01 September, 2006


I knew that the women would call. Her hysterical questions and remarks were just an indication that I passed the test!

Honey what is your weight, Mashala you look slim, ok what about your height darling
…mmm well no girl you must be taller than that (I might lie about my age :D but why would i shorten myself!) do you work, how old are you, what is your year of birth, what did you study, and the most interesting question:

Do you go out wearing this!! Do you wear veil?? *_* !!!
**Hint: I was wearing decent clothes so no bikini, no mini skirt even….etc


Habibty adi waznik…mashala yekhzi el 3eeen n7ifa…tayeb balahi adi tolik…la mish ma32oool akiiid atwal min heeek ( tayeb li bedi akzib wa 2ser 7ali ya rabi?) bteshti’3li shi khaltooo, tayeb adi 3omrik , ah mwaleed ay sana dakhilik…khalto sho darasti…and the shocking question: enti btetla3i bara labsa heek? Yali byesma3 befakir kont mshala7a shi!


To me being asked such questions bugs me like hell. My privacy is sacred and hate to be invaded by similar unacceptable behavior and ridiculous comments esp the last comment. To some people it might be ok but I’m just not used to it.

My mom went nuts and was like he doesn’t even have a proper degree so how come his mom would even think of any possible acceptance from our side!

Dear Mom,
I discovered that education has nothing to do with the mentality. High degrees might get us well paid jobs or give us some decent designations or recognition from others but will never mean intellect, will never guarantee the person is respectful, & will never guarantee that he is the perfect match for your daughter.I just told her a story I’ve heard on radio long time ago about a civil engineer who got married to a barber. She fought the whole world & stood up very bravely for her choice….for her decision….& for her man. Her relatives just went crazy as she brought dishonor to them!! After ten years of happy marriage & three adorable kids, the people who stepped in her way finally realized that they were mistaken. To her his love and respect meant a lot more than a piece of paper.

Well let’s stop judging people based on what cars they drive, how high their salaries are; what degrees they have…etc. Materialistic indications never assure happiness or harmony. After this interesting discussion, mom just listed the potential grooms who were eliminated due to “educational gaps or inconvenience”!!!

Ah mom I should have closed my mouth!! :S Anyway his mother’s question: “Do you go out dressing up like this” was more than enough to know that they were not my cup of tea!

I’m sure you have similar stories but the point is A DEGREE DOESN’T NECESSARILY MAKE A MAN A REAL MAN!


39 comments:

digital nomad said...

"Her hysterical questions and remarks were just an indication that I passed the test!"

Some tests we simply do not wish to pass, wouldn't you say?

Been lurking for months, and love your blog! :)

ArabLady said...

"lurking 4 MONTHS"


Oppss a spyer (*_^)

i will add u to the "Silent readers group"......

DN,
Well thx God she didn’t ask me more embarrassing questions about my cooking or cleaning skills….well maybe the length of my nails gave her a hint so he figure that out alone without any help!! Actually I don’t care ….my mom probably will be get embarrassed not me

About the tests, yup couldn’t agree more! After all it depends on what kind of tests u are talking about…….

Anyways honey I’m glade u liked the blog…thx 4 dropping a comment :)

loudsilence said...

hi arablady..this is an off the record comment..(u can delete it if you want)
I just want to ask you..do you have problem logging on to your blog (as an administrater I mean)..because I can't do so..it keeps telling me (google error)
thanks

ArabLady said...

mmmmmmm LS

dear i dont face such a prob....'3areeba ..well why dont u restart ur laptop/pc ..

loudsilence said...

no it didn't work..this is really stange

3anooda said...

hahahhahahahah that was absolutely hilarious

honestly i dont trust guys that still require their mothers to do the "screening" process. Dude arent u man enough to decide for urself what u want??!!!

Loudsilence said...

you know the problem is with this URL:
https://beta.blogger.com/start

I searched for google accounts and was able to login thru deferent url..it works..thanks

MD said...

I can't tell you how close this subject is to my heart. To be with someone who doesn't have a university degree but is a lot more intelligent and open-minded than someone with a piece of paper.

You have to live with someone for your entire life and a degree doesn't guarantee a happy marriage.

ArabLady said...

LS: good that u figured out how 2 solve the problem :))



Ah 3anodaaaa..we don’t trust them and they don’t trust us too esp when we want untraditional non-arranged marriage!!

The other day I had a chit chat with a friend and was telling her like I need 2 yrs 2 study the guy’s personality b4 I can decide whether or not we click …(sara7a I get sooooooo scared of the idea aslan :S)

She was like wut! no matter wut u do u can never study a man’s personality ...u can never know him well…so don’t miss opportunities as I did just go ahead a catch him!!! lol

Guess what…I think she is right!


