28 August, 2006

Shady’s comment on the post “Single Arab women living alone? Yup, WHY NOT?” triggered this post and reminded me of one of the zillion conversations I had with my sister about what is so called “Culture”.......

My poor sister was convincing me (as usual along with the rest of the royal family :D) with regard to how my rebellious mentality doesn’t work with “OUR CULTURE”…and how “OUR CULTURE” never accepts such ideas…..and that I don’t live in the west but “IN OUR CULTURE”….Etc

I asked her a question: could you please define the word
“CULTURE”!!

She was like it’s about our beliefs…..blab blah

I said let me define it for you

It’s about beliefs, thoughts, practices, traditions, and customs our ANCESTORS used to FOLLOW hundred years ago……

Our ANCESTORS are DEAD (sheb3oo moot)………and I don’t FOLLOW others beliefs (Why would I? Any reason? NO) ………not born to FOLLOW but hopefully to
LEAD…LEAD MYSELF…and MY life

I FOLLOW my OWN RULES I put for myself

Your identity is a mixture of things U CREATE from

UR RELIGION U FOLLOW ...
UR ETHICS .........
UR OWN PERSPECTIVES .............................................

Do you notice the
U, I, Myself, Me ,UR

It's not THEY………
PERIOD!

Someppl claim that they r LIBERAL while they keep on saying BUT…….

Yesterday I asked a bloger (Tamara)
about the difference between untraditional and liberal after reading her profile

Tamara Says…
About Me
I'm a simply complicated person...a best friend and worse enemy...love life but not afraid of death...to put me in simple words ...well you can't, TRADITIONAL TO THE CORE BUT THE MOST UNTRADITIONAL PERSON YOU HAVE MET...what can I say simply marvelous...with a twist ; )


So I went ahead and asked the lady …..i was telling myself why she didn’t use the word LIBERAL ..WHY UNTRADITIONAL!!!


ArabLady said...
my first time here and inshalla not the last but got a Q 4 u plz if u dont mindwut is da difference bwt untraditional & liberal....just had a look @ ur profile and the word "untraditional"caught my attention
3:38 AM

Tamara said...
Arab lady – welcome to my coroner and I'm glad you are planning to make many more visits : D Mi casa es su casa As for untraditional Vs Liberal, liberal usually refers to not abiding by social or religious guidelines, untraditional in my opinion and what I was referring to is that I'm not like every one else, I dare to question norms and traditions well every thing for that matter, not disrespect them just question and I only follow what I'm convinced in and follow only the true rule of Islam. And well my untraditionally shows in other aspects, if you follow my writings you will see manifestations of that ( this is called blog promotion ; ) )
4:09 AM

Tamara hope u r not bothered by what I posted.....hope I answered u shady!!

After all we are not supposed to be alike in this world! Are we?

Sorry but I liked to clarify this point…..hope its clear now…….

I don’t belong to anybody, anyplace…….i belong 2 myself…kinda weird, eh!

BUT IT’S ME!

33 comments:

Tamara said...

Arab lady

Please feel free to quote me, you actually did a good quote. You posted your question and my full response so in the quoting business you have an A.


I went back to shady's response to you and then re-read this post, and to tell you the truth I did not get what your point was. Maybe I'm loosing brain cells with age !!

What I understood, is that you don't want to accept any thing in our culture, because according to you it is what a bunch of dead people made up, and you see no reason to listen to them. And you quoted me because I said that its Okay to question every thing and you follow only what you agree with …this is what my shrinking brain helped me understand ! am I on the right track here ?

If so I have personally a different view and seem not to have not made my self very clear. I question every thing and if I find it to have a good reason for being so I follow it, if not I don't ! now if it is a religion matter, I question whether it is actually from religion or not if it is true then I follow, I may not understand why it is so but I do follow.

Well look forward to your clarification : )

ArabLady said...

