23 August, 2006

Single Arab women living alone? Yup, WHY NOT?

Personally I see no harm in single women living alone in separate apartments even if they have families living in the same country……

To me living alone means:

Independence
Freedom
And a separate identity away from dady’s and momy’s supervision and interference!!!

Life has no meaning when u r still living under ur family’s control even if u work and earn money….getting a sense of independence and being in charge of running your own house will enrich your life experience and will raise ur self esteem as a mature and independent woman who has equal rights and responsibility as men’s.

This idea is awkward in our conservative societies and impossible in most of the situations !!Both religion and culture are over-protective when it comes to anything related to women in a way that sickens me. So once you open your eyes u find a long list of taboo things waiting for u just becoz u r a woman!! Damn it!!!

To them, being a woman means that u must follow but not lead & must let others think, decide, and act for you coz they KNOW BETTER……..

Women are physically weak, mentally shallow-minded, and might get hurt becoz of men’s intentions so you must stay under your brother’s, husbands, or father’s control to PROTECT US!!!

I fed up of this crap and any woman must grab any chance to break the closed circle to free herself……

Why men can leave their family house and be independent while women can’t?

I’m waiting for an answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uffff…….i can’t wait for the day when I have my own apartment ALONE!!!!

19 August, 2006

Comments with regard to the last post

+wow…mmm ok first of all I m really happy that every one of u shared his/her
opinion, experience, or thought on this important topic…I guess I should allot more time 4 discussing the subject in my future posts….

Just to make things clear the type of dating that I talked about which I agree with meant to:

be serious not for fun

between adults and mature ppl who know what they are doing and know WHY they r dating

SO its customized to take both culture and religion into account….

I didn’t talk about dating in a night club

Or in a bar

Or a guy who threw his number when passing by a beautiful girl in a shopping mall!!!!!

+ I can list a zillion exp about marriages failed coz the couple knew nothing about each other !! and I can list a zillion exp about situations when the parents asked about the groom's reputation but ppl never know the other side of u ,,,their daughters were beaten and humiliated by the guy whose friends and relatives said he is decent!

In a nut shell thx 4 contributing and look forward to continuing this topic,,,unfortunately there will be no more posts…….i'll leave on vacation plus there is something worng with my laptop

:(((((((((((((...so good that i had the chance to write at least a reply 2 ur beautiful and interesting thoughts

Enjoy the summer…………

+ VERY Quick reply to:

adel: thx plz share with us ur dating stories

silentear

I need days just to reply to u man…first of all know that I respect ur opinion and appreciate your strong Iman and would like to get ur e-mail so I can write to u if u don’t mind..
…and feel free to comment on this blog .. some ppl might get convinced or have questions for u …anyhow why should u be surprised?
Having rebellious thought doesn’t mean that I don’t feel for my ppl any where in this world whether they are Arabs or not….


3anooda: give me a biiig hug ;)

Dozz: unfortunately I know ppl, most of the arab girls, who get married 4 "the heck of it" esp when the girl hits 25…sometime I don’t blame them as our culture never feel mercy 4 spinsters or divorced….ppl have creativity when it comes to torturing them mentally and emotionally!!!

Summer:no0thing is taboo in my dictionary but was busy with what is happening in Lebanon….so don’t be shocked to c more of this "taboo" topics esp about women's rights in this part of the world….welcome to the rebellious part of me ;)

babe_uae : dear I must say that u r so lucky (Mashallah) that u have met an open-minded local guy, so rarely 2 find such ppl, who doesn’t wait 4 his mamy and dady 2 choose his woman…usually wut local guys do is marrying at least 2 …1 local woman to save his social face in front of his ppl and rest (3) r of his choice!!!

The Rendezvous: Totally agree with u but like to know why things didn’t work with u so far ….would appreaciate if u could share with us some of ur stories and conclusions ;)
Haidar: Well said!

MISE mmm I donnu..i agree with u partially… its not religions that are double-standard but you men of course the majority not all of them..but with regard to religion we should either accept it as a system for our whole life or I duuno wut..but believe me religions never prohibit something for no reason!!

Al-Hajeji & 7ala thx 4 passing by
And I'm not emaratiiii but I live in UAE

15 August, 2006

Are you with or against dating?!?!

To me dating doesn’t necessarily mean making love…

Personally I do agree with dating especially if you are in the process of searching for “THE ONE”. I’m totally against the arranged or traditional marriage. Frankly it’s like buying watermelon its either red or green (metel el batikha ya 7amra ya ar3aa) most importantly I do have the right to pick & choose the man I like....the man I want not what my parents want!

I can’t imagine myself facing a man I don’t know for the rest of life. Oh God it would be the greatest punishment my mom would wish for me….at least I need a year or so to study his personality, mentality, and he must be a great supporter for THE ARAB WOMEN’S RIGHTS!!!! (which I will never find in SOME Arab men)

On the top of all that, it’s vital to know whether you and your soul mate share the same political, religious, social, and personal VALUES…you might say it’s ok & normal to have different opinions BUT I do say that it’s neither ok nor normal to have conflicts over CORE VALUES….unless he is tooooooooo understanding which I doubt finding such a trait in MANY Arab male…..

