this is wut happened tonight

31 March, 2006

This evening my sister came to visit my parents…she knocked the door several times..sent her little daughter to nag on me in order to open the door for her,,,but of course I refused…my sister tried again by sending SMS saying that she misses me and blah blah,,,,all that didn’t work!!!

I decided to send her a harsh msg …and I did…..

I don’t want things to get back as they were….want to change many things in my life but couldn’t…..do I have to wait long until I get what I want?…I believe that my sister permitted others to screw up her life..she gave up ,,,,she used to dream but figured out that dreams are just dreams,,,,,I refuse to be a copy of her…a copy of her sufferings….i don’t want to repeat her mistakes……..i don’t want to let others screw up my life,,,,becoz its MY LIFE not theirs!!!

Sometimes I tell myself that I have to give up and be another one like them having the same sick mentality coz alone I can’t accomplish anything…….sometimes I feel that I have no more energy to fight,,,but I keep on reminding myself that I should be stronger otherwise I should dump myself to the nearest trash bin!!!

Well, although that gives me hard time but at least I know that I am living for something valuable!!!!!!

Am I asking for something impossible?

Wut does ur date of birth tell about ur personality?

Believe it or not numbers do tell something about ur personality….for example the first number (the one u get when adding up ur day of birth) tells about ur deep personality while the second number (the day+ the month of birth) indicates the way u behave….on the top of all that, the third num (the day +month+ year of birth) tells about ur destiny…..


For instance:

If your date of birth is 19/12/1967
Then

The first num u get is the sum of the day of birth MEANING:

1+9=10 & 1+0=1
Got it ?

The 2nd number is the sum of the day of birth plus the month of birth MEANING:

1+12=13 and 1+3 =4

Finally add up the number u got in the second step to the year of birth MEANING:

4+1967+ 1971

1+ 9+7 +1= 18 and 8+1=9

Add up your number and wait for me to tell you what it means and what it tells about u!!!!

What would you like to choose: adopting a dog or getting married!

In the states, almost every family owns a dog. They have that unbelievable passion for dogs. Even when you find seniors especially single women, a dog tends to be the husband, the friend, the lover, and the son!!!!

My mom can’t accept the idea of having a dog in our house!!! In her point of view, they are dirties….imagine, these lovely and cute creatures are called so!!!!

Well but to show how Arabs discriminate between their sons and daughters, my brother owns two cats and brought them to the house….doesn’t she dislike cats as well!!!!!

In the beginning she starts yelling but now she combs their hair!!!!!

Imagine,,,, at home we have two toilets, one for our use (since we r a small family) and another toilet for VIP visitors..,,,,guess wut my mom used to lose her mind if any one even imagined to use the other toilet!!!

But now my BROTHER’S CATS occupy that toilet!!!! It’s not fair to me….is it???we have to bear the disgusting smell whenever we pass by the toilet,,,,the cats hair in every where,,,in my clothes, on my bed,,,even in my car!!!!!!!!!

I love dogs,,,,,Mom, I will buy a dog no matter what you will say!!! Do you know why,,,coz

DOGS are loyal to their owners while MEN are not!!!!!!
DOGS don’t tell white, blue, or green LIES while MEN do!!!!!!
DOGS don’t deny any good u did to them BUT MEN do!!!!!!!!!
DOGS are honest while MEN are not!!!!!!!!!!!

DOGS don’t replace you BUT MEN don’t miss a chance to DUMP U!!!!!!!!
DOGS share with u all the good and bad times WHILE MEN share with you the bed only!!!!!!!!!
DOGS listen to you BUT MEN keep on giving ORDERS as they are they are masters and we are slaves!!!!!!!!!!

Do you understand now why I prefer having a dog instead of a man in my life?

Wish if she can read wut I write!!!!!!!


Oh isn’t foxy so cute,,,saw that on Al ain taxi blog and liked adopting another animal….scared to adopt a dog coz foxy might be jealous and then eat him!!!

Say hello to foxy!!!!!!!

Why educated girls with university degrees are dumped and stay spinsters in our society!!!!

30 March, 2006

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh what shall I say. I believe that I will end up being under this category one day……I’ll be labeled the educated spinster lol

Ya do you know why Arab educated girls end up singles in our society

Well the answer is easy? Don’t you know it! Ok listen

In our arab society, men look after YOUNG girls to marry
Why
Well, they believe that the more a girl is educated and enlightened, the miserable his life will be!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ya sure coz he doesn’t a human being to share life with ,,,but he wants a beautiful body to share bed with !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She will start to argue, discuss, give her opinion………..Say YES when she wants to say YES and NO when she wants to say NO,,,,,,,,

Does the Arab man like that? NO of course…he wants a young immature wife to control her as a slave!!!!!! To say yes to his orders no mater what…

Did you know why the school drop-out girls get married before the uni degrees holder………….

Ok let me give u an example to believe me………….

We have an arab professor teaching at our uni,,,,,,he got his PhD from the states where he lived most of his life…….guess wut

I was shocked when I knew that his wife came to take English courses at uni coz he finds difficulty teaching her kids who were studying in an English school……….he hasn’t finish the high schooooooool even….wut the hell???

How such a person could teach at a reputed uni…I was the chancellor I would fire him immediately……….we wana bright ppl to teach us not big losers…am I right

My Sister & I

My sister has been sending SMS to me since yesterday morning! So far I haven’t replied and will never ever reply back…she is trying to cool me down and get things back to the normal mode…but I promised not to talk to her any more….don’t want sisters any more….oh shit how come that I say that ,,,I love her but I am mad at her!!!!

I might send her a msg telling her just forget this num and forget that u have a sister,,,,,I even thought about changing my number….(oh at least to rest from my mom’s calls whenever I go out!!!!!!!!!!)

I expected her to stand by my side when I needed her support in order to do my internship abroad….she let me down..i will never ever forget that!!!

Today morning the ppl in Dubai called me but I was sleeping,,, I ignored their call and didn’t pick up the phone……..wut shall I tell them? Sorry I was playing with u guys…since my family was playing and fooling me too !!!!!!!!

I passed three stages of their recruitment process then I tell those sorry guys I was just having fun!!!!!

Just thinking of a white lie in order not to embarrass myself in front of them when I call them back!! I hate to lie but no alternative…..i can’t tell them I had a fight with my family over the period of the internship…….i’ll just appear so silly ,,a girl that can’t decide or have control over her life,,,,,,,,,,,well propably my mom felt that once I leave I will never come back to the UAE!!!! Well ya she was right!

Just wana tell u my sister that u let me down,,,,u were more than a sister….used to trust and love u more than my mom,,,,but that’s it ,,,u r on my black list now!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I dyed my hair!!!

Aren’t I weird? Lol I donno if all females when get upset they dye their hairs….

Generally, I either eat, sleep, or dye my hair! ,,,of course that apart from breaking and throwing things L ya actually I admit that this is a baaaaad habit that I should get rid of

Yesterday I finished my classes and while driving from the uni I stopped by a nearby supermarket to buy hair dye….i chose medium blond,,,but guess wut!!!! After applying the thing on my hair I haven’t seen any indication that my hair is getting blond!!!

I was so scared really…I told my self yaallla wait another 10 or 15 minz to c wut its going to happen…..

And since I am short-tempered J I went to wash my hair….ya couldn’t wait more

Guess what was the result?
Thank God it wasn’t red or blue ,,,actually it was dark brown

From blond to dark brond L
Well in spite of this I liked the color ,,,,my sisters-in-law just were amazed the color and one of them asked me to dye her hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol she doesn’t know that I got a color that is totally dirrerent than what I wanted!!!!

The other one asked me if I chose that color on purpose and I just told her YES!!!!