Tamara ya bata roo2y mafi shi mistahel : ))

"""Please feel free to quote me, you actually did a Arab lady ... so in the quoting business you have an A""""""

+ first of all thx 4 ur A :D


""""what I understood, is that you don't want to accept any thing in our culture, because according to you it is what a bunch of dead people made up, and you see no reason to listen to them"""""".


+ I didn’t say that I don’t want to accept ANY THING IN OUR CULTURE

+ I see no reason coz I don’t follow blindly what others do regardless of who they are. I question values too and each one has his/her own criteria, limits, and standards…

+ I’m not demeaning “the bunch of dead bodies” I would tell my future kids about our history, culture..blab blah and feel proud of our tradition BUT not necessarily FOLLOW it …..History is History …..

"""""""And you quoted me because I said that its Okay to question every thing and you follow only what you agree with …this is what my shrinking brain helped me understand ! am I on the right track here ? """""""""

+No I didn’t quoted u becoz of this hun…Shady said that he is LIBERAL so I remembered our conversation and the way u defined the word Liberal and that liberal ppl are not bonded or restricted by cultural or religious guidelines…..i guess I highlighted that sentence but thought its better to state all the thing so I wont look biased. So I’m waiting 4 shady’s definition too…


have no comment on the rest coz its ur personal belief.....

sho still not clear enough?

clayfuture said...

Damn.. I don't even know whats going on here. I'm not getting into this one!

Oh, just before I go...

"Culture is the name for what people are interested in, their thoughts, their models, the books they read and the speeches they hear, their table-talk, gossip, controversies, historical sense and scientific training, the values they appreciate, the quality of life they admire. All communities have a culture. It is the climate of their civilization." -- quote by Walter Lippmann

Arab Lady, We get it ... We get your point. We got it the first time, you argued about it a million times and were proved in multiple dimensions to be wrong! But listen to this all of that DOES NOT COUNT!

You don't need anyone to tell you what or HOW to live your life. You wanna do something. Then go ahead and do it.

You seem to be really green in so many areas (and I don't mean any disrespect but you're one of the people who will not change thier mind until they go ahead and do it) Then DO IT! Go ahead ... Do it
Leave.... Make the big step! They will live ...

One last thing, That Rihanna Clip ... Killed me, I am so ... so related somehow to that song! I don't know how or why.

ArabLady said...

Ya allah 3ala Mr.Qwaider ana…

someone asked me 2 clarify something and I did

so wut’s ur problem then! **al ya3ni angry face ;O***



You seem to be really green in so many areas (and I don't mean any disrespect but you're one of the people who will not change thier mind until they go ahead and do it) Then DO IT! Go ahead ... Do it
Leave.... Make the big step! They will live ...

Ok I’m green in so many areas..any problems? If it means that I don’t change my mind unless I try things ….

U wanna follow the crowd …its ur own business….if u are pissed off becoz of my posts… I’m pissed off more becoz of some ppl whose brains can’t accept somebody who is different from them……about the clip khalas will choose some deadly clips barkin bet’7if 3alay shway



I know now why MD quitted blogging!!!

Ta3abtoooni :((

Khalas no more “Scandalous posts” since there is no freedom of speech in these countries…..but don’t tease me out with ur comments otherwise I will breach the contract :P

By the way Arab Lady, and please don't hate me for this.
Traditions and the dead people you're talking about are a million times better than YOU and ME. These things are there for a reason. It's so convenient for us to think that we are the height of knowledge, wisdom and deep understanding of the universe. When you still don't even know what it takes to live on your own. Or what Liberal or Unconventional or Untraditional means.
Liberal, (unlike Tamara's definition) means Broad-mindedness, accepting, willing to tolerate both sides of issues. Unbound by the rigid rules and NOT rebellious in nature, but more understanding and all encompassing. Free comes to mind, but not confrontational
Untraditional, means something unusual, Unexpected, wouldn't come from a hardliner. But does that mean it's rebellious? Could be.
The word you're looking for is Revolutionary

We are full of contradictions. You, me ... everyone. You want what's best in all directions to us. But it's usually our version of "best". Our limited minds can't comprehend the different aspects of an issue and often times see our narrow view as the one and only right answer.

