously being missed! Why the broken heart? Inshallah you are ok! Will inshallah pray for you that only good things come your way.
Where are you ? Its been too long !!
Hey guys…thx 4 those who asked about me….i really miss u ….although I duuno anyone of u in real life but I dunno I do care about u guys…I don’t feel like blogging…feel I have nothing to talk about …I guess my thoughts will be negative at this stage of my life…I pass by some of ur blogs but couldn’t drop a comment..i dunno why…but I do know from reading ur posts that u r doing well
Anyways I say Hi to
Jomana, summer, clay, 3anoda, 3adel, abed, karima from spain, SS, the caller, arab woman, all seeying eyes, digital, danah, dina, feras, MD, ella, babe_uae, nash, meo,Qwaider, uae_alias(will kill u if u decide 2 quit blogggggggggging, I read all ur post gurl :@), Sabra, dg, Mise, dubai_stud , stained, bettina, and everrrrrrrrry including the silent readers ;)
U guys take care ….u got my e-mail address so drop me a line from time to tome to just say Hi ..walla it will draw a smile on my face …..in case things get better in life, I will resume blogging….u never know…hope I left a mark and expressed a fraction of wut some arab females go thru…………at least I stood up for my beliefs and thoughts and I will never ever regret any of things I have said …
Love u all…
Arab Lady
I do not have your email address! but wanted to say hope things work out for the best, take care and think positive, life is good!
Great Blog I just discovered it, will keep comming back. You talk about issues that have long been neglected, especially in our part of the world. Women need to stand up for their rights. The law protects them they need to protect themselves.
Hey ArabLady .. so .. what happened to your friend .. has she got her thoughts gathered and knew she is doing a mistake ?
all the best for you :)
I think arablady is busy working on the next topic of discussion that will cause a flood of comments!! :D
hmmmm
Oh no...Lord help her. I've heard so many such stories. And in one case, the guy turned out to be a rich local's DRIVER and the rich guy used to give him some of his used expensive things which he used to impress the girl with. This is such an obvious trap.
I hope loneliness doesn't make her choose the wrong thing. It's better to be single than to spend nights crying and losing your respect to a fraud.
Hiba..how is that new job going? and i am sick and tired of seeing this post to greet me on yoru blog..yalla, blog some happy thoughts and take care of yourself!
arablady why havent u posted in a while hope all is ok!! :)
Hi Long time no post?!
Thanks for passing by my blog ^_^
Danyaaaaah!!
the story is coming to end so soon!!
IAM HAAAAAAAAPY!
mmmmm, I´d love to have a friend like you, protecting me like you do with your friend.
so so so nice the way that you are with your friend.....I miss that in my life
let us know what happened with your friend , if she married the arab guy or not ....let me tell you that this situation is better than what does happen here in the west, married men have lovers that will never reach wives status, at least there, women can be wives, and not hide lovers like here, Iam muslim, and some muslim men here in Argentina, taking advantage of Islam they want to have more than one wife, although it is not allowed by our laws. Anyway it is something unthinkable for us here.
But think of that......there, the second or the thirth can reach wife´s status.......here just a hidding lover ......mmmm so so so sad.... for the wife...and so so sad for the lover, because this kind of men never will abandon their wives, and the lovers never will be their wives.
Bettina from Argentina
Great blog! I am enjoying it. I think I will learn alot. Speaking of learning, could you explain something about Islam. How do you know the difference between cheating and taking the 4 wives that it's ok to have by the Quran? I mean, if plural marriage is allowed, then is it really cheating? Or maybe you disagree with plural marriage and as a result call it cheating?
That situation would concern me as well! I hope you can talk some sense into your friend!
Bettina
I really thank you for ur sweet words.. True friends meant to be there when needed!
…this story uncovered many issues such as
-Sincerity and respect BTW married couples
-The attitude of “ I CAN GET ANY CHICK ANYTIME ANYWHERE” just becoz I am better off…women r not a piece of furniture….MEN must value the concept of marriage and stop messing around….
If men could do so u wouldn’t c men cheating on their wives and having secret lovers in Argentina and everywhere around the world….MEN R MEN irrespective of race or geographical location …but I really blame the women in the first place who agrees to be cheap and have a secret affair with a married man! Why the hell women do that to each other!! BTW the second wife will REMAIN SECOND…..
Thx 4 coming from time time…ur comments and contribution make me happy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Babe_UAE & Danaaaaaah
Well my ladiesssssssssssss
I guess I can say they broke up …she is desperate and feel like wanna take revenge from all men on Earth …but really they are not worth it!! I just ask God to heal her pain and give her strength to FORGET HIM…I just told her that by going thru that experience u should have learned something ….if he can’t stand up for his choice & fight the whole world just to be with u, he absolutely doesn’t deserve u !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Special good morning to Sabra, KArimaa & Digital Rebel ….Twinpoz I’m fine :D…
DG I loved the card..THX…digital Niqabi mwaaaaaaaaaaah….and to every body passes by
BTW Shiva…wut shall I understand from hhhhmmmmmmmmm!
Happy ending!
tcdrtw
Cheating is when u betray ur wife and go play around by having secret affairs…
Listen, Islam allows taking more than wife but under strict conditions & rational convincing excuses …. He must be fair to his wives otherwise he should not take more than one.
Period!
Listen, u might misunderstand Islam through the behaviors of those who call themselves MUSLIMS, but in reality they have nothing to do with religion!
Islam doesn’t demean Women but some men misinterpret Islam!
Check out the following link…read the first ph
http://www.twf.org/Library/Polygamy.html
Thx 4 visiting my blog & BTW this blog doesn’t necessarily represent the thoughts/beliefs/values of ARAB MUSLIM WOMEN…it just represent the convictions of a young rebellious Arab female living in a male-dominated culture!!
Twin pose…ok ok I’M SORRY ….check out ur inbox tonight…sorry 4 the delay!
CF yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I am so happy although I didn’t show her how glade I’m! …but el7amdulihaaaaaaaa :)
I might be harsh a little, but how can you be so sure that "Islam allows taking more than wife but under strict conditions & rational convincing excuses" or maybe that what you wish islam is!
Read history and fatwa from most scholars you will find notthing to support this argument. In fact majority of sa7aba did have several wives.
We can wish manythings but Islam is what Islam is not what we wish. For example, I can not use my name when writing such an opinion because I simply want to keep my head on my neck :). And why it is dangerous, because islam punishes those who question its authenticity or suitability by death. Especially if they were born as muslims and considered a convert.
I do not expect you to agree with me, and if you do please do not openly. I live outside the islamic world, and I keep my anonymity because I visit from time to time. So you should be careful in expressing your opinion, but at least stop defending the non-defendable.
I stumbled upon your blog. MashAllah!
How sad for your friend. Wallah. She is brainwashed. And the dumbass dude is getting what he wants.
Your friend is lucky to have you.
Believe me, there is nothing you can do to stop her. She is hooked.
Again; very interesting post. I HATE casanovas too! I didn't believe that SO MANY married Dubai men were like that..
There's certainly a lot more details to take into consideration, but thanks for sharing this publish.
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