Ana & My Religious Mama!

24 August, 2008

It’s so ridiculous how being a single female in a conservative culture means that you are under supervision regardless of all circumstances. Whether you are financially independent or not, whether you are above 21 or not, whether you are mature or not, you still have to abide by local tradition by force even if you don’t believe in it.

Having a religious Muslim mother is not something pleasing to deal with! When I say religious, I mean every bit of it!
I wish if I could let her understand that it’s my life. Indeed, I fed up from changing my plans & lifestyle to accommodate her frame of mind. I wish if she could figure out that I’m doing her a favor by staying at my parents’ house!

I want to scream saying I hate Hijab! I'm sick of the endless lectures about how "7aram" is it to reveal your body & hair!
I want to let her know that if I smoke or wear a short skirt it is not about showing my merchandise or hunting down a handsome groom, its about me respecting my right to exist without suppressing my self! I dont believe my body is "3awra"!

I am sick of the same broken record about “3eeeb” & “ 7aram” & “wut ppl shall I say”.
I wanna EXIST & LIVE in a world away from religious & cultural obligations that drive u to no where!

Can I have some peace without calling me almost every day asking why u are late? Where are u now? How many times shall i explain that if a truck hits me, the hospital would call her! i'm moving around with my ID with me for God's sake! so they will know who the hell i'm!

Personally, I don’t have to give explanations about why I’m late. at least this wut i believe in... I’m fully responsible for myself & my safety. I don’t need time curfew since I’m not living in a military camp! HELLOOOOOOI have the right to go wherever I want with whomever I want whenever I want! Hellllllll

She thinks I’m not convinced of Islam & its teachings that’s why I’m rebelling. At the end of the day its my life so please wake up before I lose my patience.
Your obsession about me should end; the bird will leave the nest sooner or later.


NasEr said...

have you ever heard of a philosopher who gave his beliefs up and followed what his people say ? assuming that he knew better of course . ? i bet not ! you have to be really smart ,smooth and slicky to get away with being YOU as you want YOU to be without clashing with your surrounding ,or,with the least number of clashes .its not easy swimming against the currents it never is ! whether in our Arab society or else where .i think after all it comes down to you, I'm bloody sure you could still be yourself but at least spare yourself the headache of confronting everyone every time about everything .
and especially moms,i believe we must treat them differently and try to please'em as much as possible,bcuz after all,they just want the best for us -often-,even if it comes off a bit rough .

sea life said...

Even I'm married and have a princess, I still please my parents who consider me (still), their little girl. I don't want to be sorry, later!

UAE ALIAS said...

Personally I don't think Hijab is about women being 3awra. I personally take it as forcing people to deal with my BRAIN not with my body. I think even if I wasn't Muslims I would chose to dress in away that force ppl to deal with the person who I am not the body.
As for your mom dear imagine it's not you but her whom is hit by a truck la sama7 Allah! Believe me no one will ask about you in the loving way she does and you will miss her a lot. Sooner or later either of you will die as out time together in this world is limited, don't you think you should gave her little credit for what she has been through in raising and loving you and take her protectiveness over you with little more patience and appreciation before it is too late.

Ghawayesh said...

Find yourslef a job/study/internship abroad and leave. If you stay, you will end up moving from her dictatorship to that of a husabnd. Good luck. Nice post.

rosh said...

Often, mama's know best :) We realize so, when we become parents. Mama's are protective, because it's part of their job - you the job description is inherent, it's kinda wired in their system.

Lotsa love to your lovely mum.

Punk Dervish said...

It is a pity that the social norms in conservatve cultures can make mothers so protective to the level asphyxiating their daughter's independence while the son is getting pampered in the free hand that he has from his parents .It is a case of hypocrisy of attitudes in an unbalanced society

Arab Lady said...