Anyway, People might claim to be liberal and other things as well. Liberal has both, it's unbound.

Yalla .... grow up a little. You need to... You need a lot of experience ...

I know you hate me by now....
But I hope you can read deep through that ...
Do I look or feel or sound like someone who follows other people's junk? I mean, if I didn't stand out in so many crowds ... I would probably be in a much better place!

Anyay, don't hate me

ArabLady said...

Qwaider

Wut u have just said is brilliant!
see how mature and intellectual u look when u use ur brain to organize ur ideas in a professional & structured way (instead of using ur……)

unfortunately I was misunderstood……our ancestors built great civilization and I am no body to degrade them,,,,
the point is how far the person is submissive 2 some irrelevant cultural beliefs …it worked 4 me…but that doesn’t mean we must follow…..

With regard 2 the discussion on LIBERAL, TRADITIONAL, AND UNTRADITIONAL thing…..to be honest with u i’m a bit confused and I’m not sure about the issue…each 1 has a unique definition based on his/her interpretation and understanding….

I couldn’t agree more with ALL wut u said except this part ….””Unbound by the rigid rules and NOT rebellious in nature”

Not rebellious in nature madakhalat rasi

“Yalla .... grow up a little. You need to... You need a lot of experience ...”

I’m not in a hurry!! And yes I do need a lot of experience as the rest of human beings do………

Maybe I should talk about

Sex positions
How 2 beat ur wife
How 2 fool a women
Wut is ur favorite ice cream flavor
How 2 shave ur beard from A 2 Z….in order to sound mature

"I know you hate me by now...."

yup i do :P

Cheers!

My vote actually goes to Sex positions!
You'll just show how Immature and inexperienced you are
Kidding aside, I feel with you Arab Lady, you might not believe it, but I really feel deeply with what you said. You're a storm on the inside, and that means wind of change is on the way, and you're not only confused, but you have the right to be.
These things are not clear cut black and white. What might work for you, might not work for others.
The cultural framework is there for a reason, Others have passed through the same stuff, the lessons learned mandated the rules

Ya sitty, استفتي قلبك وان افتوك

MD said...

Ah, AL...now you pretty much know why I wanted to run away from this place ;)

As for what you write, I completely understand how you think and where your train of thought originates from. You see, howmuchever we hate to believe but you are what you are because of your family and 'culture'.

Culture, to me, is pretty much about the belief and value system that we are raised upon. I don't mind my culture because I think it brings discipline to my life. But I refuse to believe, accept or acknowledge ridiculous traditions invented by humans. At the end, what Islam says is more important to me than what some old man said 500 years ago.

I don't believe in honor killings. I don't believe that a woman is always responsible. I don't believe that I'm inferior just because I am a woman.

ArabLady said...

MD….!!!

Missed u loooooooooooaaaaaads!

Thought of sending some e-mails 2 raise ur blood pressure a bit so u come back but I’m sure u got hundreds of similar e-mails….I DO KNOW WHY U RAN AWAY!!

As u c No place 4 ppl like me :(
**some drama (^_*)***

Well my lady …just knowing that u r there pleases me…so keep in touch

BTW where is twin …any good news ( bad news r ok too :D)…..long time didn’t hear from him..is he alive…!!!

The honor killing issue is A HOT TOPIC THX 4 inspiring me !!!

Summer said...

WOW..great discussion guys..i wish i can dive in, too little time though.
i enjoyed reading...
Qwaider, thanks for filling in commenting to the young lady, i would have said the same, with a twist..but the sex talk?? ohhh...let me know when you want to disccuss it guys,
i do not want to be left out!KIDDING!
lets see whats next on your blog to discuss Young Arablady, this is what i will be calling you from now on, because i feel that you are way too young in chronological age but you are mature in a way...you get me?

ArabLady said...

Aha... i'm the the little kidoo now!!!

3ajabak ya Mr. Qwaider!!!