I agree that dating has many disadvantages especially when you start comparing between you ex- boy friend and you fiancé/ husband.

For example:

Ur ex-b/f used to call you babe, honey, hayati, 7abibty in every and each minute but ur fiancé doesn’t!!!

Ur ex-b/f used to open the door 4 u brfore u get in the car, kiss ur hand when u say bye, and pull the chair 4 u when u go to drink a cup of coffee but ur fiancé doesn’t!!!
(It’s so frustrating I know…very frustrating indeed)

I’m with dating but with limits meaning that:
-Both should be mature enough to have a serious commitment and long term relationship that will/might end up with marriage.

-No sex before marriage ( kisses r ok though…lol)
Believe me 95% of the Arab guys don’ think of getting married to girls they dated & 100% of the Arab guys don’t ever marry girls they had sex with….

I feel sorry for our societies who still disrespect the girl who dates accusing her of dragging her family name in the mud in time the guy can get away with whatever he does!

Is it fair!! I don’t think so……….

13 August, 2006

Do they really deserve wut they go thro ?????

I’m really so upset to see such pictures… (got them from http://moithinkingoutloud.blogspot.com/and though of spreading them so the whole world would c the Israeli civilization built on blood)
They killed childhood in millions of innocent angles…I dunno know what to say..i get mad whenever I read comments or posts about Arabs who feel sorry for victims from both sides!!! WHY BOTH SIDES!!!

Why do I have to feel sorry for Israelis? They kill our Arab kids with cold blood and committed war crimes against humanity and totally destroyed two countries!!! LET THEM BURN!!!

More than 250,000 immigrated outside Lebanon….!!! Regardless of those who lost their houses and wut they own…

Mirvate escaped from Lebanon to Jordan..last week I talked to her she is fine and is waiting 4 the war to end so she can go back to Lebanon…her house was destroyed!!! I’m proud of her as she says what has been destroyed is worthless versus what Hezballah sacrifices to resist the invaders……..

Lina’s house is destroyed as well…she is now in Canada but says they never felt sorry 4 their house as they see victims fall everyday……

Today I messaged Rama ….i was worried about her as haven’t heard of her for a week or so…7amdilaa she is fine too and left her house and moved to her Uncle’s house coz its safer there…

May God bless them all

I’m really in a shock…I’d like to tell the Arabs esp the Lebanese bloggers to save their sympathy 4 their people !!!! Palestinians have been slaughtered for 58 yrs and no body did anything !! I will never feel sorry for killers and Nazis……I want them to suffer every hour…every minute….every second…to feel the pain the Palestinians and Lebanese feel…to lose all their beloved ones to see how it hurts to c the ppl u love die!!!

I ask u God to save the resistance in Lebanon and Palestine….ya Allah Give them ur strength and support…..Bless them ALL….

Feelings of being useless and inactive to wut is happening around me kill me…I dunno wut to do…I hate politics as I stopped watching news…dont wana c any more pics …I dunno waanaa c dead bodies….i want this nightmare to end…….plz enough!!

12 August, 2006

05 August, 2006

Is there any tiny hope !!!

31 July, 2006

What Lebanese and Palestinians are waiting for is not humanitarian aids nor sympathy….what they are waiting for and expecting and demanding and requesting is honored situation to raise the heads of the Arabs Nations up but sounds that necks have been broken long time ago!!

Yup. The tongues of ALL Arab leaders have been eaten by mice. Add to this the blind eyes which can’t see the images of destruction & the massacre happening in Palestine and Lebanon.

So we end up having disabled leaders who can’t lead sheep even. Even sheep will not feel proud of being led by paralyzed leaders who will feed them to ……


Any ordinary angry citizen gave up and will never expect anything of his/ her governments that showed miserably that they

× Don’t represent their nations
× Don’t work for the best interest of the nations
× Have sadly let us down
× Have made us week states
× Have made our countries worship the superpower country that controls the whole world even its international institutions
× Drag us into shameless peace talks and convention that we are against in the first place


In a nutshell they are PARALYZED!!!!

The least things that can be done are:

× Stop exporting oil to countries that support the Nazis nation exerting its STATE TERROR
× Expel Israel’s ambassadors in Qatar, Egypt, and Jordan.
× Close Israel embassies in the countries mentioned above. No terrors in our countries!!! Kick them out!!! Kick them!
× Expel the US ambassadors in all the Arab countries and close their embassies.
× Withdraw the Arab countries representatives from the UN since its paralyzed and not able play the role it claims it plays***

***the reason behind establishing the UN is and will be COVERING the dirty work and the HIDDEN AGENDA of the Superpower countries!!!