@ Naser,
No I haven’t heard about that philosopher! What you said is just what we need to do & what we are doing exactly but until when!
Agree with you that moms what the best for us but I doubt that some don’t know what the best for us is!
Thx 4 passing

@ sea life
I’m not arguing about the point of pleasing our parents….wutever we do to them is nothing compared to their unconditional love & unlimited care
But the little girl should grow up & I don’t want to be sorry too….i don’t wont to be sorry for myself either

As seal life has said it….i don’t what to feel sorry later ….

You manage to shut me up with your comments
Mana’s know best but not in all cases…some mama’s drive their daughters’ live into hell….i know girls who have submitted to their mama’s wishes & ended up regretting …it depends anyways on mama’s educational & intellectual level & her daughters’ maturity
Lots of luv to ur mama as well : )

The Parental role ends when the human being reaches to a certain stage when he can lead the journey himself. Each on e got a chance to live as he wants being the person he is…..parents should play their advisory role though ….keep a distance & be there for their kids…
Again I’m not gonna argue about endless appreciation our parents need for all wut they have done for us

By the way, a piece of cloth will never enforce your respect on others….its my opinion at least….beauty should be hidden & if others are not civilized enough to control their desire then its their problem not ours : )

@ Punk Dervish
Things will definitely change but slowly…..
Thx 4 passing by ;)

UAE ALIAS said...

A piece of clothes does matter! Otherwise I dare you to walk around naked. What are we but a piece of everything! A piece of cloth isn’t only a material but also a representation of a person. Like a piece of paper that represents your being a college graduate or piece of paper that means you are a citizen of a country. A piece of cloth with D or couple of crossed Cs on it will mean something to you, won’t it? Why then a piece of cloth that Allah asks you to wear becomes so trivial? If you don’t want to wear hijab then it’s up to you but don’t under-estimate it and I repeat for you my friend Allah said:
“ومن أعرض عن ذكري فإن له معيشة ضنكا”
You can have it your way, you can do everything you want to do and wear whatever you want to wear but by the end happiness is only guaranteed for those who don’t Allah’s roles.
I know you are a wonderful and respect worthy person but you need to slow and think about what really matters. Money, job, friends and education are important but by the end of the day are you happy?? You tried everything, give it a shot and try to dress in a conservative way, to concentrate in your prayers, to read a bit of Quran on a daily base to remember a relative that you didn’t contact in a while by sms or a call… These little things make your soul fresher and will make you happy than many things you thought will make you happy.
I really put a lot of heart in this comment because I do care for you and my intentions are in the right place so don’t take it in a defensive or aggressive way. You are hardworking, ambitious, smart, well hearted, pretty and strong woman whom I'm impressed by and wish her all the best in this life including genuine happiness

Arab Lady said...

U know that I just realized who you are : )
I admire & respect all what you have said. I never meant to under-estimate any one’s religious values. I respect you for your faith in wut you have said. Yes a piece of paper or cloth could be necessary but I still believe that it doesn’t necessarily reflect anything…
Nothing is absolute….people should judge you the way you behave & think in case they have the right to judge u in the first place

thx 4 everything u have said

Anonymous said...

What pisses me off about these types of conversations with mama's or older people is 'what will people say'? thats the first argument that comes out rather than 'god said..."

Hamdillah, I have my hijab on but out of conviction. I never allowed them to manipulate me or tell me when to put it on my head. However, finally at 22 I decided - I DECIDED to put it on.

This comment has been removed by the author.

i agree with fay8696 and congratulations dear fay on your hijab o 3oqbal jamee3 el moslemat in sha' Allah

Brownie said...

mother and girl arguments will never end..u complain now and later ur daughter will complain from u...
i do not mean as pay back,but it is the fact that no 2 agree 100 %.
just calm down and try to c her orders as requests out of love not dictatorship.
for hijab, i love it so much and u know what mom did not accept it at first but finally she did.

Denis N. said...

OH, you are ranting and raving against mum bcoz you seem to hit a new button for civilisation. I like that. Hopefully, yoyr children won't tell you that they have reached a new pinnacle in unseen civilisation. That said, I hope you will watch this video and learn: