30 August, 2006

aha woow I hope u guys finished arguing coz I have some points to address….the party is over...I’m really sorry coz things went that way…never expected the discussion will turn like that ....Actually, I’ve been misunderstood big time…

Some ppl just let their imagination go far away imagining me being oppressed & tortured by religion, family, and culture!! Some ppl just put my family is da middle…but guess wut I have the most wonderful , supporting, caring, and loving parents on Earth…..

The rebellious energy and my openness haven’t come out of the blue but from my dear dad..
Who gave me the ability 2 chose & decide……. Who put his faith, trust, and confidence in his little daughter…Who encouraged her 2 have a strong personality, 2 be an independent entity, rebellious, stubborn, a girl who never accepts things as they are without being convinced….

I argue, argue, and argue with them YES
but eventually reach satisfying solutions ….I’m not living with a military gang! So plz put my family aside….i guess having some sort of conflict is something healthy and usual! Some friends just think I’m lucky 2 have such a family! I realize this when I look at some other conservative families whose daughters learnt nothing except being submissive spending their lives pleasing the society & letting years pass by to end up alone…..

Yes I dare to criticize & question
& have the willingness to continue keeping this spirit!

Some mistakenly supposed that it’s disrespectful to think about living alone while ur parents are still alive. It’s your right to believe in whatever you want but don’t close your eyes assuming that people with different point of views DON’T EXIST OR NOT ALLOWED TO EXIST.

Another thing, if you just paid attention to the following sentence:

Your identity is a mixture of things U CREATE fromUR RELIGION U FOLLOW ...UR ETHICS .........UR OWN PERSPECTIVES .............................................

I guess I said follow ur religion, if some bloggers had just read that word “UR Religion”, they would have saved their comments. My relation with God is mine; it’s between him and me. I love my national dress, eat national traditional food, enjoy listening 2 wut mom & dad tell about the old good days, adore the national music, love 2 smell my grandma’s sewn sweater…….BUT that doesn’t mean that I can’t try the Italian or Chinese food, wear jeans, or learn a foreign language....I’m no body 2 demean, degrade, disrespect, or offend other cultures and the same applies when it comes 2 our culture……

The reason behind this blog was 2 release my anger toward what is happening in our “feminine world”, to express my frustration to c some women suffering coz they are women…… Cultural practices and beliefs are not the HOLY QURAN ..our ancestors were human beings like u & me……its not a white page without black marks….

In some cultures they still burn the wife alive if the husband dies before here….. In some cultures they chase the wife for paying the dowry and some women commit suicide just 2 get ride of their miseries….. In some culture they still practice Honor killing…… u name the rest coz the list is long

Dina is a women in her mid-twenties living under immense oppression & unlimited supervision…not allowed to work…beaten up by her dad…not allowed 2 have friends…living under her step mother’s mercy…restriction…restriction …and restriction ....She rebels in her own way, she drinks, smokes, have sex with anybody whenever she has the chance …& guess what she is a lesbian…seeing similar example everywhere, in every house, in every society, in every country depresses me. I feel myself paralyzed coz I can’t help….i can’t change how SOME people look upon women, can’t change their mentalities….. Her fault is being a woman in the wrong place….. leading her life to hell… …seeing some women destroying their lives makes me imagine that they would have been brilliant personalities, achievers, or leaders if some body had believed in them!

I see women who are not allowed to
Study majors they like,
Choose their man,
Get married or even
I see women who are not allowed to survive in a male-dominated society.

Dear all
Excuse me if I talk on behave of them
I don’t blog 2 entertain others, not 2 insult anybody either….
I ‘m not a Mufti…& I don’t claim I know better than any one…but being young doesn’t mean I have 2 close my big mouth….

I do respect & admire your views. Didn’t intend 2 block ur stream of thoughts…but I still have all the rights to see things from my own perspective which might be wrong or right……love ur passion 4 Islam….i don’t have any problem learning from you though…

I see no reason for ur “ma3ma3a”…….
U could be the greatest LOVER
The greatest HUSBAD
The greatest BROTHER
The greatest DAD
AND eventually the most wonderful MAN ever….