I was really embarrassed to say the truth (May God forgive me) walla I hate to lie but I dunno………

Whener I dye my hair I get a strange color!! Until know I am asking myseld what I did wrong so I got that color!!

Actually this the second time it happened to me,,,the last time it was chestnut or maroon and now dark brown!!

Anyway I like it !

Human Rights Association in the UAE

I read few days ago about the establishment of UAEHRA in the UAE

Don’t know what it is? Well it’s the Human Rights Association !

Good news, isn’t?

But wait a second. What would the association do? Do you think that it really matters the uae citizens? What kind of agenda does this association have? Is it gona be productive or just to satisfy those who keep nagging on Arab countries to enforce equality and to respect human rights?

The big question I have is when are going to have Women’s Rights Association?

Actually I will be the first to join this association to unveil the sarcastic aggression towards women in our societies and the state of inequality they enjoy!

The American professor

Currently I am taking Crisis and Conflict Management Course. The American professor who teach the course is pissing me off…actually he doesn’t miss a chance to attack Syria or KSA!!!

The professor doesn’t stop making fun of a Syrian guy who was living in KSA. Sometimes, I just wana stand up and approach this guy and yell at him saying BE A MAN for one time in your life and put an end to that sick professor. Who the hell does this AMERICAN professor think he is? The other hand, I told him yalla u wana insult me as well when you know that I am Palestinian!!!!

Shit. Its enough that they don’t give us a damn in their countries and they are humiliating us in our countries where they come to get money!!

Isn’t so weird? Wondering how media brainwashed the minds of hundred of millions of people in the west with regard to Syria and KSA! In their minds, these two countries represent satan on earth ruled by dictators that threaten their NATIONAL SECURITY !

Playing to speak to the dean of the school immediately I finish this course,,,or may be have a fight with this professor since I am graduating this semester J lol he is really kind and got white heart ,,,but he is really teasing me out !!!!!!

Is the maidenhead a blessing or wrath?

To me it’s definitely a disaster not because I am afraid to sleep with somebody and then worry about my virginity when I get married (in case I got married although I doubt).
Is there any Arab man wants to get married to a woman who lost her virginity? Arab men don’t even marry girls who lost virginity to them even if they are 100% sure that they were the first in their lives! What a sick mentality!

Anyway this is another issue. What makes me crazy is that if families had the chance to put their daughters in cages in order to protect that valuable holy maidenhead that represents the honor of the family, they wouldn’t miss such an opportunity!!!!!!!!!!

They feel afraid to send you somewhere or let you go somewhere alone being afraid to be raped and then sit on their chest the rest of your life coz no man is willing to marry a girl who lost her virginity! What’s the hell?

That’s why whenever you ask they why, the automatic answer is you are a GIRL. Whenever you ask them why my brother can do it, the automatic answer is that he is A GUY. They should have said that u do have that maidenhead but your brother don’t!!!!!!


Woman in the Arab society is not valued according to what degrees they have or how mature and intelligent she is but how beautiful and sexy she is and of course don’t forget the maidenhead! Oh, this is apart from how good she is at cooking and sweeping the floor!!!!!!!

To hell with maidenhead! The other day by brother told me just go migrate to Europe where you can find people who share with you the same mentality coz here you will never ever find an Arab man that accepts the shit you believe in!!!

Love you fayrouz

29 March, 2006

The most wonderfull lebanese singer Fauyroz will be in a concert in Dubai at AUD…damn it just wana know why our uni doesn’t host such musical concerts…off what a stupid question? Sounds that I forgot that I am in Sharjah….lol

Anyhow, wish I could go….well isn’t painful to wish things you can’t do….my family will tell me go and donate the money you would pay on the ticket to needy people ! well ya they have a point but missing such a concert is like missing a fortune. I love her songs ,,,,,,,,although her songs are very old but u feel that they are modern, touchy, and meaningful …you just fly with every word she says….