MD
I know “educated guys” who abuse their wives verbally and physically so would like 2 know wut kind of education they had!

I totally agree with wut u said……

3anooda said...

i agree with the 2 years not saying anything!!! but still that doesnt mean that i am willing to date someone for ten years before deciding. its a leap of faith. i dated someone over three years and it ended badly. and im not going to waste any more time

All Seeing Eye said...

hi arablady,
super blog, dont let our rotten society weken u.
Good luck

Seraph said...

"I discovered that education has nothing to do with the mentality. High degrees might get us well paid jobs or give us some decent designations or recognition from others but will never mean intellect, will never guarantee the person is respectful, & will never guarantee that he is the perfect match for your daughter."

I absolutely loved this part! You are completely right, a strong education doesn't mean intellect and/or a good mind! I know about people with Ph.D's who have one of the most traditional, funny and hypocritical mentalities!

pearl said...

hey arab lady,
you have a unique pair of wings;)
Not even the two year thing would do but minor information about his eating habits may be!!
It is the closed door where he strips his social identity and appears to u like what he really is.
Some men are so arrogant to hide,so they are easier to read ,still intemacy is the only real show..
have a sweet day:)

ArabLady said...

3anoooda stop complaining gurl @ least you are unavailable :P

“302bali”


My beautiful ladies: pearl, seraphic, and all seeing eyes

Thx 4 ur encouragement and it means a lot 2 me……well this space is dedicated to Women’s right………I guess once we get more members we can go ahead and establish our federation!!!!!!!!

Men are out of here!!! **kidding BTW

Anonymous said...

do u know where loudsilence is, it seems she is not available anymore.

ArabLady said...

i hate the anonymous comments!

MD said...

lol AL...just disable them!

digital nomad said...

mwahahahahaha I spy :P hehehe...and I am all for the women's federation; we can call it The Women's Blogging Federation for Freedom and Peace...or something. Buh-bye guys :P

S!lent.Sp!r!t said...

Mashala.. 17 posts!! ana abaaaa:P

dear ... as i came back from the states .. one thing bugged me the most which i hate even before leaving dubai, "arrogant guys who think money does it all rather than building their own self and not depending on dady or on government easy job" GOD I hate those who enjoy the easy life and enjoy success which has nothing in it to enjoy... yes they have the money, the degree... bes el MO5 fatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..

UmmAminah said...

Its a sad world where judgement is based on an alphabet surrounding one's name.
A partner for life is someone who makes you laugh, who respects you, you can respect back, and gives you week knees when you stare in each other's eyes.

As to mothers-in-law, hmmmmm, please, remember that daughters in law are somebody else's daughters - pls treat us how you want others to treat your daughters!
We're shy to argue with you, so pls don't enforce your will on us, and be careful how to speak to us - a misunderstanding can cause offense. Give us TIME to get used to belonging to your family.
And know that by loving your son, we're thanking you for raising him into the man we love! We're not taking him away from you!

Abed. Hamdan said...

Hey, answer this tag please :

http://abedhamdan.blogspot.com/2006/09/tag-translated.html

:)

ArabLady said...

MD…I dunno how 2 turn the anonymous comments off :S

Digital
Yup I liked the name!!! Brilliant!!!

Yalla lets vote whoz the president and whoz the vice president!!!
We are democratic women!!!

Men just sit and watch!!



7atati Spirit
Congrats on ur graduation from AIESEC!
I feel jealous I feel jealous :P

As for the guys here…no need 2 say anything COZ I KNOW how some of them think….i look forwarding to reading ur posts …

In my humble opinion, ur experience there raised ur expectations a bit and sooner or later u will go thru some frustration as how things go here (^_*)

clayfuture said...

There was this girl I knew a few years back. We were in love. At least I thought we were. Unfortunately she had to leave the country for a few months for personal reasons. We would talk everyday, until the last day when she was coming back.

The moment I picked her up at the airport, I realised she was a different person. We didn't talk much on the way. She never called regularly on the phone anymore. Even when going out, she would be indifferent towards me.

So one day I finally persuaded her to tell me what's changed her like this. She told me it's not going to work out... us. Why? Because I don't have a degree! Apparently she told her dad about me and the first thing he asked was if I have a degree, which I did not. I was 22 at the time. She said she wanted to go out with someone who has a future.

Suddenly I don't have a future anymore! I could not complete my degree due to financial and personal reasons. I can never forget what happened that day! I guess some people just don't know how to put words tactfully so they don't hurt as much!! A degree is an added advantage on your CV but does not necessarily guarantee you a good job!