But don’t assume the rest of men on earth are
Respectful to women
Protective to a reasonable extent
And followers of TRUE Islam that appreciates women

If that was the case, we wouldn’t c other dinaz everywhere…… Ur free 2 express ur opinion here …its my home…my kingdom…my nest…my outlet….the place where I share my concerns, others experience & my observations…..

Many thanks 2 MD, silent tear, uae alias, abed hamdan, summer, tamara, clayfuture, shady, hanan &
Mr. Qwaider ( damak 7ami kteeer ro2!)

Appreciate ur comments although some ppl were harsh, aggressive, and just came up with false assumptions….

Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.
Mahatma Gandhi

Prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery.
Author Unknown

We are free, truly free, when we don't need to rent our arms to anybody in order to be able to lift a piece of bread to our mouths.
Ricardo Flores Magon, speech, 31 May 1914

Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.
Abraham Lincoln

Liberty is the possibility of doubting, of making a mistake,... of searching and experimenting,... of saying No to any authority - literary, artistic, philosophical, religious, social, and even political. Ignazio Silone, The God That Failed, 1950

Warm regards & my space is open 2 the whole world!

Love u all !!!


Summer said...

Happy Blogging Young AL! glad you clarified your point of view. this is what you should care about, your own perspective and your own interpretation of life as it comes...you will learn and know. there is no end to learning and getting knowledge, life is a learning process. even the people who do not agree with you will influence you in a way or another. and thanks for the recognition! see you around!

Si1entear said...

Salaam sister

First of all I would like to apologise for the reference to the “SS” – it was not my intention to insult or cause any offence – it was inappropriate and I only have a sincere apology to offer in return.

I would like to add that although various parts of the post were in reference to your article, I did not post specific to any one person, inc. your good self. It was a general discourse on practices that “Muslim countries” are moving towards which are similar to those steps taken by now non-religious societies, many moons ago.

The initial moral/ethical/religious limits broken in societies are always “small” to begin with. However, this inevitably leads to a deterioration of morality and ethical principles – leading to the crisis we have in present day secular societies.

When you come across a similar discourse from the mouth of a Muslim, it should rightly get the alarm bells ringing! In these troubled times Muslims need to work towards making their faith stronger, not weaker – regardless of how little these moves, either way, may be perceived as being.

I do not aim to brainwash or manipulate people towards “my” perception of the world. Referring to my last post, I encouraged readers to .. “research your religion” .. “be free to investigate the implications of such trends in western/capitalist societies”. It would be a lazy Muslim indeed that would read and believe – without verifying the information. As the Prophet pbuh taught all Muslims, to repeat/ convey something false that has been received from another without verifying it, is equivalent to that individual lying – which has serious implications in Islam. You only have to watch lazy journalists who act as mouthpieces on mainstream media, to experience the end product of such behaviour.

To question, challenge and confront the injustices in society, while remaining within the ethical limits of Islam, is the duty of every Muslim.

As for “release my anger toward what is happening in our “feminine world” - society rarely progresses through directed anger compared to calm directed intellectual discourse. Opening peoples minds to the possibilities of religion is clearly the most difficult challenge of life but it never the less brings most benefit in the long run.

You also gave various examples of what takes place in “some cultures”. I think each and every Muslim must aim towards improving ones own Islam, first and foremost. Then one can have the basis that he/she requires for constructing the arguments and reaching the means towards tackling the injustices of others.

Finally (well almost finally..) I apologise for not being able to make comment on some of your replies and for the mind-numbingly long posts! (I don’t get a chance to even add to my own Blog! lol)

All that is true and correct comes from God. Please accept my apologies for anything that may be false and anything that may have caused offence.

I am honored and flattered for your words. It brings a log of joy to my heart
Frankly, I have to admit, I am passionate about many things. and sometimes I get carried away.
But ArabLady, I meant what is best, but you're already fed up of people deciding what is best for you.
Maybe if we meet face to face, and get to discuss the ideas instead of this cold, connection-less way. You would be able to see my point or I would be able to sympathize more with your situation.

I hate to say "YOUR-whatever", I hate to change the subject to focus on YOU rather than the "points" you carry, which are very wise and smart for your age.