Love you Fayrouz and hope to attend a live concert for you in Lebanon !!

These are the pictures of my nephew …his name is Bader ,isn’t he sooooooooooooooooooooo cute….i haven’t seen my brother for 4 yrs and he sent us the pics of his first son…..

Hey nephew now you arepopular sweety lol …wana eat him

US rappers sing for Palestine

I have read this article, nice one actually ,,,at least some people are doing something in their own way ,,,,


They rap about checkpoints, military oppression and refugee camps. Their songs express longing for Jerusalem and anger at the hardships of life in the Gaza Strip and West Bank.
But they grew up in Tennessee or Virginia, live in Los Angeles and perform in New York City.
Far away from the their parents' homeland in the Middle East, Arab-American rappers are trying to find their own voice in the United States - expressing the frustrations of the Muslim world at a time when anti-Islamic feelings are on the rise following the September 11 attacks.
Their neophyte movement is spurred on by the success that rap and hip-hop have in voicing the grievances and reflecting the lives of other minorities in the US.
Two of the Arab-American rappers, Umar Offendum and Ragtop of Los Angeles, are on the forefront of this small but growing trend in hip-hop music.
"Hip-hop has always been trying to voice resistance in the face of oppression," said Omar Offendum, the performance alias of 24-year-old Omar Chakaki. "And if you're growing up Arab, politics are very important because they affect every level of your life in many different ways."
"There's definitely a feeling of solidarity with other minorities, like African-Americans, and not just when it comes to the music," added Ragtop, 25, whose real name is Nizar Wattad. "Palestinians in Israel and the territories are also second-class citizens."

read the whole article if interested http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/45FEA83C-ACBB-41EE-B6D0-E05B60D3D375.htm

The Hero !

The other day I have read an article about the history of Yaser Araft ,,,well I don’t know what to call him a president may be…well Palestinians don’t have a recognized state,,, even if they want to believe that they have a state …its not independent, or doesn’t have the minimum requirements of establishing a state!! Oh ya that is regardless of the space of land they currently have! Imagine Gaza strip and the west bank! The disaster is that they can’t even have control over them? What a state is this? Anyway…it’s not my topic

So I was saying that the article on alarabiya.net portrayed Arafat as a hero who dedicated all his life for the Palestinian case, a freedom fighter blab blah…well what stunned me the most is the comments of the readers which were into believing that he was so…

(he used to a hero in my opinion but not after selling the land and recognising the occupation)

I was so surprised. Would their attitude toward Arafat be the same if he was alive? I don’t think so. We Arabs tends to be very emotional and to tend to forget the horrible things done by a person when she/he* passes away! Wasn't he the big loser who sold our land? ( that what Arab people used to think) and now he is a hero!! Wasn't he the guy who used to put the money in his pocket letting the rest of people starve !!!

I am not trying to point out anything at all except that Arabs are really weird ….just want to know how they think and how they perceive the world….can’t understand them !!!

A dialogue between a woman and anti-women’s rights people

Who is margining the woman in our culture?
Is it the religion or the tradition or both?

Whenever an Imam is asked bout the position or the role of women in Islam, he just brings examples of how good women were treated during the Prophet Mohammad era peace be upon him…??

So the problem is not in Islam? Is it?
Or people here don’t understand how to apply its concepts?

I am really confused!!!
Some woman are not allowed to study in universities or work abroad….when you tell them why, you get that stupid unconvincing answer!! You are a woman!! So what?

No you can’t protect your self?

Excuse me? Are we living in a jungle? We are in 2006 where you can control the whole world while sitting on you sofa drinking your cup of tea?

Oh ya we are living in a Jungle, we love you, we care about you, we want to protect you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who the hell do you think yourself to decide for me !!!

Am I a human being who can decide what is the best for her?
No sweetheart. You are a woman. You always need to be ruled and controlled. We know where your best interest is!!!