If the following didn’t work, Arab countries should declare open war on Israel to extract the cancer deeply rooted in the Arab world……

21 July, 2006

I am frustrated
I am depressed
I want to leave this place
I want new life
I want to stay far away
I want to fly
I fed up I fed up I fed up
I need somebody special to support me
I am bored with every thing
I wanna quit my fucking job
I wana go back to school
I miss my old friends
I wana fly I wanna cry…I wanna shout ,,,I wana relocate
I hate Arabs
I am tired
I need a therapist
I hate them
I wan to fly I want to fly I want to fly
My heart is broken …my soul suffocates ….happiness is dead …….welcome to the kingdom of darkness

15 July, 2006

محمود درويش
ـ 1ـ
أيها المارون بين الكلمات العابره
احملوا اسماءكم، وانصرفوا
واسرقوا ما شئتم من زرقة البحر ورمل الذاكره
وخذوا ما شئتم من صور ، كي تعرفوا
انكم لن تعرفوا
كيف يبني حجر من ارضنا سقف السماء
ـ2ـ
أيها المارون بين الكلمات العابره
منكم السيف ـ ومنا دمنا
منكم الفولاذ والنار ـ ومنا لحمنا
منكم دبابة اخرى ـ ومنا حجر
منكم قنبلة الغاز ـ ومنا المطر
وعلينا ما عليكم من سماء وهواء
فخذوا حستكم من دمنا وانصرفوا
وادخلوا حفل عشاء راقص.. وانصرفوا
وعلينا ، نحن ، ان نحرس ورد الشهداء..
وعلينا ، نحن ، ان نحيا كما نحن نشاء!
ـ 3ـ
أيها المارون بين الكلمات العابرة
كالغبار المر ، مروا أينما شئتم ولكن
لا تمروا بيننا كالحشرات الطائرة
خلنا في ارضنا ما نعمل
ولنا قمح نربيه ونسقيه ندى اجسادنا
ولنا ما ليس يرضيكم هنا:
حجر .. او خجل
فخذوا الماضي، اذا شئتم، الى سوق التحف
واعيدوا الهيكل العظمى للهدهد، إن شئتم،
على صحن خزف.
فلنا ما ليس يرضيكم : لنا المستقبل
ولنا في ارضنا ما نعمل
ـ4ـ
أيها المارون بين الكلمات العابره
كدسوا اوهامكم في حفرة مهجورة ، وانصرفوا
واعيدوا عقرب الوقت الى شرعية العجل المقدس
أو الى توقيت موسيقى مسدس!
فلنا ما ليس يرضيكم هنا ، فانصرفوا
ولنا ما ليس فيكم، وطن ينزف شعبا ينزف
وطنا يصلح للنسيان او للذاكرة..
أيها المارون بين الكلمات العابره،
آن أن تنصرفوا
وتقيموا أينما شئتم ، ولكن لا تموتوا بيننا
فلنا في ارضنا ما نعمل
ولنا الماضي هنا
ولنا صوت الحياة الاول
ولنا الحاضر، والحاضر ، والمستقبل
ولنا الدنيا هنا... والآخرة
فاخرجوا من أرضنا
من برنا.. من بحرنا
من قمحنا.. من ملحنا.. من جرحنا
من كل شيء ، واخرجوا
من ذكريات الذاكره
أيها المارون بين الكلمات العابره

دخيل الله انصرفوو انصرفوووو

Yesterday I slept on the sofa in the living room so I could listen to AL Arabiya News until the I fell asleep…Today in the morning and while driving to work I decided to turn on to the most braised radio SAWA Radio….As usual its news are aimed at brainwashing the Arab Youth as if they are not brainwashed already!!!!

What stunned me ....not really but I mean what pissed me off two or three things:

-Bush is proud of the Jordanian, Saudi, and the Egyptian governments’ reactions toward Hezballah’s operations…! And he is looking forward to see what the Arab summit will end up saying as it will determine by what side Arab governments stand !!!



-The Israelis Bastards claim that Hamas is gone now as half of their leaders are in the prison while the other half is under the earth hiding!!!! “Wearing a tie and suit will not change the fact that they are targeted either by assassination or prison”, said an Israeli bastard in the military.


Now what drives me crazy is that Hezballah is accused of:

-Destroying Lebanon.
-Driving the country and the region into hell by making "uncalculated adventures".
-Serving the hidden Agenda of Syria and Iran!
-Establishing illegalized terrorist state inside a state!

Having some crowd Arabs who worship the super countries blindly believe THE MENTIONED ABOVE is not the problem because you can never expect something from our governments BUT
BUT
BUT
BUT to have Lebanese who back what Israel is doing is the most disgusting thing any human being can feel!!!!!

They want to repeat the same story of Iraqis who let the Americans occupy their lands in the name of freeing them!! Some Anti-Islamists Lebanese & anti-Syrians who want to get ride if Hezballah and Shiia want Israel to do them a favor by wiping Hezbollah out !!!!

HezbAllah you have been able to do what Arabs will never be able to do!!! The whole world let you down, the whole world gave their back to you…..ALLAH will never let you down…the fingernail of one of your fighters is worth those arabs who fuck their wives in the night and cry like women in the evening for the lose of Honor and land...

