09 May, 2008

If you are a frequent reader of my diary you would not be surprised to know how religion has been a problem for me when it comes to men & dating.

I don’t recall that I had ever fallen for a guy from the SAME RELIGION. All those whom we get attracted to each other ANE present a very PERFECT MATCH turn to be from a different RELIGION.

Hint: I’m picky & choosy in a way that its so very difficult to get attracted to man.

Surprisingly, my 1 zillion criteria are generally met by non muslims. I keep struggling to hold my feelings back, turn all their invitations down to get closer or give the relation a try.

Personally, I don’t get a damn about this issue. But culture & religion do. I come from a conservative background & I could jeopardize my life & safety if I ever thought of loving or marrying a Christian/Shi’i guy.

What triggled my post is a Chritian HOT HOT guy who saw me at work while meeting my boss. The partition was transparent & he was starring at me all the time; as claimed by my boss. To be honest with u I was extremely busy & didn’t notice that. But I still remember a sexy TALL BOLD guy ;)

The following day I went to his company to get some training & apparently he saw me leaving. When I get back to the office, my BOSS called me to his office & asked what the hell I have down at that company. I freaked out!

He was like what the hell I started getting calls even b4 u reaching ur office!
My blood got frozen! lol


That guy who is in fact the regional director of the com in MENA, smelled the perfume & recognized the name of it! It was his fav perfume actually. I just passed for FEW SECONDS while approaching the elevator!

My boss is acting as a matcher now for his friend & gave me good feedback about the guy such as being so choosy as well in getting attracted to women in general.

Lets wait & see. God I know u r reading what I wrote & I would like to tell u something. I figured out that diversity of religion brought to our small world all the pain & wars.

I wish if religions don’t exist! I Wish if life was much easier & simpler. i really fed up

Will keep u posted anyways


Anonymous said...

Hmm, you're always attracted to non-muslims b/c they fulfill your criteria better than muslims. You would not marry a non-muslim (for whatever reason) so maybe you are just not interested in committing to someone, and this desire for singledom shows up as an attraction to non-muslims alone?

Just a thought...

p.s. religion and culture is not the source of war, if I had to choose I would say greed is.

Anonymous said...

A little note: Islam allows a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman, but does not allow a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man.

For a lame (and selfish) reason of "Kids"... WTF? "justice"?

Don't you wish you were a Muslim male? You'd have no trouble at all with this whatsoever.

I think we have too many religions, and religion is the direct cause for a lot of suffering in the world, religion is the hidden cause of most wars.

If you do something evil in the name of some God, guess what? It's not evil anymore!


Anca said...

Dear "Arab Lady"
You have right:"wait and see". Now it is to early to think about relation and marriage.
Real Love doesn't care about nationality, religion, age and financial status.(MY OPINION and my experience)

Anonymous said...

Dear Arab Lady,

What a fascinating dilemma. I would ponder what it is about Muslim guys that do not meet your criteria.

I wonder, also, if by 'Christian' you mean 'non-Muslim'. Christians of both genders are commanded not to become unequally yoked with those who do not believe as they do. Besides the obvious differences, it is too hard to do the equal pulling of the weight of marriage if they are pulling in opposite directions.

So, these guys, if they are pursuing a relationship with someone outside their faith, cannot truly be "Christians". Just hot secular guys. :)

Arab Lady said...

@ Loolt

Allow me to disagree with you regarding religion. At any rate its my personal opinion that could be right or wrong.

I firmly believe that our disaster in this world in RELIGION. Human beings are refusing to celebrate differences & coexist in peace & harmony with ppl not following their ideology

Kindly Explain what is happening at this moment in LEBANON! Why the hell would Iran Support Hezb Allah? Isn’t religion ( along with hidden agenda)?

Ok what about IRAQ & PALESTINE?

The gap between east & west is all about religion. Jews believe they are the CHOSEN ppl BY THEIR GOD. Some Muslims want to enforce their religion & don’t hesitate to slaughter those not following Shari’a. Christians feel insecure when it comes to ISLAM & 99% misinterpret its real teachings.

Lets face the truth. It might not be the religion but its followers.