So... I don't have a college degree, but I work in a multi national company, make good money and drive a great car. I hate talking like this but she brings out the worst in me!

If she ever happens to read this post: UP YOURS!!!

Nash said...

Arablady,

Nice blog, my first time here...

clayfuture,

I feel for you, look on the bright side, she is a daddy's girl. On the other hand, daddys' girls are not as bad as mommys' girls. Also girls have nightmares on mamas boys :)

ArabLady said...

Ummaminah,
Absolutely agree with wut u said…the wise, patient, and well mannered daughter-in-law will obviously deal with her husband’s mom in a similar behavior ….but 2 be honest with u some mothers-in-law are just intolerable and poke their nose in their son’s business ….and ah if the woman has 1 son…the bride is basically getting married 2 the mother in this case….the man’s relation with his wife differs from his relation with his mom….its not about who comes first…the man must be smart enough so he doesn’t hurt any one of them……….thx 4 coming by


Abed……
E7em ..as u know by now ….i don’t follow the crowd ……if u want me 2 come with my own new unique and crazy questions I’ll be more than happy ;))

BTW U just need 5 ppl man :D



Clay
Let me tell you something ….that girl doesn’t deserve you…as there are shallow-minded men you will always find women who belong to the same category!I don’t know if I have to blame her coz she is concerned about her future ………they are many ladies over there waiting 4 your love…just open ur eyes! AGAIN..It’s all about the personality and the mentality NOT the piece of paper....anyways hope u had fun in AL Ain

Nash
WELCOME.. Thx 4 coming by and well said : )))

clayfuture said...

I agree with you totally. I have some friends who never finished college but have great jobs. One of them is even a global brand manager for Middleast, Africa and Europe. Just goes to show you, all you need is hard work and quick thinking! However, I will never advise anyone not to finish college. I would complete my degree but I can't find the time away from my job at the moment.

Al Ain was fun. I like driving on those winding, twisting roads on Jebel Hafeet. Been here for 25 yrs and still haven't explored the "country side" yet! Couldn't make it to the zoo tho, it was really hot outside, so we decided against it.

Adios!

Ella said...

finally someone with my views. I dont believe that just because a man doesnt have a degree that he isnt capable of taking care of his wife, kids etc.
a shahada doesnt mean anything, obviously its a bonus, but wat more can a woman ask for if she has someone by her side that respects her, loves her, and treats her like a woman - nothing :)

about the what u wear part - girl their all gonna be like that, whether we like it or not. (I hate being questioned or being put in the lime light infront of the world about my dress sense!!! i dont judge you, dont judge me ! )

Abed. Hamdan said...

HeHe :)

It's not following the crowd, It's we wanna see your answers for these questions to know more about you ;)

zingtrial said...

Hi Mash'allah nice blog
Liked reading through it
Thanks for sharing
Wish you well

Tamara said...

Arab lady ...I like the post very interesting, and I do agree provided they both share the same interests and morals, and that their educational differences do not hinder their ability to communicate.

We have to be realistic I have hear some horror stories about jealous husbands of their wives successes, which makes them abusive!! so its never clear cut. But in essence I do agree.

hehe.. yah.. this is funny post.. i like the clothes part.. mother in laws can be so picky!! :P Some of us are fortunate enough to have to not suffer through that yet!! :P

Nash said...

Bill Gates, Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers), Einstein, etc. do not have college degress, and look at what they achieved.

Take it easy on the mother in law :), just appreciate her honesty

3anooda said...

i say smack the MIL upside the head with a large trout (daaayyymmmnn reminds me of ayam MIRC)

moe said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Summer said...

Hello YAL, good to read from you a serious subject presented in a nice way..your style is good and you do have good points...but you know what? it is easy to say NO to whatever you do not want and does not feel right to you..no one can force you to do something you are not willing or convinced to do. good luck and have fun in life!

clayfuture said...

AL... you've been tagged! Come to my blog and answer these questions! Hopefully you will! :)
Adios!

uae alias said...

Mabrook lol , I remember once one of a possible mother in law asking me what I'm planning to work as when I grad! DUH! actually I'm not intending to get married at all but sometimes I have fun playing with such women !

(Tealover) said...

I am a bit late on commenting this post .. you probably wont even say it ArabLady :)
Actually .. this is my first time here .. but your style cracks me up ..and for the subject of this post .. it is not away from truth .. this is so right .. and when they groom to be and the mother in law to be come ,and "3arees elnasbeh" is holding his silence , while his mother is doing the talking and the investigating it simply gets on me .. makes me wonder ..who is the one getting married after all ! !