To the Arab ass kissers, HezbAllah will teach you what manhood is and what faith is
……..to my friend Mirvat in Burite…I love you and wish if I were with u …..keep your head you are lebanese!!!!

14 July, 2006

Masters of Torture and TERRoOoR!!!!

Against torture, not physically only !!

I was supposed to write something on torture long time ago and now it’s the time to do so …
Every once in a while I will be updating about the violation of the human rights in the occupied Palestine by the Israeli occupation….

According to the Palestinian Centre for Human Rights:
-The outcome of crimes committed by Israeli Occupation Forces since 25 June 2006:
10 Palestinians have been killed by IOF (3 have been extra-judicially executed and 6 have been killed by shelling).

-79 Palestinian civilians, including 21 children, have been wounded by the IOF gunfire.

-82 air-to-surface missiles and hundreds of artillery shells have been fired at Palestinian civilians and military targets in the Gaza Strip.

-Two buildings of the Palestinian Ministry of Interior, the office of the Palestinian Prime Minister and a number of educational institutions have been destroyed.

-3 bridges linking Gaza City with the southern Gaza Strip and 3 roads in Khan Yunis and al-Nusairat have been destroyed.

-Hundreds of donums of agricultural land and 5 houses have been destroyed, and 6 other houses have been transformed into military sites.

-The electricity network of Rafah has been destroyed.

-At least 180 Palestinian civilians, including 8 ministers and more than 20 PLC members have been arrested in the West Bank, and 4 Palestinian civilians have been arrested in the Gaza Strip.

-Gaza International Airport in the southern Gaza Strip and parts of the northern Gaza Strip have been occupied by IOF.

Meanwhile......

THE POLICY OF COWBOYS

Most of you probably know that yesterday the US ambassador in the UN blocked passing a resolution that condemned using violence against Palestinians in the Gaza strip !!!
According to AL Jazeera. Net, The US was the only country to vote against the draft resolution put forward by Qatar on behalf of Arab nations. Ten of the 15 Security Council nations voted in favour and four, Britain, Denmark, Slovakia and Peru, abstained.
The draft resolution accused Israel of a "disproportionate use of force" that endangered Palestinian civilians, and demanded Israel withdraws its troops from Gaza.

13 July, 2006

It’s really shameful what’s going on in Lebanon. So far the Israeli bastards fired rockets 10 bridges and the run ways of Bruit airport with 28 civilian causalities. The whole world is silent…. Where is the international community? where are the Arab leaders. Isn’t enough that Palestinians get killed every day with cold blood and the whole world is watching them.

Who is going to re-build the infrastructure destroyed?
What are we going to say to the young wives of the martyrs, or to the orphans who have no clue what’s happening around them?

Where are you Zayed? Where are you Abed Al Nasser…

.our hearts cry every day for losing leaders like you TRUE LEADERS TRUE MEN... Your brothers in Lebanon and Palestine are slaughtered like chicken by the Israeli bustards…wish you were here…wish if current leaders have learnt anything from you…instead they don’t save efforts to free the Israeli detainee forgetting 10,000 Palestinians detainees including CHILDREN AND WOMEN in the Israeli Prisons !!!


Love you Hezb ALLah

Love you Hassan Nasro ALLah

May God Bless Hamass and Hezbo ALLah ….

GO Lebanese and Palestinians …GO GO Keep your heads up ! Teach Arabs the meaning of manhood while they are sitting on thechairs they worship!!

May Gob bless all the clean politicians who fight for the freedom and honor of their people and countries……

30 June, 2006

Cadbury chocolate bars in UAE safe, fit for consumptionposted on 28/06/2006

""Cadbury chocolate products in the UAE are free of any contamination and are fit for human consumption, a municipal official disclosed yesterday. 'Thorough and exhaustive lab investigations and tests and field surveys conducted by food safety control and inspection authorities have found that the Cadbury chocolate bars are safe, free of the alleged contamination and fit for human consumption," said Obeid bin Isa Ahmed, Assistant Secretary General of Municipalities. 'Cadbury products in the UAE markets have been subjected to tests in various food labs. The tests have not been confined to the contamination-suspected brands reported by the international media but to all brands,' he affirmed. Cadbury local agent said in a meeting that the brands under question were not imported into the UAE markets. Reports on Friday said that more than a million Cadbury products were recalled from the market in the United Kingdom over fears that they may be contaminated with salmonella. The contamination in the UK was traced to a leaking pipe in West Central England, which has already been repaired. (Emirates News Agency, WAM)""

Wondering wuts is safe to eat…every thing seems to be contaminated…not healthy….with artificial colours…..so wut should we eat!

To me foreign brands are untrustworthy now ? ….two months ago a contact lens solution was pulled out from the UAE market after proving that it might lead to blindness and severe consequences!!…..i used to use that brand…! Imagine .....

27 June, 2006

What would you do if ......?!

U WON 1 MILLION DH?





13 things I would do with a million DH?

