04 August, 2008

This is what a wrote on 10th July, 2008-08-04

“ At this particular moment, I feel that I’m so desperate & sad,
I really lost interest in life
What makes me stay here is that I’m afraid of death…….
I have no reason anymore to stay”

I also wrote the following lines:

ماذا من طعم يبقى في الحياة “
بعدما تفقد الحياه لذتها ماذا من جمال يبقى في الوجود
بعدما تفقد الاشياء من حولتك جماليتها

تبحث عن المزيد في حين لا يرضيك ماهو الموجود
تبحث عن الذي انت لا تدري ماهوى
لكن تدرك أنه مفتاح الخلاص

I have the same feelings today & everday…I really wish if I can die coz I e feel I have no reason to live…..why shall I live the way destiny was set by forces beyond my capability…whats the point of positions, money, cars…education if I will eventually die

Why don’t we cut it short if we are not happy in life….i wish if death would be a peaceful end to someone’s pain

8 comments:

johnorford said...

hey missus, chin up. these things do pass.

between me and u, i remember one time i went thru a depression. it got to such a stage that i couldn't recognise myself in the mirror. literally...

once i realised how bad i was i snapped out of it... it was a weird time...

if the worst comes to the worst, move. try out another country. emigrate to bali and make a living teaching arabic or something. u got so many options, such a wide horizon, such a lot of stuff u can do.

rosh said...

AL: the ups and downs is part of life. Life is precious because we live only ONCE. It's precious because, everything you've always known - ever, is from this life. Good memories, our parents, extended family and friends - all those good people and moments you've experienced in life is because you've LIVED.

Talk of taking life short is short sighted - 'cause you don't know what tomorrow, or the day after holds. Life changes quick, very quickly - it may not take anything at all for lives to change.

I go thru my share, and more of downs every year but am always thankful for the opportunity to live - to have lived, to see people, to experience growing up, to be my mom and dad, my friends, to have travelled and met so many people, for the lovely fall days and foliage colours, for the beautiful UAE winter days and the blue skies - for all these very reasons that prove our existence is worth living.

In short, take a look at all those lovely blessings you have in life. Take a look at how much you shall miss being with your mom, dad and all those people who you care about and who care about you. Now say a silent prayer, and smile at tomorrow's coming. Chin up!

navcity said...

don't die because I like your blog ;-)

sea life said...

Hopefully, you'll feel better soon!
Head up!!! Life is beautiful :)

Dana said...

AL, it sounds like youre severly depressed, I'm no doctor, but what you wrote really hits home.

I think you should get help, talk to someone...talking is the best cure for depression IMO.

And don't feel guilty, because it's not your fault that you feel like this.

Best wishes

Sarah Mayy said...

It seems that your life lacks excitement. You really should get around to doing things you enjoy; whether it be shopping or even swimming. Don't sit and do nothing; and this gives your mind the opportunity to think negatively; thus affecting the way you live. You feel this way because you're existing, not living. Here are two of the many articles that I read regularly to help me get through the day and remind myself of the many blessings that we all have.

http://www.dumblittleman.com/2007/06/39-ways-to-live-and-not-merely-exist.html

http://zenhabits.net/2007/07/75-simple-pleasures-to-brighten-your-day/

I hope you make the effort to do something about the way you're feeling, rather than sit and do nothing. Be strong! :]

Arab Lady said...

John
Lovely ideas but are not applicable at all! U reminded me when I got chosen to join a NGO after graduation & how I had the opportunity to gain international work experience…I really worked hard to grape the opportunity but I forgot for a while that I’m living in an arab muslim culture! I got depressed for months after that incident & I will truly not forgive those who stood in my way

Thanks for all the care u show ;)


@ Rosh
By looking at others grieve we can only appreciate wut we have
But I still believe that life is just a shitty phase of our journey…a place where we r harming our selves, others, & the environment with endless wars, crimes & tragedies …we made it intolerable place to coexist in

Navcity
Ah don’t worry I didn’t lose my mental abilities yet


Sealife thx!
Dana
Appreciating your concern….
Sarah Mayy
Wish u a long happy life…by the time u grow, u will realize that life doesn’t revolve around mam, dad & ur marks….


by the way, please dont make me forget that this zone is for ranting only sorry for sharing the depressing momemnts only

love u all

gandhi said...

Love.