I’m really so upset to see religion driving the world into the unknown. Of course add to the list greediness etc….

@ Rb

Although im not enjoying my life to the maximum neither exploring life opportunities fully due to gender issues since I’m living in a male dominated culture, I guarantee you that I’m proud to be a female.

We are way better than millions of arab females who have no access to education or forbidden to join the work force & be productive

Our lives would be absolutely different ( in a positive way of course) if THEY guarantee us our rights. But I will not wait for THEIR majesty to ask for what I deserve, I go & fight myself !

We deserve absolute equality….there is no apparent reason to deny that right

Really EFF

Arab Lady said...


Got a long list of stuff to do in life …marriage & love come at the end of the list for the time being….even if u wana start a serious relation @ least u need two yrs to go a step further if both parties are ready & mature enough

Anyways I’m sure many ppl out there r going thru the similar situations …its something we face in our daily life in a multicultural place …

I’m afraid I didn’t get the first part of ur comment

“I would ponder what it is about Muslim guys that do not meet your criteria”

“I wonder, also, if by 'Christian' you mean 'non-Muslim' “

& the second part I have no comment on it : ) thx 4 sharing the info anyways

By the way I didn’t say that Muslim guys don’t attract me. I said I have gone thru the feelings of having feelings for guys from different religions in time i hardrly get attracted to a man unless he gets what it takes…it all about holding ur horses back due to religion

Kristen Bjorg said...

That is such great news that both of you are choosy when it comes to mates.

And he's tall,how tall is he,you think?

But,bold,you like the bold look?I personally like the dark look.

I love it that he recognized the name of your perfume,that means he's really into you, and it is a sign that he is romantic.

What you need to do is to take another trip to his place of bussiness,dressed to the tilt.

Anca said...

I am totally agree with you "arab lady".
Regarding, connection between religion and war also, it was and it is not only in arab country. Who doesn't believe it, can check the history of catholic and orthodox religion, even both religions belong to Christendom..........

Anonymous said...

It's fascinating as I haven't heard that before, and wondered if it is Muslim guys or Arab guys, is it more aspects of cultural gender differences or religion? If would be fun to see your face and hear your voice on it. :)

I asked the question as so many people here in Jordan divide the world into Muslim and Christian, not realizing that the majority of the West don't practice religion outside of Christmas revelry.

Hope I understood what you meant. And, good on ya for 'holding back the horses' :) Sounds like you have lots to do to impact your world before settling down.

johnorford said...

if he's a westerner he'd likely not worry too much about religion, and would most likely consider officially converting to islam. at least that's from what i've seen with westerners i know marrying into indonesian families.

it's really not a deal breaker for most westerners i know.

Arab Lady said...

@ John

he is an its a different story

@ Kinzi
i'm used to holding back my horses. muslim females have to!

rosh said...

Ooooo exciting tidbits :) Wish ya the best AL. You've got a thinking head and an honest beating heart - a neat combo towards harmony in life.

I agree with you to a large extent: religion has caused more grief/angst and loss of life - all because of the way man perceives his fellow beings.

Good luck - keep us posted please :)

Degoat said...

will he have to make the first move or u dont mind doin it if u r into him?

in this part of the world, the move has to come from the man has become a rule and its forbidden to break it :P

good luck.. i think u should get to know him and see how it works..


Beaman said...

I find barriers between true lover, in the form of religion or whatever else, very sad. People should accept others, in all ways regardless of race, religion, nationality etc.

rosh said...

Yup, I think you should get to know him - if there is an element of strong attraction (physical or otherwise) religion/background etc ain't no barrier. Love is blind they say - all of us "came" from the same place, possibly created by the same creator.

Hanan said...

You have a weird relationship with your boss!LOL

I don't know how I would react if my boss wanted to set me up with one of his friends!!!

Arab Lady said...

@ Degoat
I will never make the first step wut sover…sounds u dunno how the arab culture is…we are eastern women.. approaching a guy & announcing how u feel towards him is not accepted esp by arab men themselves.

I’m so sorry to say that but even if I’m into a guy & he has feelings for me, I’m not very keen to show my interest in the early stages…I know its wrong but wut to do!!!!