I WOULD ............
1-Quit the job I might be doing ......
2-Buy 3 or 4 new brand cars. One for morning, one for afternoon, one for evening, and the last one to be parked in front of my house....
3-Buy an apartment.
4-Do my masters.
5-Establish my own business.
6-Buy a dog. My mother hate dogs.
7-Visit some countries with my dog. Some. Shit! Say the whole world.
8-Give some to charity. No I would establish some non-profit organizations…much better…
9-Adopt 10 kids. Two from each continent…
10-Give some to my family.
11-Go shopping every day three times till I say enough. I know I will never say it.
12-Set up a modern nursery so that kids learn something useful when mom at work.
13-Take some courses in other languages. Learn Italian, fresh, etc.

13 things I would do if I were ahead of state?

1-Enforce the concept of total equality between women and men……..
2-Cut off the head of men who beat up their wives and daughters!
3-Make women’s salary twice as much as men’s!
4-Make women sponsor their husbands & fathers!
5-Put an end to dowries and the wedding expenses so every body can get married
6-Promote creative minds and embrace the talents……..
7-Feed all hungry people……
8-Educate the whole population in the country…..
9-Stop using currencies and adopt the old system of exchange
10-Make every body happy……..
12-Protect the nature and the environment……..
13-Make all people equal…..so no body is richer than another…….

The Rough Road

26 June, 2006

Today I hade an interview with a manager of a recruitment agency to tell me about the offer she has for me….actually the offer is not bad but the salary is miserable…I know that I could find a better position for a better salary but that takes time and I cant wait longer :S although I graduated last month……what I liked about the job is that it will entail traveling within GCC countries…I love the idea although it will break out a war at home since I come from a conservative home where every thing is taboo and the girl is under great pressure and where people say and think is the priority …..

But they have to figure out that I let them mess enough in my life in time I was not able to make many important decisions…..now as I’m about to be independent financially I want to be myself….i want to take my own decisions without any interference…….

After the interview I met up with my sister and after finishing her work….oh ya i bough a bunch of roses 4 my mom as she was depressed in the past few days :D..."wut a lovely daughter"...anyhow as excepted …I took some doses of frustration as she didn’t encourage me to accept the offer since the salary is very low …”deep inside I know that she disliked the idea of traveling”…..as she said the salary wont last for 10 days even!!…very true especially that I will be driving from Sharjah to Dubai by 4X4 car that swallows petrol like hell…..Actually I am thinking of selling it and buying a smaller used car :D…..well I am thinking practically now !!!

Anyhow I’ll be under probation for three months …after that I can decide whether to go head and continue with them or not….at least three-month experience is not that bad…I still have the opportunity to find something better…

U might be wondering how much they will be paying …..Guess

No not exactly…..

No NOo Lesser….

Ya Exactly

3500 Dh !!

1300 for the car
1200 4 petrol
And guess what I will end up having 1000!!

Tomorrow I will meet up with the girl working at that company …will do my best to push the salary up at least to 4000…………I will c wut’s going to happen ……..

25 June, 2006

Well since I am going through the tragedy of finding a job I listed the addresses of some recruitment agencies in the UAE and Dubai…..they might be helpful for those planning to move to Dubai or those who are seeking better positions… tomorrow I have a job interview …..wish me luck :D

23 June, 2006

Today I received an e-mail that I like so I decided to share some of the wonderful quotes…



“Life can be understood only looking behind but can be lived only looking ahead.”
(Soren Kierkegaard)




“Why repeat the old errors, if there are so many new errors to commit.”
(Bertrand Russel)



“Always there is a drop of madness in love, yet always there is a drop of reason in madness.”
(F.Nietzshe)




“Many people lose the small joys, in the hope for the big happiness.”
(Pearl S. Buck)




“I made an agreement of peaceful coexsistance with time:neither he pursues me, nor I run from him, one day we will find each other.”
(Mario Lago)

“Never walk on the traveled path because it only leads you to where the others have been.”
(Grahan Bell)

21 June, 2006

I’m bored to death…depressed…feel like doing nothing…even talking with people or answering any phone call…..not in the mood to go out either…its hot like hell out there especially in the morning…I feel like taking tablets to sleep for three months….it has been around two months since I finished my exams…I really wanna find a job but don’t want to work at the same time ….am I crazy …I really hate my laziness….hate this attitude…. Even my mom ..i can’t get along with her….she can’t understand me…….last night I donno what happened with me I couldn’t sleep well…..

Even the guy I met last week…I don’t reply to his calls…I really feel sorry for him…what shall I tell him …I don’t feel like talking to you without any apparent reason?!!!! He would think that I am a big loser and moody …….
Another problem is that I am trying to reduce my weight ..but really I can’t …I am trying to resist………

Oh God plz I hate myself when I am in a bad mood………… what’s going on? why don’t I feel myself young, fresh, and energetic? Sometimes I feel that I don’t know what I want in life….or maybe it’s the accumulation of frustration that I had in the past years ……

11 June, 2006

Wonderful place where u can find some peace of mind......