Summer said...

young arablady, i decided to call you this because i feel that you are young and rebellious and all what young adults are all about..in my eyes you are and will be a kiddo..qwaider has nothing to do with it! take care and good night!

Si1entear said...

What is this obsession with people wanting to “live on their own” with this absurd notion that it somehow gives them “independence”? Independence from what exactly?

“Life has no meaning when u r still living under ur family’s control even if u work and earn money….getting a sense of independence and being in charge of running your own house will enrich your life experience and will raise ur self esteem as a mature and independent woman who has equal rights and responsibility as men’s”

You make it appear as though you live under the control of the SS! How can you have aspirations of running your own house when you show so little regard for the position that your parents have afforded you under the family roof?

Life experience is enriched through learning and understanding what privileges you already have and enjoy. Until you accept and develop an understanding of what your parents/family, and ultimately God, has provided you with, how can one ask for added responsibility and your wish for others to respect your desire for it?

As for using the phrases “independent women” and then going on to speak of “equal rights .. as (with) men”, please do wake up to how patronising this notion is for women. This so called “equality with man” is one of the most patronising and manipulative ideas that women have been brainwashed into here in western societies.

Why does a women have to reach parity with a man? Why is it that women from the day they are born have to work and “fight” for their right to be “equals with man”?

This is to suggest that women are born beneath the level of man and so must work throughout the duration of their lives to reach equality with man – and how are women in the West taught this is possible? To go out to work and earn a second income, return home and STILL do the majority of household chores AND take care of any children – when it comes to maternity leave women have to once again make do with what they can get! Lets not also forget the fact that within the space of a century women have achieved this so called “equality” with man, by discarding “feminine”/modest dress codes and adopting more acceptable “masculine”/exploitative clothing – particularly in the work place and every other bill-board that you pass!

An independent woman means a woman who has rights and status in society INDEPENDENT of a man. Islam provided women with independent status and afforded women with more privileges than that provided to modern secular societies even to this very day. RESEARCH YOUR RELIGION. Do not mistake present inept leaderships in “Muslim countries” for Islam. Do not fall for the same rubbish that women in the industrialised/western world have fallen foul of - Women are manipulated for their sexuality and, on the whole/general terms, for the fact that they can provide a flexible and CHEAPER workforce which can contribute towards the economy. We here in the West call this Capitalism – the manipulation of groups within society (inc. women) for the primary purpose of boosting the economy!

As for leaving home – why not just move sticks and come to live in Western Europe or better still the USA? (unless I’m mistaken and you already live “here” – in which case I would be seriously worried for your sanity! lol).

Just for some information, in some circles in capitalist societies, those that choose to live under their parent’s roof after a certain age are often referred to as “Socio-Economic Parasites”. I think that describes the mentality perfectly. On a daily basis young people are emotionally pressured into “going out into the big world” and “going it alone”. It is no longer a “respectable choice” to remain to live with parents/family homes. There are too many problems associated with this to go into, in what is already becoming an “essay. Just look at issues surrounding the elderly that are increasingly having to “go it alone” in old age and rely on hand-outs whilst the children that they supported as parents continue to “go it alone”. This is not the fault of the “children” that have now grown up and flown the nest, but of the system that continues to pour fuel on the already burning house.

I am continually amazed to the views expressed by those that live in “Muslim countries”. Please be free to investigate the implications of such trends in western/capitalist societies. The affects on family structures and the future, long-term welfare of the societies and you will be amazed at how the systems prescribed in Islam; the Quran and Sunna, is truly a system that is practical and sustainable. You will not find another system that can satisfy it even in theory.

I would also like to make comment on your article on “culture” but I’m afraid I need to give my fingers a rest! Just allow me to leave you with my understanding that culture can be anything you want it to be – aslong as it does not contradict with Islamic teachings.

This is the end of my "rant"! (Apologies to all)

Peace be with you..

zingtrial said...

Hi liked reading through its a cool blog
you write good :) .
Thanks for sharing
Wish you well

Si1entear .... Well said! ( I hate these short, well said things, I never say them, but this one is an exception)

Hanan said...

"I don't belong to anybody, anyplace.i belong 2 myself kinda weird, eh" That describes me to the T!
And I don't think it's weird at all!! One of the things that bothers me the most about this society is their double standards!
Thanks for stopping by my blog!

All Seeing Eye said...

i really enjoyed passing by, "keep walking".

MD said...

lol AL..I missed you too! Drop me an e-mail on funky.randomness

I'll add you to my addressbook. Btw, you need to republish your blog because it doesn't show your new icon (the veiled woman).

MD said...

Btw, that is funky.randomness@yahoo.com

:P

ArabLady said...

CAN U ALL OPEN UR EYES AND READ THE FOLLOWING NOTE


Dear all,
Could u plz stick to the point discussed and narrow down the topic…if u wanna include the religious, economical, and political aspects all together I assure u tears that ur fingers wont rest coz we will need ages and centuries 2 discuss…….i wont be surprised if u include the Arab-Israeli conflict in the isse of dating and living alone…..

Please we r here to express our DIFFERENT OPINIONS…to not prove who’s right and wrong……!!!

AND arguments that lead 2 opinion repetition and stating the same blab blah again & again wont be very interesting……….Sa7?


Do u thinks its entertaining 2 hear some similar comments:

Qwaider says:
""Arab Lady, We get it ... We get your point. We got it the first time, you argued about it a million times and were proved in multiple dimensions to be wrong""

Plz no offense intended but some ppl run away coz they have no clue wuts going on…so let’s have structured discussion…

THX ALL!!!

ArabLady said...

+++zingtrial,

thx dear…I really need hearing nice comments!
BTW couldn’t view ur blog properly….dunno wut was the problem…look forwarding 2 hearing ur opinion with regard 2 the topics discussed esp if u r not Arab….


+++Hanan,

AH Hannan good to have some feminine voices supporting similar ideas!!


+++clayfuture
u cant run away like that!!
I’m verrrrry interested in hearing ur thoughts!! Well don’t worry we don’t throw tomatoes at each other when we argue!!! Ur T-shirt won’t get dirty…!!

I wanna c how westerners and non-Arabs react 2 the “scandalous posts”!!!



+++All Seeing Eye,

I will "keep walking" with my head up ..dont worry !
Glade that u enjoyed ur time here….thx 4 leaving a comment.. ur blog is cool too…
My hearts with u guys…Lebanon will never be shaken…!!



++Tamara hope I answered ur doubts

+++MD..of couse I will drop a line very soon :)

++3anoooda ..sorry I know that I should have done the tagging thing but waiting 4 the right time …I assure u the post wont be entertaining esp 4 men!!

ArabLady said...

OK Mr. silentear its ur turn now!


++U asked “Independence from what exactly?”

when you know that u have electricity, water, phone bills..have 2 pay 4 ur apartment, food,car…blab blah u get 2 know wut life is…and u get 2 realize how blessed u were when living under ur family roof…..u will appreciate how ppl strive 2 exist…its another motive u add 2 ur list

++“You make it appear as though you live under the control of the SS!

For those who don’t know wut SS means..read this!
*****The origins of the Waffen-SS (Armed SS) can be traced back to the creation of a select group of 200 men who were to act as Hitler's body guard. This body guard was created by Hitler in reaction to his unease at the size and strength of the SA (Sturmabteilung or Storm Troopers).******
guys should I feel ofended? What do u think?




++How can you have aspirations of running your own house when you show so little regard for the position that your parents have afforded you under the family roof?”
PLZ DON’T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH!!! Stop ur irrelevant assumptions!!



++””Life experience is enriched through learning and understanding what privileges you already have and enjoy. Until you accept and develop an understanding of what your parents/family, and ultimately God, has provided you with, how can one ask for added responsibility and your wish for others to respect your desire for it?”””