Don’t I have a brain and personality?
No darling. You are women and women don’t have those abilities to think, judge, or make decisions. Your heart is the judge!!


Isn’t my mistake that God created me a woman!
Well no honey don’t say so..it’s you fate

Is it really my fate…

Anger Management

I haven’t written anything for a long time…actually becoz I haven’t been so irritated as such for a long period of time!!!

Ya actually writing is the only easy way that releases the anger stored in me!!!
Wondering how it has such effect on the human beings….

So upset with myself especially that I am getting so lazy when it comes to studying…it’s supposed to be my last semester,,,but I dunno know what’s wrong with me…isn’t that I am releasing that life is not that rosy anymore..and that I am finding difficulty communicating with ppl surrounding me and that there is deep conflict between my beliefs and theirs!!!!!

And I am so upset with that way I releases my anger,,,whenever I lose my mind I tend to be aggressive and like to destroy and burn evey thing I see in front of me or anything that reminds me of the ppl who irritated me !!!!!!!!! wondering if its normal ! I doubt?
I guess I need some courses in anger management in order to express my feelings in a more civilized and positive way!
Ah ya civilized!

Individualistic fish in the collectivist ocean!!!

28 March, 2006

Financial dependency is the worst punishment that could happen to me
It’s like you are under the mercy of your others….you either obey what they want or obey what they want…not choice!!! No alternatives!!!

Otherwise,,,you won’t get a penny !!!!!!!

To me when I have money in my pocket I don’t give a damn to what others think, say, or want…I am the queen, I am the one who makes decision as long I can afford what I want !!!!

Ya individualistic mentality!! Guess what? Individualistic thinking in a collectivist culture!! wooow???Any chance to get along with collectivist people!! In my case NO WAY
!!!!

The Arab Summit

In my opinion that ARAB SUMMIT in Sudan is useless and we as Arab citizens don’t believe in such meetings that are obviously not productive !!!

Actually, I feel sorry for the money wasted on flowers, water, and food used to server politicians participating in the summit… this money could be used to help some families survive in Africa !!!

Wondering what these Summits do for Arab citizens?

Wondering if any rules issued will be applied or even respected !!!

They supporter the results of the Palestinian Elections? Ah So what??? As long our Big mom America is not satisfied with the Elections, Arab countries opinion don’t mean anything !!!

So what is the benefit of such summits and meeting if they can do anything? Some Arab leaders did not participate even, isn’t is a big shame !! well, may be they have busy schedules ! oh ya things more important than Arab Unity, more important than Arabs solidarity, more important than the sanctions on some Arab countries, more important than the foreign interfering with out interior affairs !!!!

Than as an Arab Citizen what is the most important thing on their agenda!!!!!!!!!
Sounds that when politician are in control, they forgot that they are supposed to work for their people’s interest when they got elected!!

Oh ya elected (what a big cute white lie)

Pain in my heart

Today was one of the worst days I have ever expeirencded
I had a big fight with my family..so frustrated
Well.. the hole debate was whether I go for training outside UAE or not….actually I thought that being getting the permission of my dad, every thing will go well…unfortunately, I was mistaken
I forgot that I have to take the permission of my parents plus
The permission of my 5 BROTHERS
AND the PERMISSION of my SISTER
And maybe the relatives, neighbors, and the whole country !!!

I forgot that I am a GIRL
I forgot that I am a MUSLIM
I forgot that I am an ARAB

Having this combination, you are not allowed to dream
Not allowed to grow
Not allowed to be FREE
Not allowed to be your own
Not allowed to be your self
Not allowed to have your own choices
Not allowed to make decisions

Rather

You should pay the cost of being a female
You should adhere to the stupid tradition and the laws of your culture

This is my story..i have been struggling for the past 4 or 5 years to be my self

I discovered that being educated was another mistake, being liberal, being open-minded, being enlightened, being universal, and being ambitious ARE WRONG in our culture!!!!