MMMmmmm.... in these days the weather doesn't help to have a wake there

Guantanamo: Hell on Earth


Today while driving to the dentist I heard on the radio about the three Arabs who committed suicide in the American prison in Cuba…I am really so upset…I feel so sorry for them and for myself and the useless people including the governments and public…..sometimes I ask myself to what extent its worthy to live in this life….
Until when the Arab government will overlook the case of the Arab prisoners in Guantanamo…. I need an answer? Aren’t they ashamed of themselves for not working for the best interest of their people?

These innocent prisoners spent years and years withoutapparent reasons nor fair tails…most of them were caught in Afghanistan after the 9/11 ….ya sure superpower countries don’t need to justify their nasty work in the third world countries…..

With media busy with interviewing with movie stars, ridiculous shallow-minded talk shows, and disgusting video clips we will remain in comma for centuries…..

I really ask God to bless the prisoners with his support and lighten their hearts and minds with faith and passion……………read the article posted on CNN.com

10 June, 2006

Secret report brands Muslim police corrupt


its an interesting article ....one sentence caugth my attention

"One Muslim officer with the Met said: "It is like saying black officers are more likely to be muggers. Today it is Muslim officers who are treated as the Uncle Toms. How can they say to the Muslim community 'trust us', when they don't even trust their own Muslim officers"

Just would like to know how far this study is accurate and representitive? nothing was mentioned about this aspect....just conclusions without backing up their claims... read the whole acrticle

01 May, 2006

Stolen from one of the bolgers’ posts …haha but of couse modified

ABC Of Me
A ct your age?: Always act older than my age. This is the problem. I have never acted my age !!!

B orn on what day of the week?: Saturday I guess

C hore you hate?: Housework, taking orders

D ream of? Waking up to find my self in the world I want to live in

E ssential makeup item(s)?: Foundation, EYE-LINER, MASCARA, BLUSHER, AND contour!!!
F avorite singers(s)?: Faurouz, Elissa, Majeda El romy, Fadel Shaker

G old or silver?: Silver, Silver, & Sliver, then Plastic accessories

H ometown?: Never had one, still searching

I nstruments you play?: Depression !!

J ust one word for me?: Ambitious

K ids?: Angles when well-raised
L ies?: Without then life is tough! (Not major ones BTW)

M ajor thing you want to change? Every thing

N eed?: To libilize my soul and break the chains

O vernight hospital stays?: Once, when I felt down on my head

P hobias?: Planes, violence
Q uote you like?: Read the one on the top of the blog

R eligious affiliation?: Islam

S iblings: Hope never had any !

T ime you wake up?: Depends of the mood. When depressed I never wake up!!

U nique talent?: Giving advices! But when it comes to my problems..!

V egetable you refuse to eat?: 80 % of vegetables!!!

W orst habit?: Don’t know how to FORGIVE & FORGET

X -rays you've had?: twice, 1 for breast :$ one for the brain long time ago
Y ummy food you make?: Chocolate cakeZ oo animal you like?: All




Things scare me: love, affairs, Arab men, marriage, wars, earthquakes, death, graves, and fate

Things I hate: tradition, talking behind my back, disorganization, dishonesty, routine, sex discrimination, nagging, the short-temper, and my family!!

Things I sacred: friendship, love, loyalty, the sea, education, perfection, and personal privacy

Another horrid crappy movie

21 April, 2006

Well, yesterday I watched an Egyptian Movie on Melodi Aflam TV. The story caught my attention as the theme was discussing several crucial things in our Arab society. I told myself oh my God finally there is an Arabic movie worth watching! I was mistaken actually!!

The story was about young couple going back from London to Egypt after getting their degrees in medicine. Actually the guy got married in London without informing his uncle “the scary close-minded monster in the movie” who spent a lot on teaching and raising his nephew. The guy promised his wife to introduce her to his family as soon as possible but claimed that he needed time.

His weak personality, his submission to the cultural habits that entail the guy to marry his cousin, and his fear to let his uncle down forced him to marry his cousin, who was waiting for him all those years, without informing his first wife, the one that mind and heart chose! Wut a bastard!!

For almost a year he was split between here and there refusing to be a MAN by telling the truth to both his uncle and his first wife. Since he was living with the first wife at his uncle’s villa, he couldn’t resist his brutishness lust so his wife got pregnant from the first time…….

Anyhow, I was so excited to c the end…..Was excited to c who will win

Many questions went in my mind, could that educated, civilized, and open-minded man resist the barbarity and the retardation, and backwardness of his culture….

Would he be able to say that HE CHOSE HIS WOMAN?

The end was shocking, unexpected as I was waiting 4 another end showing to the people what should happen…He dumped his first wife, he ran to his second wife as she gave a birth to a baby boy!....He even wasn’t brave to give any explanation to his first heartbroken wife …just left without saying anything letting her relative who was aware of wut happened from A to Z tell her the truth … tell her that she got married 2 a sucker , a big liar, a chicken in man shape!!! I really own an apology to chicken now….

