09 November, 2005

I have been eating too much today. I really do have a very bad habit, which is expressing my emotional, or physiological status through eating. I couldn’t stop this habit. Actually I feel bad, unsecured, and anxious. I think a lot about my future and wut is awaiting me after graduating. Am I going to find a job? How much I am going to make? Am I going to find and fulfill what I am missing? Is my life going to change? Many questions are on mind but the worst thing is that I can’t find answers!
Sometimes I feel guilty that I am not using my time in something useful. I don’t read. I don’t participate in activities or competitions at school and the worst thing that I don’t study! I used to be on the dean’s list in the fisrt year… I was an A student imagine! Lol but know I barely spend three hours studying per week!
Well I don’t know what the reasons behind such a change..
I used to be so optimistic, ambitious, competitive, and caring about my future…
I feel that I am missing something important in my life…. sometimes u feel that even when things are going well with u, u still unsatisfied. Wherever u go u feel unhappy. Whatever u buy for urself, u r still depressed. Isn’t strange?I know if I want to count the number of blessing given my God, I must be happy and satisfied.