What kind of life experience/learning style are u advocating for!!!
Life experience is when u go out, experience wut life is all about…its not about living in ur cave learning through spiritual thinking only!!!..ur definition is irrelevant …sorry doesn’t make sense …so learning and experience are achieved through accepting and developing an understanding of what your parents/family, and ultimately God, has provided you with!! Appreciating wut God and family blessed us with has nothing 2 do with life experience!! It’s so essential the least to do but any relevant direct connection between the two ideas?
Bad answer…look 4 another definition!

That’s it 4 now! Plz do me a favor and start shortening ur newspapers…man I can’t catch up with zillion points in every paragraph….why r u in a hurry I wont run away!!
;)
Cheers!

Abed. Hamdan said...

ArabLady:

Dear Sister,

To avoid all these long discussion, that will get you no where, In my humber opionion, Read well about "our culture".

To Define "out cultutre", It's our religion and history. Yeah, it's old, history should be old and outdated. But However, values .. morals.. ethics, are never out dated. Nobody was as rebellious as Your truly :) , but you know what, the more I read about our religion, and the more I UNDERSTAND what it's all about, the more answers i get for my questions.

Problem is, people are just repeating themselves, they lack the understanding of the religon that Allah revealed to give solutions to our problems that are valid to all times, we just need to understand them to make them for this century, and the oncoming centuries if there are any ;D

PS: I faced problems reading ur blog, there are some errors in ur current theme, please fix them :(

uae alias said...

Are you a Muslim? then don't follow culture or others who as you said "sheb3oo moot" follow your GOD and beliefs that you claim that you have, or what? or you will be hypocrite who pretends to be someone else... U can still lead your life, but at some points u will have to compromise not as a surrendering option but as a move on option. If you just go on with no consideration to the family that raised you, in terms of the cultural issues believe me every conqure will be a defeat... because you wont be happy, I admitt having a crapy relation with my own family and we talked about it that day on the messenger, and I'm telling you out of experience compromising to the best solution with people ypu care for, or ur life will be a miss...
Think of Allah in the first place, and if you were satisfied with your relationship with him, everything in this life will teurn to ur good.

Arab Lady, You're just sinking deeper and deeper in your shallowness!
Ya binti .. Who's stopping you!!!? Go .. shew ... fikki 3anna!
Go live "Your life" .... and you know what ... I'll send your a house warming gift when you settle on your own!
You know ... you seriously need something ... I think it's 3aib for me to say it (Yes, the culture of "3aib" extends to men too, and governs my thought all the way 10,000 miles away from you)
You backlashed at "Silentear" and you tried to ridicule him/her in a very little-girlish way. You said nothing! Not an argument, nor logic, nor facts! And he/she stomped you with logic and really good ideas

You know what? How about I give you a suggestion and you can consider it and see if you like it.
How about you travel abroad to continue your education? This would be your chance to stay away from home. And for a great cause you get an education (apparently a much needed one) and you get to practice your blaspheme

I would like to meet you in 5 years when all the glamour of the face western civilization subsides, and you're only left with the bitter truth in your mouth. I've been living away and on my own for 8 years now, and I can authoratitvely tell you, I'm not impressed at all. But I'm only one voice in an ocean of people telling you otherwise...

Anyway, enough tough love for now. We love you, that's why we're trying to beat some sense into your thick skull!

MD said...

@qwaider and others:

Qwaider, I perfectly understand and agree to most of what you say. There is something you touch upon, yet you don't realize it fully. You see, if ArabLady (AL) could, then she would LOVE to travel to anywhere outside the Middle East, get an education and live by herself. Always, when we're so far away in a foreign land, we return to our roots.

But, understand her dilemma. She is blogging HER ideas; a woman who has been 'trapped' at home and just 'ordered' to follow the culture. If you're ordered to brush your teeth, you'll do it the rest of your life grumbling and whining how you hate it. But only when your parents leave the brushing habit on you, and then two days later you will realize how badly you NEED to brush. Never will you even THINK of not brushing again.