In fact, the most horrible mistake a women could ever commit is getting married 2 a man who is not a MAN…why would I get married to a guy who doesn’t have the courage to fight for me, to fight the whole world for my eyes, a rabbit who couldn’t face his family to say this is the woman I love, the woman I want, the woman who I wanna spend the rest of life with….

Is this the message Arab movies wanna send! I feel sorry for the two hours I spent watching a ridiculous and meaningless film where the mistaken beliefs won and had the final word …

Do U Miss me

18 April, 2006

never expected to like a guy who doesn’t give me a damn …I used to lecture my friends when it comes to love and men ….but when u try its something different…..
I hate my self when I think about him, why would I care about him….to hell with love…but after all, u need that special person in ur life, ,,,that person who cares about u , misses u , loves u , gets mad at u …blab blah….

i have no clue wut my reaction would be in case I met him one day….wut if he wanted us to go back to each other… should I say NO, SORRY u r not in my life anymore…or should I open my arms telling him that I MISSED HIM BIG TIME…..

Wish if I can understand you, 3an jad dying to know wut is going on in ur head…do u miss me, actually I do, every day I remember u ,,,,in every hour and minute….i feel that u had no idea how much I care about u that’s why u r giving me a hard time…….

One day I will be able to FORGET U …..I know that BUT I DON’T WANT that 2 happen…had no choice other than tearing out that leaf …….

MISS U BUT u know wut I always ask God to bless u …..Wherever u r , whomever u r with…I wish u all the best ………..

My silent friend

04 April, 2006

Driving from the university I decided to go to the beach as the weather was cloudy little bit. I chose a quiet spot…actually I couldn’t resist not to be near the water… I always had that secretive relation with the sea… Whenever I wanna escape from human beings, I go to visit my silent friend. It’s color and the sound of its water hitting the rocks I sit on give me the energy to survive. It charges me with power to struggle. What makes the sea unique is that its always there for you, to listen to you ……..

I just grabbed a stone and start drawing on the sand. Strips and matrixes are what my hand drew. Deep lines…but not as deep as my soul wound… I wondered about what these lines might mean in the psychology dictionary….
Anyway ..felt that I want to get closer and closer to my friend so I jumped on the rocks.
i told myself now I can see the whole sea clearer. Wish if I could see my future path as clear as I saw the blueness of the sea.

I saw a plane and wished if it could stop and pick me. It would be a miracle….a miracle that it will never happen,,, but who knows …it might have read my thoughts at that moment but chose to ignore me ... sometimes objects might understand, feel, sense more than human beings!!

I didn’t care where it was going as long as it will take me far away.

Anyhow…I charged myself with wut might keep me strong for coming days so I decided to go home… while going back to my car, a local guy passed in front of me and said: Asalam 3alikno (Peace be upon you)

I was like sorry I won’t fell in that stupid situation again. So I ignored him as if I haven’t heard anything…
The other day while walking in the street a car approached me and the guy driving said:
Mar7aba “Hi”
Me: Ahleen “Hi”
The guy with a suit and tie: Kifik “ How are you!!”
I was like damn it ..i thought that he stopped me to ask me about directions or something as he looked mature (in mid thirties may be) and gentle….i felt that I was really stupid..why did I stop in da middle of the street and gave him attention!
Ya well I though that he would be civilized but ya I was mistaken (as 99.99% of men are not!!! )

Anyway …beside my car was a cute guy smoking alone.,, Sounded that he had something to say to the sea. I felt that we had something in common. Felt that he had a story to tell….

But I just ignored him as I switched on the engine and drove away………

Are U A Rebel or revolutionary?

Aren’t these wonderful words worth reading hundred times…I keep on reading them over and over,,,,and every time I discover new meaning,,,the shadow of wisdom behind each letter…

A rebel is one who doesn’t rebel against the society, who understands the whole game of it and simply slips out of it. It becomes irreverent to him. He is not against it. And that is the beauty of rebellion: it is freedom. The revolutionary is not free. He is constantly fighting with something-how can he be free? He is constantly reacting against something-how can there be freedom in reaction?

Freedom means understanding. One has understood the game, and seeing that this is the way the soul is prevented from growing, the way one is not allowed to be oneself, one simply gets out of it without scar on the soul. One forgives and forgets and remains without any clinging to the society in the name of love or in the name of hate. Society has simply disappeared for the rebel. He may live in the world or he may go out of the world, but he belongs to it no more; he is an outsider.

OSHO

You personality type according to the first number you get (have a look at the previous post

02 April, 2006

1. Dynamic
You are lively, energetic, and dynamic and have that solid determination. You like to succeed in any competition. Generally, you are independent, and you can’t stand relying on others or being roped by marriage!! You don’t care that much about familial life and you prefer to live by your own. You feel great when you have control over things.

2. Quiet
You are diplomatic, quite, and kind, and do listen to others and respect them, and don’t exceed the borders. You can’t live alone and do need others. Sometimes you are cautious, hesitant, and with low self-esteem.