MD gave me a good lesson, and I am ever grateful. I only paid attention at the end, and I think MD was right. And I should have listened more

My intentions are good, I know not an excuse, I should learn to listen more. And I promise I'll do my best to.

Anyway, thank you again, your words mean a lot. And please accept my most sincere respect and regards

Abed. Hamdan said...

Good people,good comments, and good intensions...

Patience everybody

wb Arablady :)

clayfuture said...

Well, your previous post sure did stir up a storm! I enjoyed reading the comments! I'll leave you with these words of Kahlil Gibran:

"The bird has an honor that man does not have. Man lives in the traps of his abdicated laws and traditions; but the birds live according to the natural law of God who causes the earth to turn around the sun."

3anooda said...

Well Done ArabLady

I really admire ur courage and ability to express what you have in your heart and mind.

I agree with you on some points and I also disagree with you on other.

Opression became something linked directly to Islam. And that is a misconception. It is NOT islam that asks women to cover from head to toe and only show their eyes. It is NOT islam that banned women from working and from living their natural course of lives and from experiencing life itself. It is NOT islam that placed restrictions on what a woman should do, say or even speak to.

These things were all placed by culture and traditions.

Us as arab women, we can only talk about what happens in the arab world because this is what we are actually experiencing. I will not speak about other african cultures that STILL practice female circumcision or indian cultures that STILL burn the wife if she is widowed. Because i am not experiencing these things (even though i hear about them).

I am lucky enough to have a family that gives me the option to MAKE A CHOICE whether i want to at7ajab or not. Because at the end of the day it is my PERSONAL choice and only I will be punished for the choices that i make. nobody will be held responsible and as long as i know that then its fine.

again it is also MY choice if i decide that i want to limit my actions in order to suit society and culture. on the other hand, other arab women DO NOT have the privilege of making this choice. And this, in my opinion, is a theft of identity.

Who is anyone without being able to make their own choices?? Whether its a man or a woman?? Experience is what makes us who we are. And its more likely the MISTAKES we make that moulds our identities.


from what i have seen, in majority, the "banat '6ay3een" are usually the ones that were never given the choice and suddenly found freedom. Whether its during university years abroad, or holidays or even when parents are out of town.

is that really what u want your children to be??

i will raise my kids where they have the choice to do everything as long as they DONT hide it from me. If they end up alcoholic drug addicts, then its THEIR choice. I will always be there to help them through the tough times even if i dont support their decisions. That to me is better than finding out, through others or the authorities, that your child has been an alcoholic drug addict for the past 10 years and u had NO IDEA.

anyways im going off track. But i think you guys got the point. this is my longest post ever.

uae alias said...

:D u triggered important soicial buttons so the discussion went as strong as a crazy stormlolz..
Storm it out girl

MD said...

Wow! A roller-coaster post :)

Qwaider: I appreciate your words. And it's also wonderful to see someone who actually remains open-minded throughout a discussion. These days, many people come to discussions with the aim of brain-washing others and not listening or thinking twice about what the other person is saying.

AL: I'm really sorry if I implied that your family restrictions were suffocating you. It's just that when I had read your earlier posts, that's the image I got. But I guess if you blogged only what hurt you, doesn't mean you're always sad and angry at your family. My bad! You sorted it all out in a great way and I'm so glad that you will talk of actual problems that affect women today.

*huuuuugggg* :)

Anonymous said...

Very nice! I found a place where you can
make some nice extra cash secret shopping. Just go to the site below
and put in your zip to see what's available in your area.
I made over $900 last month having fun!
make extra money

Anonymous said...

Very nice! I found a place where you can
make some nice extra cash secret shopping. Just go to the site below
and put in your zip to see what's available in your area.
I made over $900 last month having fun!
make extra money

Ibraheem's said...

Great but make sure you don't confuse your culture and Islam..This is tricky..????

Make sure you define what feminism is...??

Islam gave rise to feminism 1400 years ago...it is only culture that stopped Islamic feminism by including FGM, Strict covering of the eyes and treating women like sheeps..

Alhamdulillah many Islamic families don't have some of those cultures..