Qwaider, you are dealing with someone who is questioning her culture only because she has not been given a moment of her own. She has been smothered and suffocated in it. Will you blame her then?

Another CLASSIC example: my parents have given me the freedom to have male friends and they know about my friends. I go out with them for coffee sometimes but we are all respectful and know our limits. I have never touched a guy beyond a handshake. I have friends who have so many restrictions and they would be seen dead, than have a 'secret' male friend - and these girls, when they go out, flirt non-stop and end up having sex and multiple relationships before/outside marriage. If only they were let a LITTLE loose to see how the world is like; they wouldn't have been so.

Please be tolerant and understanding of the individual before lashing out at them. I know that you said: "We love you, that's why we're trying to beat some sense into your thick skull"

But what's the difference between you and others around her? If you ridicule someone's opinion and try to 'defeat' them in an argument, nobody will ever change their opinions.

AL is a wonderful person. She's still young and still riddled under heavy pressure from family and the society in general. She just questions everything. I don't think there's anything wrong in that. If any culture is so weak that you feel that questioning it is equal to 'threatening' it, then there's something wrong somewhere.

uae alias said...

MD:
Im kinda friends with arab lady and don't think she mind the comments by diff mentalities as I think she want to know what others think and that doesn't mean she should obey, or what Arab Lady?

MD, I stand corrected. and I apologize for being a little bit sharper than needed towards ArabLady.
My Intentions are good. Maybe I'm being over protective of the young and inexperienced. Maybe I want to spare her the pain, suffering and frustration she might end up finding instead of her freedom. In any case, it's not my place.
I wish all luck, success and happiness. Just remember to nourish from other's experience, so you don't repeat their mistakes. That's the legacy of the man who lived 500 years ago. And cared about women, more than all the modern so called women liberators... more slave-laborers

MD said...

uaealias: I know AL as much as Qwaider or other blogger would know. I know her through her posts and haven't interacted on a more personal level. But the reason behind my comment was that, I felt she was being surrounded by people who did have a valid point, but probably didnt' convey it in the best of words. I just stood up for her to clarify. That's all. I know she doesn't mind people having different views or she wouldn't post such topics. But there's a tact to an argument.


Qwaider: Maybe I want to spare her the pain, suffering and frustration she might end up finding instead of her freedom.

This is the most classic mistake of our lives. I know that most certainly, your intentions are good. Yet, sometimes you just have to leave people on their own to see that the grass on the other side isn't always as attractive as it looks like.

Nothing wrong with our ancestors; yet some of the traditions that make no sense (female circumcision is one) are what I am against. We shouldn't forget our ancestors; it's where we came from.

clayfuture said...

Ok.. it seems like people are cooling down a little here now!! So.. a little bit of freedom doesn't hurt! It seems Arablady has a ton of restrictions on her and she's struggling to breathe!

Every country has their own culture, traditions, etc. but people don't necessarily have to follow each one as a strict rule. We have to change as time progresses. Of course we cannot completely turn our religion inside out, but little freedoms should be afforded. I believe what applies to muslim women, applies to muslim men too. The guys are allowed complete freedom while the girls are under house arrest! I'm not generalizing, but this is the case in most families. The wives are at home, while the husbands are out picking up their girlfriends or prostitutes. You can't deny that. This is a common sight.

Even if a person has a luxurious lifestyle and gets everything he/she needs, you don't know what life is until you have experienced it. And you can't do that by staying at home. I agree with MD on this: the more you stop someone from doing something, the more they want to do it. A little freedom can open up new windows through which a person can see the world outside with their own eyes. I belive if you have a good heart and common sense, you will not get into bad habits, join the wrong groups or bring dishonor to your family.

Perhaps you can reason with your family on these topics. Perhaps you cannot, but at least try. I don't know you or your family, so I can't say much, nor do I want to as I'm not qualified to tell you what to do. I have not tried to influence or persuade you into anything. These are just my thoughts and my opinions. You will do what you think is right for you.

Hope you do the right thing. All the best!

MD said...

Well-said clayfuture!