3. Adventurous
Thirsty for adventures and changes. You tend to be that person who loves traveling and hanging around without a gool. Tend to be rational. What you like most is fun ,adventures, and experiencing things

4. Cautious
Not that type that likes thinking about crazy ideas. You simply think about the results in this first place. Deep inside, you are honest and loyal. What you need is stable work, love and some organization in your life. It’s so difficult to convince you to change your way because you don’t like speeding.

5. Excited
You are crazy and love life. In love with adventures and not very cautious. You need freedom, living humanitarian experiences, and constant change. In deed, you are a traveler that seeks new things and you like testing the strong feelings.


6. Responsible
You like to be surrounded by your partner, kids, relatives, and friends. You feel so responsible towards yourself and others. You are organized in every thing you do especially at work. Artist, attractive, sensitive, and need comfort, security and the protection of your surroundings.

7. Unique
You are independent and take your own decisions alone. What you need is peace and quietness to feel ok. You are idealistic, secretive, and prefer to avoid crowded places. You also study things very well and think too much. Your interests tend to be spiritual but not materialistic.

8. Idealistic
You always think about others. Simply, you are generous, ideal, and dedicated to others. Dream about traveling, friendships, and humanitarian experience. You are so sensitive and thinker. You only move on when you have confidence in your self and whenever you specify a task, you accomplish it quickly.

Today I skipped the international marketing class which was supposed to be at 8:00 am in order to study for the strategic management exam which was as 3:30 pm (as if I studied anything)…last night, I slept at 3:00 am …no don’t think that I wasn’t studying till that time,,,actually I was chatting!!

The exam was ok, my friend (from Slovakia) and I sat at the back in order to cheat!!!She even gave her boy friend the textbook and some slides so she can SMS him whenever she wants a help…..well I am not accustomed to the idea of cheating but I reached the status of indifference!!

I suggested opening the MSN and review the questions together so no one will need to look at another’s screen….i even open the word document so she can see the question in large font!!!!!

Anyway the hour passed so quickly, I got 80% while she got 74…..Finally we passed!!!...

After than I passed by the office a professor that I admire, respect, and like….i tool with him two course last year…he is very kind, caring, and loving. He is American but Lebanese by origin.

He asked me about how life is going and I told him my story. He felt sorry for me as he expected something different. What brought that topic was the discussion about how useless that ambition is without support! He was like: you have no parental support?!…I was ah ya parental support! No, got no parental support! So I told him the story of the internship abroad and how difficult to accomplish anything in such a culture…etc.

we discussed many issues: the ambitious women whose cultural restrictions killed them, discrimination between the man and woman in the Arab societies, the work after graduation,,,,many things……he told me his story and how he left Lebanon to the US where he got his PhD, the challenges he faced especially from his family, and his marriage to an Iraqi woman…blah blah (if that man hadn’t been Christian, I would have asked him to marry me!!! Yaaaaaa allah I envy his wife for having such a man)

anyway that dialogue made me feel better….at least I released loads of pain stored in every cell of my soul…..while driving from school, I was just thinking how much I hate myself, hate arabs, hate islam, hate men, hate tradition and most important hate my family that was the root of such hatred….the family that doesn’t save an effort to make me depressed, hopeless, broken, loser without any desire to do anything if life…….

They have no feelings…no feelings at all,,,as if they have done nothing to screw up and interfere with my life……….wish if God gave us the chance to choose who we are!!!


Aha forget to say that my sister sent me an SMS today morning at 7:30 am again …wish if I could tell her to save her files coz she might need them for something more useful!!!!!!!!……..and again the guys in Dubai called me three times…I lost my mind…I got mad but at myself ….so I wrote them an e-mail explaining that I can’t grape this valuable chance becoz of stupid uncountable circumstances “family commitments, huh”

Anyhow I am just listening to fayrouz ,,her voice is wut makes me alive!!!

Another bad daaaaaay

01 April, 2006

Today is another bad day. So depressed. I had a lecture at 11am but couldn’t get up till 10:30 although I slept at around 1:30 …I was so scared to miss the class especially that the professor is so strict with regard to attendance. Tomorrow I have strategic management exam. But not in the mood to study. So crazy, right!!! Imagine I have more than 150 pages to read which I have no clue what they are about…ah ya they are about stupid strategic management. I will definitely fall this exam. It’s so painful when you reach that stage of indifference, no feelings of guilt anymore!! I am listening to music to relax little bit so I might try to read for tomorrow’s exam.

Today, I saw a missed called from the ppl in Dubai, again didn’t call back. I can’t …I dunno what to tell them after I showed that enthusiasm to participate in their program. i couldn’t stop thinking about this issue. I want to overcome my shock.

Oh one more thing, yesterday a guy e-mailed me regarding an ad I posted on a website … I am looking for a part-time job to kill boredom especially that I’m not in the mood to study at all this semester. Hope just to pass!

But that guy didn’t call me so far. I want to do anything new in order to lessen the depression that I suffer from these day! Plz callll meeeeeeeeeeeeee

This is my third cup of nescafeeeeeeeee….wana finish it and go back to studying,,,,