Of course ppl should accept each others but when it comes to long term serious relationships, religion & differences should matter…unfortunately..
I’m not religious & I have no issues getting married to a non muslim, but lets be realistic…differences will widen the gap..shall I teach my kids the teaching of Bible or Quran…don’t tell me both!

@ Rosh
I believe its not wise to take a step further..wut if we liked each way I wont let my heart suffer

Hey girl long timeeeee..where have u been….i’m so lucking with all my bosses…its not a weird but friendly relationship

Cool boss, huh?

U should listen to my ex-box top confidential stories about his love stories & adventures with women

I admit I’m lucky

Arab Lady said...

@ Kristen Bjorg

I have no clue how tall he is…probably 185-190!
I love his height :)
By the way I changed the CK perfume lets c if YSL will work…no khalas no more visits the training is over ;)

guys thanks 4 ur advices & tip..will keep u updated if anything happen

his mind is occupied with wut is happening in leb :(

D said...

Hmmm ... I agree about religion being one of the main causes of so many problems in the world.
It is indeed sad that people cannot be with the person they love just because of a religion difference...
Hahaha @ the perfume thing :D

Degoat said...

everyone's priority is love..

WHY? even after marriage your prority will change from love to family. U might not love ur wife/husband after years (because of differences/living with someone is not easy) but you will still be around cause family is your main priority.

have other priorities before love and love will follow.. that will be a much more successful life i think..


Bader said...

Dear Arab Lady
I have read all your articles, for me this is the first time I complete reading a blog for anybody. You seems a very cool girl with a strong personality that makes men run away fast after they discover you where it is easy to discover a person like with our manhood instinct and drop at once any relation with such a cool girl looks very self confidence.
I believe in distiny or compromisation (I hope you are lucky in your life and you will get what you are looking for in a man)and I hope you will not (توقعي في شباك الصياد الغلط و تبدأ التنازلات)
مرحى على جرأتك يا بطلة

Arab Lady said...

@ D, G

thanks for passing by

no comment really...i just wonder why Arab men get scared from enlightened females who want to be something in this life beyond being housewives nodding their heads whenever they are instructed by their husbands, dads, brothers or cousins

who said we want to dominate … we just want to SHARE life with men …lead life together without invading privacy nor enforcing certain practices

is it too much

if a man runs away from such a girl, then definitely he is not her cup of tea…

he is absolutely not a REAL MAN…

this is my opinion at the end of the day…

thanks 4 sharing ur opinion anyways

if a man doesn’t accept me the way I’m then Allah ma3o …I don’t need a burden in my life

: )

nisa said...

Salam :)

Careful dear. The Quran specifically reminds of following lust. Marriege is more than staring & perfume. What is the purpose we get marry; love & care for one another in happiness & sadness. To sustain it till we're old & grey...

& did he propose or anything? In the meantime, take it easy. No need to wish religion such such.

I hope you meet a nice muslim though. He'll definitely be binded by the Islamic rules - & that's fabulous. There's a lot of muslim rights as a wife, that muslim couples see eye to eye.

E.g: Its your right to be clothed & fed with kindness, "hubby can you buy me some delicious roast chicken & biryani". :9 Spend for you, while you don't have to spend a dime on him. If he gave you gold, he can't take it back. If he hates something about you, Allah said maybe Allah has placed abundant good in it ;). الحمد لله رب العالمين

Arab Lady said...

Hi Nisa

u r absolutely right but the matter triggered some questions about those who love each other for years but cant get married becoz of religion issues...

anyways thanks 4 ur wishes although i believe treating women nicely has nothing to do with religion ..its part of how u have been raised..educated etc...

most of the males in the our culture, who are muslims themselves, r abusing husbands .....sorry 4 that..but at the end of the day its my opinion!

dance said...

It is unfair that a Muslim man can marry one (or 4) women from one of the 3 monotheistic religions,but that a Muslim woman does not have the same freedom. I do understand what you are saying.

Stained said...

hmm...just make sure his intentions are good and he's not just another guy desperate to get into bed!!!!

Arab Lady said...

@ dance
what shall i say ?

@ Stained
bring me a man who is not desperate to get into bed? i'm sorry stained but all of them r hopeless cases